hyperpulse Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 If any of you have read my other posts you know that I've been in a serious relationship for 2 years now. It's mostly been long distance I have lived off and on with him and his family. Since I've been back home we have had a lot of problems.... most of it has been because of me and I haven't been dealing with having to come back here to be without him again. A lot has been going on and we both have issues. Last night he broke up with me and I'm so devastated. We are so close like best friends and wanted more than ever for things to work out. He decided to end it because he couldn't put up with my worries and fears anymore and it turned him away from me. Now I can't sleep or eat and I think about how I want to be with him again and make the right changes with him that I should have made a long time ago. I know I might hear from him today or maybe tomorrow and I don't know how to answer if he asks me how I've been doing... truthfully I've been so miserable and I can't even focus on my school work, but I'm still holding my chin up. I would like some advice on how to win him back because I don't want the best thing that's ever happened to me to walk away. I don't want to beg or cry about it or force him to do anything either because I know that would drive him away. I feel like he needs to find himself again and be free, but I don't want to lose him forever. We've been through so much together and he is so wonderful and unique and I love him so much!!
Nohbody Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Well, if he's broken up with you then he has walked away. Nothing you say to him is going to change his mind, and he is going to have to come to you and tell you he wants to get back together. Don't make it super easy for him, try not responding today. NC, all that.
TaraMaiden Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 yes. go total No Contact without telling him. Say nothing, do nothing, make no approaches, appeals or any form of connection at all. This will almost kill you, I know. Really, I do, I understand. But your complete silence and disappearance off his radar will be unexpected to him, and he will in all probability re-connect with you, if only to see what is going on. And this is what you will say: "You don't want to be with me any more, and that rips my heart out. I love you more than anyone I've ever loved, and I hate to be away from you. I put up so many wrong defences, and said so many wrong things, and I'm deeply ashamed. But I can't take them back. They're what made you decide to end it, and I will always regret that. I would love to have another chance, and hope you could reconsider, because I know what screwed this up, was wrong. But if you really can't find it in your heart to forgive me, then I am just going to have to come to terms with that, and in my own time. Which is why I didn't contact you. The last thing you want from an ex is harassment. I messed up once. Maybe for the last time. I can't do that to you again." and then - Shut. Up. Let him say whatever comes next. And deal with it.
Author hyperpulse Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 Thank you for your advice and opinions. We haven't spoken at all today and neither of us has tried to contact one another. But it might be for the best. I would like to hear from him soon. Last night he told me we shouldn't talk for a couple days and then maybe just talk here and there and see where it goes. He still has on his Facebook that he's in a relationship with me. I'm surprised he has kept it there. I don't know if that's a good sign or what. I am doing my best to focus on myself and I still think about him and I sure do miss him. We talk every day so today has been hard with having all of these thoughts rambling in my head. I'm staying strong. Thank you all again.
Author hyperpulse Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 I'll go check it out right now. Thanks.
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