mrsjcvd Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I have caught my boyfriend secretly watching porn and he has being doing it for a long time now that I am getting really upset. I haven't said anything to him because I am too shy but I am sure he knows i know. I am already self concious with my body because of having a 6 month old baby I have put on a bit of weight and dont have the nicest looking tummy now its all stretched! Is he watching it alot because i am not attractive enough for him....or why does he do it.. I think porn is digusting and this is hurting me alot now. I have started getting really embarrassed during sex and sometimes secretly cry to myself when I dont perform well...it doenst help that he doesnt speak to me about how he is feeling or what he wants, so it scares me to talk to him about it too. I am so frustratedi wish I had said something to him about it earlier... in a way I want to cathc him watching porn again so I can confront him on the spot about it rather than bring it up out of the blue.... he's a git for making me feel like this but i'm going to have to confront him sooner or later... any thoughts....
Bateman Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I can say that it is completely normal for a guy to watch porn. It's so easy to find on the internet and I can actually recall a time during my last relationship where I just wanted to watch porn instead of have sex. That being said, I know how completely insane and disgusting it sounds. And it really is gross and unacceptable. But it's also the truth with a lot of guys. It's just an urge, but I do think you should confront him about it if it gets too bad. He probably has some fantasy that needs to be fulfilled or something. I think he is still attracted to you because you mentioned that you guys still have sex. Don't feel bad about yourself. Start working out, wear sexy, revealing clothes around him when you're in the mood. Talk to him about it. Don't come off arguing with him, just try and get some answers. Just say that you know that he does it (it will embarrass him, trust me. haha) then ask him why. I think you deserve an answer because I understand how it can make you feel insecure. He may have an addiction. Guys are pigs
Ghosst Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I have caught my boyfriend secretly watching porn and he has being doing it for a long time now that I am getting really upset. I haven't said anything to him because I am too shy but I am sure he knows i know. I am already self concious with my body because of having a 6 month old baby I have put on a bit of weight and dont have the nicest looking tummy now its all stretched! Is he watching it alot because i am not attractive enough for him....or why does he do it.. I think porn is digusting and this is hurting me alot now. I have started getting really embarrassed during sex and sometimes secretly cry to myself when I dont perform well...it doenst help that he doesnt speak to me about how he is feeling or what he wants, so it scares me to talk to him about it too. I am so frustratedi wish I had said something to him about it earlier... in a way I want to cathc him watching porn again so I can confront him on the spot about it rather than bring it up out of the blue.... he's a git for making me feel like this but i'm going to have to confront him sooner or later... any thoughts.... He probably knows that you find porn disgusting and this is why he is doing it secretly. He likely does not want to upset you. I highly doubt that he does not find you attractive. We are all more sensitive after giving birth and going through a lot with the baby at that time. Pretend you look exactly like you were before....confidence is sexy and that attitude will rock his world. Watching porn and enjoying it has more to do with the ability to enjoy your fantasies without judgment. If he knows you find porn disgusting he may have reservations of telling you what he likes, fearing you will also find his desires disgusting. If you have an open enough mind you could look at the history on the computer and look at what he is watching and then try to incorporate some of those things into your lovemaking....again this could rock his world. Unless he is a porn addict, I believe watching porn is harmless.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Why not center your focus on repairing your own outlook about your body?? As he has never stated words to the effect of his thinking your tummy was problematic, and has perhaps given you no reason for being "embarrassed during sex", you should probably devote your efforts toward repairing your own self-image. His looking at porn is so secondary to that! In addition, your own insecurities about the things you mention, could be central to his inspiration to be sneaking a look at porn behind your back. Why not seek outside help in an attempt to let yourself feel more confident about YOU, before you start worrying about your husband?
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