sydneysider1978 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) Hi All, To broaden my horizons, I've put up a profile on the most popular local internet dating site. I've spent some time finding some nice photos and trying to convey my personality in the profile. It's been two days and I've been really pleasantly surprised by some of the people I've been contacted by. If they are all they say they are, then there are some very attractive and smart people on there. Which is great. But.. there is one thing I really don't get. I have an idea of how attractive I am, and not only of who I like but who might find me attractive in return. I would get in contact with someone I see I am kind of equivalent to, I wouldn't contact an 20 YO male model for example. I've set limits on age, location and height on my profile. There are loads of much older, and frankly much less attractive men who have been sending me kisses. What do they hope to achieve? I realise the above sounds a little mean, I don't mean this as a "how dare they" rant, I'm just wanting to understand what the thinking is. I'm guessing they use a scattergun approach, in case someone does bite. Heck, maybe I should shoot for the stars. But my ideal is someone about my level of success and intelligence, who I fancy and who fancies me in return... Oh, and what's the reason that an older guy sets his age range much younger than himself? Yuck. Edited June 7, 2011 by sydneysider1978 Typo
alethean Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Idk. It's probably not that deep to them. Some approach it as a numbers game and just contact whoever strikes their interest, even reaching for the stars (as you said). I wouldn't take it to mean much of anything though.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 But.. there is one thing I really don't get. I have an idea of how attractive I am, and not only of who I like but who might find me attractive in return. I would get in contact with someone I see I am kind of equivalent to, I wouldn't contact an 20 YO male model for example. I've set limits on age, location and height on my profile. There are loads of much older, and frankly much less attractive men who have been sending me kisses. What do they hope to achieve? I guess they feel they have nothing to lose by trying. I get messages from warpigs all the time on Plenty of Fish.
good_vibes Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I just posted something similar in the other current post on internet dating. It is a waste of my time, really, when one of those types of people, who know in real life would have no chance with me, sends me a message or wink or whatever. I think they must think what the hey, it doesn't cost me anything to try, and/or they must just be really bored. Or give themselves credit for "trying" when they really aren't.
thatone Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Hi All, To broaden my horizons, I've put up a profile on the most popular local internet dating site. I've spent some time finding some nice photos and trying to convey my personality in the profile. It's been two days and I've been really pleasantly surprised by some of the people I've been contacted by. If they are all they say they are, then there are some very attractive and smart people on there. Which is great. But.. there is one thing I really don't get. I have an idea of how attractive I am, and not only of who I like but who might find me attractive in return. I would get in contact with someone I see I am kind of equivalent to, I wouldn't contact an 20 YO male model for example. I've set limits on age, location and height on my profile. There are loads of much older, and frankly much less attractive men who have been sending me kisses. What do they hope to achieve? I realise the above sounds a little mean, I don't mean this as a "how dare they" rant, I'm just wanting to understand what the thinking is. I'm guessing they use a scattergun approach, in case someone does bite. Heck, maybe I should shoot for the stars. But my ideal is someone about my level of success and intelligence, who I fancy and who fancies me in return... Oh, and what's the reason that an older guy sets his age range much younger than himself? Yuck. as a man who arranges a majority of his dates online, i have never sent one of those "kisses" or "winks".
Feelsgoodman Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I just posted something similar in the other current post on internet dating. It is a waste of my time, really, when one of those types of people, who know in real life would have no chance with me, sends me a message or wink or whatever. I think they must think what the hey, it doesn't cost me anything to try, and/or they must just be really bored. Or give themselves credit for "trying" when they really aren't. Oh, get over yourself. Waste of your time? It's not like you have to reply to them or even read their messages. When you put yourself out there, you can expect some of the messages to be from guys you don't find attractive. It's like that in real life too. I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day and this ugly creature (I hesitate to call her a girl) decided to strike up conversation. And you know what? I didn't punch her or spit in her face. I smiled politely and looked in another direction. Then there was this queer dude who was hitting on me at McDonald's (of all places...) Again, I didn't try to kill him...I just ignored the guy and he went away. I guess what I'm trying to say is STFU and deal with it.
irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 It is a waste of my time, really, when one of those types of people, who know in real life would have no chance with me Yeah, seriously...get over yourself, I didn't say anything in your other post, but I figured it bears saying something now. This kind of spawns a possible other posts, entitled, "Women who get annoyed with men who they aren't attracted to, approaching them." Yeah, I think I might do that. lol
Sivok Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Eh, online dating is much harder for guys than in person tbh. Women respond very well to confidence, body language, humor in person - Online, none of that is apparent. It's 100% on looks, really. As such, unless the guy is a model, the average dude probably gets a 1/5 response back from a girl he messages - on a good day. It is scatter gun, because 80% of the time that girl is not going to respond back. A statistic said to be really successful with online dating as a guy, you have to message atleast 15 or so girls a day.
Author sydneysider1978 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Hmmm. By the way, I'm not asking "OMG why are these old dudes wasting my time?". I have no problem declining politely, I just don't really get why they would think it would be a good idea to contact someone when they are WAY outside the criteria stated. Wouldn't these guys have more success if they paid attention to what the lady (or man) says they are looking for?
