The last straw, I give up..

[Jdw_Icequeen]

Its been a while since posting here.. I have been doing really well and feeling much better.. But I still make my mistakes.. I guess I needed confirmation. its been almost 7 months since the breakup. I no longer want him back. You can read my back posts about this but there was a girl he was txting 30 times a day and calling 5 times a day. I knew he left me to try to be with her. He swears he only was talking to her for relationship advice but whatever I knew it was bs..

 

I find out a few weeks ago he has a gf.. I left it alone didn't ask anymore questions. Obviously I knew he would eventually and we will never get back together, even if he came back to me I don't want him back.

Well I started inviting him over to see his son. He hasn't seen him in almost 4 months now, I thought we could be civil for that atleast. I can't trust him because in the past he has been into drugs, ALL of his friends are scum bags, he stays on his friends couch and he dosen't have a car..

 

So I was just trying to make things easier I don't want my son around anyone he associates with including my friends he took in the break up, which I found out some nasty things about. So he keeps saying he will be over then has an excuse to not show. I finally decided a few days ago to check his face book pic. I can't see anything but his profile picture as I am not on his facebook AND low and behold there they are together. You may ask why I decided to stab myself in the foot. But I knew it, I just knew I would see them together and after months of him making me feel crazy about how I felt about her. I needed my proof..

 

So of course I WAS ANGRY! I called ranted and raved this part ok I prob shouldn't have done. But this lil bastard has lied to me for the LAST TIME!!

So anyway, he says how unstable I am, I tell him what a douche bag he is and I was trying to work things out where he could see his son.

I just ended up asking him to sign over his rights, yes at the time I was angry. But I have been thinking about it for months. He dosen't pay child support or see him he isn't a father.. I found out he stole money from my bank card and threatend to press charges, so he finally decides to start paying me. He also owes me for other debts so he has been giving me a little money every few weeks that I have to call and chase him for and it gets annoying..

 

The next day he calls and talks to me we get into a fight because I ask him for his address so I can go after him for child support and he FLIPS OUT! Saying he is going to call Social services on me and I am a horrible mother and a terrible gf and yadda yadda.. Ok lovley.. Then says that the only reason I invited him over is because I want him back.. REALLY? MR> FRICKIN BIGHEAD! You lie to me, steal from me, your a bigger douche bag than both my past exs put together and you think I want you back.. Ok maybe because I looked at his facebook. He says he knows I have been doing it for months which is bs. I checked his fb another point in time like 4 months ago and found out some other information about him he was suppose to sell some concert tickets to pay me money he owed me for child support. INSTEAD he takes my EX bestfriend. So yes we had a spat about that.. So great now everything has been made so awkward..

He is also telling me how I should put the past in the past and how I should feel about things and how he thinks I feel about things.

 

The next day he calls apologizing.. So sorry for his harsh words, then continues to say he has a way to come over tue wen and fri.. I said uhh yea.. Look you crossed the line with me.. You've threatend me, put me down, lied to me AGAIN, you tell me you have no desire to hang out with me and on top of it all you think I want you back. You've made this whole situation completley awkward and I don't feel comfortable seeing you at this point..

 

So Mr. Smooth lips tells me he will start calling me regularly and start talking so that I can start to feel comfortable again. I ask what you want to be friends. He says no.. I laughed and said oh so your not interested in being friends he says don't jump to conclusions I assume we will eventually beable to be friends. I said no I just want to know your intentions with this calling bs, because I have NO DESIRE to be your friend. I never did I just wanted you to see your son.

 

He says alot of things I am not worried about him calling and trying to converse because he won't he is very good at saying one thing and doing another which is good because it makes him predictable..

I have been set back a bit by all this feeling a bit crappy the last few days, yes it will pass. I am starting to do some real thinking on it though.

I think it might be best at this point to go back to NC and forget about the money he owes me. Maybe I am being a complete idiot and at one point I was definetly angry enough to press charges. He has screwed me over so much. I am sick of calling him asking him about the money. He has made it obvious he dosen't really care about his son. I still want his address so I can get him for child support or for him to sign over his rights. He will not be popping up and disapearing whenever he feels like it.

 

 

Its time to stop trying I guess, I really wanted my son to have a father but its very apparent now that dosen't seem like it will ever happen. I feel very sad for our baby. But he has me and his family.

 

Do you guys think I am making a hasty decision? Or finally doing somthing that is long over due? I realize maybe not getting the rest of the money he owes me maybe stupid to alot of ppl. Like I said money isn't everything and at this point I feel cutting him completley loose from everything is the best thing for me and his son.

Edited June 7, 2011 by Jdw_Icequeen

[Jdw_Icequeen]

Sorry this post got so long.. I have been struggling with this set back for a few days and really needed a rant and I doon't ask anyone else for advice about him anymore.. Thanx to in advance to the people that take time to read this.

[0hpenelope]

:eek: Drugs? This guy doesn't sound healthy to have his son hanging around. How can he be a good dad if he can't even be a good person to himself in the first place?

 

I see someone who's finally ready to put up some serious boundaries. I'm sure that if you see honest and real changes happen within your ex, you won't keep your son away from his dad. I hope this is just temporary and honestly, putting your son first will take you to the right direction. You'll also become a good example for him, too. You didn't allow yourself to be treated as second-rate and you protected him from someone so unhealthy at the moment.

 

Good luck!!!

[Jdw_Icequeen]

He wasn't doing drugs anymore when we were together but some things have me concerned that he may be again. I hope this isn't the case. But since he has lied to me SOO many times just about anything and everything and then threatens me on top of itand the kind of people he hangs out with. I really have to question if he is right for my son. Besides the fact he left me with debts and child support he won't pay.

 

I have even tried to get him over to see his son, I am always the one trying to make the efforts. No longer trying to get him back of course but trying to get him to pay what he owes me and come spend time with his son. I felt like I was doing the right thing. Now I feel like there is more important issues then money. I am beyond fed up chasing him for money, to be a father and constantly trying to get him to stop lying to me and being shady. He has screwed me over so many times.

 

I really do hope that someday he gets his head out of his rear to smell the roses. Realizes his mistakes and the way he has treated me and his son is unacceptable. Then maybe he will step up to the plate and do the right things by us. Until then I think breaking all ties will be best. If he does get a hold of me in 2 weeks saying he has left me money western union then great! If not I will no longer call and bother him about anything. I am just so tired of the stress he leaves me with.. I am more then sure at this point he really thinks he has done nothing wrong and the only reason I am upset is because his new gf and because he truly beleives I want him back. Its sad really. Until he realizes how bad he is truly messing up everything I don't think he will ever try to fix it.. Maybe its my fault I keep picking losers. But who I really feel sorry for is my son. Thanx again with your reply its really hard for me not to feel completley guilty about no longer putting in the effort for my sons sake.

Edited June 8, 2011 by Jdw_Icequeen