robaday Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I was recently broken up with by email. I'd seen it coming, and in fact had tried to initiate a break up earlier-a combination of wishful thinking that things could better, cowardice and remembering the good times kept me stuck in a desperately unhappy relationship. It was by email, and was lacking in a lot of self reflection, it pinned a great deal of blame on me. I'm the first to admit, I wasn't a great guy, but had remained faithful the whole time, and only had eyes for her. I'm not doubting she loved me dearly, but being regularly accused of cheating, hacking into my emails, and checking my phone slowly pushed me away, and I grew distant and resentful. I stayed in too long - probably 2 months longer than I should have. So why does this hurt so much? She broke up with me for cheating when I hadn't, I knew it had to end, and had actually wanted it over anyway. Why do I keep wanting her to contact me, even though when I was with her I just wanted out? And is someone who breaks up with you over email even worth remaining friends with?
denisss Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 That's a tough one, being broken up over email. In the long run, the person is probably not worth making an effort to be friends with if they were unable to actually tell you they wanted to break up in person, or at least on the phone. It always hurts when a break up happens because it's such a peculiar mix of emotions, even if you saw it coming.
california15 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I don't think you should try to evaluate the decision of whether or not to be friends until you heal. Then cross that bridge when you get there. At first we want to be friends (not all, some) as soon as we're dumped because we can't bear the thought of them no longer there (believe me, thats where I am now) but I think for ourselves, our dignity, sanity, and such, we need to heal first before. We could spend all this time worrying about a friendship that may never come and not focusing on moving on. Heal first
Author robaday Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Thanks. Ive remained cordial and kept my dignity by accepting it in one brief short message. Ive had a missed call, two attempted online chats which I ignored as well as a couple of her friends attempting to chat with me online, its been 2 weeks, and Ive only made contact once accepting her decision. Its strange, Im not devastated, but I guess my ego's a little hurt, even though it was the right choice. For now, its not healthy for me to talk to her or her friends. Im sure she means well, but its not helping.
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