jonny78 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I've posted quite a lot on here over the past few months. I'd be the first to agree I've been in a bad way. I was at university this year, in my final year where my ex decided to cheat on me with, and leave me for a 'friend' of mine. Since then I cut all contact with her and mutual friends. I have been NC for 4 months, and I never heard one word from her. I only ever saw her once during this period, and she broke down into tears (because i ignored her when she tried to initiate conversation) and text her friend saying she was 'drowning her sorrows over losing her bf' and that she 'was so ashamed of what she did to me' I still never directly heard anything, and have never had an apology. I've been suffering for 119 days, she probably suffered for that 1 night only... the other 118 she's been spreading her legs for the other guy. So that's the back story, here is the question: I am going to a leavers party on Friday, where she will be. I know for a fact that the person she left me for is not going to be there. She will be alone and I do think that she will try to talk to me. What would you do? What should I do? I'm so confused. 1. Ignore her and walk off, keep my NC - is this the best thing to do after everything? Does this put across the strongest message? 2. Talk to her, one on one. Keep my composure but put across in an adult manner what she did... and try to make her realise how bad it was. I don't have any unanswered questions, because I gave myself the answers e.g. Q. Why did she leave you for him? A. Because she no longer loved you. I do however have things that I wish she knew, e.g. How what she did affected my life - and I could speak about this for days... Does the silence say it all? Or should I speak to her from my heart as this will be the last chance I get... .......... Please advise.
Billie The Puppet Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Don't premeditate anything. Go have fun and let it be that. Should she come try to talk to you and you are up to it hear what she has to say and don't bother trying to satisfy her with an answer she may like to hear. Is you are not up to listening to her just clmly tell her you are not interested in speaking to her at that time and walk away.
flyman Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 What do you really want from her? She is seeing someone isn't she? If deep inside you know that it's time to move on, you guys can simply have a good adult talk. However, if in the back of your head you are looking to confront her or try to make her feel bad leaving you... This might end differently. Depending on how you really feel about this person, you should decide what is best for you in the long run.
melenkurion Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Go to your party, have fun. I honestly think you'll have the most fun if you hand around with the friends who have stuck by you in all this. It's not only the last chance with her, it might be the last time you are together as a group with lots of other people, who I am sure have treated you far better. The best thing you can do is to not to talk to her, without being rude. I completely understand you wanting her to understand what she did to you. I am just the same, I wish my ex and my mate understood what they put me through. And yet, I truly know in my heart it'd be futile. They are, and she is, simply incapable of understanding what they did. She isn't going to have an epiphany until something catastrophic happens to her.
Author jonny78 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Thanks for the repsonses: I want her to know that I hate her and I want the guilt to consume her. (Seeing as she broke down infront of me because I rudely ignored her when I saw her last, I think it's working) Bad intentions? Some might say... But she deserves it. So silence is the answer right? Heck i'll rudely ignore her if I have to...
guccimane99 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Drop it like its hot. Just go the party look really good and just have a blast. Dont worry about her at all and if she says hi just say hi back and thats it. If she says nothing just don't even look at her. Go to the gym or lift therefore you got that look of ur muscles being full. No one loves losing someone that is doing better than them. Expecially if you look happy and carefree.
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