Sunflower Faerie Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Hi all, I'm a first time poster and I think I'm writing this down mainly to vent, but if anyone wants to comment in anyway, please feel free! I sure could use the advice!! Husband and I have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids. I worked a full time night shift job and looked after the kids all day too while hubby was at work. He did nothing at all to help me around the house, never went out anywhere except to work and spent his entire time at home either asleep or on the computer. We never had anything to talk about aside from the kids and I tried on a number of occasions to motivate him to spend some time out of the house either out with friends or at the gym, anything really to give him something to do. He never ever did any of this, and it got to the point where his friends, sick of him turning them down eventually gave up leaving him with no-one aside from me and the children. About a year ago, I told him he needed to do more to help me more as I couldn't do everything by myself and he promised he would. After a few months, nothing had changed so we had a row about it and I told him that things had to change as I was getting fed up of being a mum all day, at work all night and running the house by myself. I told him if things didn't change, then I couldn't see a way forward. A few weeks after this (with still nothing being done!) I had a miscarriage (my 5th). He was in bed while it was happening and I woke him up to tell him. His reaction was to stay in bed. He didn't comfort me at all or even check on me to see if I was ok. The next day, I told him that I'd got to the end of my rope and the marriage was over. He moved out a month ago and the effect on my oldest child has been devastating. She says every day that she misses her daddy and needs constant reassurance that I'm not going to leave too. I have been able to cope with this, but what I have found very hard is that in the month since he moved out, he has suddenly been doing all the things socially I had been encouraging him to do for years! He has joined a gym, gone out with workmates and basically got a life. What has resulted in me coming here tonight is that I discovered he had taken another woman (that he has known for about 2 weeks) out for dinner this evening!! He lied to me over the phone 3 times before he eventually admitted where he was and who he was with. I was livid at being lied to and upset that he has moved on to dating someone within a month of moving out. Tonight has really brought home to me that he clearly couldn't have cared less about keeping the marriage and his family together. Am I right to feel so angry at being lied to and him moving on so quickly or am I over reacting? Please do be honest, I can cope! Thanks for reading and I must say, I do feel better for having written it all down!!
Steen719 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I am an angry woman right now, so I may not be the best person to ask, but IMO, YES, you are right to feel so angry at being lied to and that he is moving on so quickly. I keep thinking that somehow comeuppance will come their way. Hang in there...I do think you have every right to be angry.
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