Emilia Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Well speaking as a woman of a tricky age (38), I have no way of telling who is attracted to me. Yes older men tend to be (although a lot of them want more subservient types) but had a very young male model type (6'3'' blonde, athletic) emailing me last week and we get on like house on fire. So as long as it's not a creepy message I don't mind if the guy is not attractive and writes to me because I know he is thinking the same. If you don't ask, you don't get.
daphne Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Women generally have a better idea of who they can catch and keep. They are more quickly able to assess their "league." Men, on the other hand, aren't quite as talented at figuring this out. I have seen a lot of men that were setting themselves to get shot down, "go for it" because that's what they tell each other. It's a sort of positive reinforcement of going down with the ship, because at least you tried. I'm speaking here of men outside of the league of their target. Meanwhile, the guys who are closer in social criteria to their target get scared and dont' approach. You can't win. As for the old dudes chasing much younger girls, I think it's creepy too. I don't need a daddy.
good_vibes Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Oh, get over yourself. Waste of your time? It's not like you have to reply to them or even read their messages. When you put yourself out there, you can expect some of the messages to be from guys you don't find attractive. It's like that in real life too. I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day and this ugly creature (I hesitate to call her a girl) decided to strike up conversation. And you know what? I didn't punch her or spit in her face. I smiled politely and looked in another direction. Then there was this queer dude who was hitting on me at McDonald's (of all places...) Again, I didn't try to kill him...I just ignored the guy and he went away. I guess what I'm trying to say is STFU and deal with it. "Get over myself"? Wow, some pretty bitter people around here. Guys like to complain about why women don't answer their messages and yet, when I have to wade through a bunch of messages from people who are obviously not going to be a match for me, yes, as a busy person that is a waste of my time and yes it makes me reluctant to wade through all the emails anymore. And yes, that makes it less likely in the end for me to find someone online. And where did I say I was cussing these people out or giving them nasty remarks? I don't do that either. And I am not rude enough to not even read their messages just in case they have something valid to say, so yes at least I read to what they took the time to write. "STFU"? Excuse me? Well, at least I know the class of person I'm dealing with here. It's an internet forum, so just like the queer guy or unattractive female you claimed approached you, you can choose to look the other way when someone posts something - not even directed at you - that you don't like, or you can get violent/vile in tone. Seems to contradict what you just wrote about your own behavior.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 "STFU"? Excuse me? Well, at least I know the class of person I'm dealing with here. It's an internet forum, so just like the queer guy or unattractive female you claimed approached you, you can choose to look the other way when someone posts something - not even directed at you - that you don't like, or you can get violent/vile in tone. Seems to contradict what you just wrote about your own behavior. Violent tone? You've got to be kidding me Well I'm sorry if my STFU offended your gentle sensibilities. Allow me to rephrase myself: Dear Ms. good vibes, Would you kindly dial the entitled princess attitude down a few notches? And while you're at it, may I politely suggest not getting your panties up in bunch? This is the internet after all.
thatone Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) the princess attitude doesn't hold much water when she mentioned in another thread that she's dating the guy who was hired to hang drywall in her house, that promptly asked her for 200 dollars to get work done on his car, took money for working on her house and then didn't finish the work, and doesn't show up on time all that often because he's getting drunk/high with his 6 or 7 "friends" that all live in the same house together. her majesty wouldn't have that kind of relationship with the help, after all. the fact is none of those men on internet dating sites know what she wants because she probably wasn't honest about what she said she wanted. i doubt seriously whether she put her own face on an internet dating site with the words "i want to screw a laborer/contractor, preferably latin, no other qualifications required, broke/addicted not a problem". Edited June 8, 2011 by thatone
Feelsgoodman Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 the princess attitude doesn't hold much water when she mentioned in another thread that she's dating the guy who was hired to hang drywall in her house, that promptly asked her for 200 dollars to get work done on his car, took money for working on her house and then didn't finish the work, and doesn't show up on time all that often because he's getting drunk/high with his 6 or 7 "friends" that all live in the same house together. her majesty wouldn't have that kind of relationship with the help, after all. the fact is none of those men on internet dating sites know what she wants because she probably wasn't honest about what she said she wanted. i doubt seriously whether she put her own face on an internet dating site with the words "i want to screw a laborer/contractor, preferably latin, no other qualifications required, broke/addicted not a problem". LOL!! I remember reading that thread, though I didn't realize that Ms. "Don't Be Wasting My Time" is the same woman that's screwing the drywall guy. Too funny
good_vibes Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 the princess attitude doesn't hold much water when she mentioned in another thread that she's dating the guy who was hired to hang drywall in her house, that promptly asked her for 200 dollars to get work done on his car, took money for working on her house and then didn't finish the work, and doesn't show up on time all that often because he's getting drunk/high with his 6 or 7 "friends" that all live in the same house together. her majesty wouldn't have that kind of relationship with the help, after all. the fact is none of those men on internet dating sites know what she wants because she probably wasn't honest about what she said she wanted. i doubt seriously whether she put her own face on an internet dating site with the words "i want to screw a laborer/contractor, preferably latin, no other qualifications required, broke/addicted not a problem". Wow, like I said, bitter... yes, he asked me for the money, I don't judge people on the basis of money or not having it. I have dated plenty of rich men that were a$holes because they had money, talk about being entitled, but you would know about all that, wouldn't you? He doesn't get "high", I've seen him drink twice in 3 months, and I paid him the money originally agreed on as there were just two walls that needed to be painted. Whoo. And you think you can judge my attractiveness without even seeing a photo - like I care. Why is it that men can post they are attractive and get unwanted email by "200+ lb emo women" "ugly" "fat" etc all they want, and that's OK, but a woman posts that she is attractive and gets unwanted email by unattractive men, and she gets attacked? Must be all the bitter, unattractive men wanting to vent their rejection frustrations on others, while they hide behind their internet walls. Again, wow. Some really bitter people with too much time on their hands on this site. I doubt any of you or your personal "feel good man"'s posts helped the OP, either, so why don't you stick to the original topic, and stop wasting people's time.
primer Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 This reminds of girls that don't have a pot to pi$$ in and they wonder why they cannot find a decent man.
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