lolo1234 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I've been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now. We are both in our 30s. We met on-line. It was one of those things where we just hit it off right away over the phone... in person it was even better. Just amazing chemistry. I know not to trust chemistry 100% though so I'm trying to be cautious. That being said, he is pretty gung-ho about things... he hasn't been on match since we started talking. I still have been on and am still talking to a few other guys but nothing serious or intimate. We HAVE NOT had a talk about being exclusive although he has told me that I am the only person he is interested in. I have no doubt in how he feels.... I do have doubts as to how long his feelings might last as we are still getting to know each other and I'm feeling like he's just crushing on me big time... and I feel similarly but having been in a relationship that started like this not too long ago, I know how quickly things can crash and burn. This is where my "mistake" comes in. He's a musician and in a band (just for fun). He's mentioned this show that is coming up on Weds. pretty much since we started talking. I told him I wanted to go and he sounded happy that I wanted to go although he did warn me that I might be surprised or just get a good laugh out of their show. I imagine him and his band mates just act silly and rock out... whatever, nothing that will shock me. I didn't think too much about me going to his show until I realized that his bandmates r probably his closest friends. And I am pretty much just forcing him to introduce me to these people by me just showing up. I guess because he never directly said... "hey I want you to be there." I am starting to think I made a mistake by telling him I wanted to go. Anyhow he mentioned today that he's told his bandmates about me and his family. And how he hopes thinks work out between us because he doesn't want to psyche himself out about things. He's alot like me in that I don't like telling people about who I'm seeing in case it doesn't work out. Am I overthinking things here? I just wanted to go and have a good time. LOL I by no means meant to push things a certain way. I was of course also very curious to see him in action.
thatone Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) you can't turn dating into relationships without some possibility of failure. stop trying to. you can either casually date and sleep with the ones you're physically attracted to, staying single forever, or you can try to form relationships with the ones who you think are relationship material. you told him you wanted to go to his show, he accepted your desire to meet his friends by telling his friends about you. if you back out you effectively lied to him, and he won't take it well. and the fight/argument won't be HIS fault it will be YOUR fault. think about that, if he returns your apprehension with apprehension of his own and you wind up splitting up over it, it will be YOUR fault. Edited June 7, 2011 by thatone
Author lolo1234 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 Yes Neal ... That's a good point. I think I'm just nervous. And you are right it's because things might fail. No guarantees. I made the commitment to go and I just have to do it now.
thatone Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Yes Neal ... That's a good point. I think I'm just nervous. And you are right it's because things might fail. No guarantees. I made the commitment to go and I just have to do it now. step number one in the middle ground between dating and relationship, gotta keep your promises .
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