superchiefs Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I keep trying to initiate No Contact, but I keep finding myself sending my ex emails. I sent her an email on Friday, she responded, then I responded, then she responded. Then I cut off communication. Then yesterday, I was trying to work out a financial issue with her through her dad, but he didnt answer, so I sent her a text message, in which she responded. Then today, I sent her an email that just asked if she would forgive me for all of the times that I made her feel bad. My ex was the one that broke up with me and when she did it, she apologized multiple times and I kept telling her it was ok. But now I just keep thinking about all of the times where I wasnt nice to her over the past 5+ years and I feel really bad. What is wrong with me?
Nohbody Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 It took me a while to stop trying to contact my ex and we weren't going as long as you guys were. Cut yourself some slack, been said before, but it's true.
Author superchiefs Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 It took me a while to stop trying to contact my ex and we weren't going as long as you guys were. Cut yourself some slack, been said before, but it's true. How long did it take you to stick with no contact? My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago and so far, the longest I have gone is a little over a week.
Kilty Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 What was her response to your email asking for her forgiveness. Do you want her back and has she given any indication of a change of heart ?
Author superchiefs Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 What was her response to your email asking for her forgiveness. Do you want her back and has she given any indication of a change of heart ? She hasnt responded and no, she has not given me any indication of a change of heart. She has said that she wants to remain friends and I have repeatedly told her that I want more than that. Then she keeps on saying I go back and forth because even though I keep telling her I dont want to be her friend, I keep talking to her as if we are friends. And yes, I still find myself wanting to be with her, even though she broke my heart.
Kilty Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Well it's possible she may not reply at all and with that you have the perfect opportunity to change things and not contact her again. If she knows you still care then NC from now on is the best option. Otherwise you have to get everything out in the open definitively and once and for all tell her you have to let go and move on if there is no hope for both of you. But honestly - one thing you need to know about women - is that if you tell them being just friends isnt good enough for you and go into NC - then break it ................ well they can see right through it and nothing pisses them off more ! They have to make the first move after this or you end up looking daft Been there, done that and got the T shirt !
Author superchiefs Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Well it's possible she may not reply at all and with that you have the perfect opportunity to change things and not contact her again. If she knows you still care then NC from now on is the best option. Otherwise you have to get everything out in the open definitively and once and for all tell her you have to let go and move on if there is no hope for both of you. But honestly - one thing you need to know about women - is that if you tell them being just friends isnt good enough for you and go into NC - then break it ................ well they can see right through it and nothing pisses them off more ! They have to make the first move after this or you end up looking daft Been there, done that and got the T shirt ! I am pretty sure she knows I still care and I am going to try my hardest to not contact her again. And I have definitely been telling her I want to go NC since friendship is out of the question, but then I have been breaking it and I have noticed that it just seems to make her more and more frustrated, which I can understand. But this has all been really frustrating for me too because we basically went from being engaged to her just wanting to be friends. It seemed like it happened overnight to me, but seh said she had been thinking about it for about a month.
mogul Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I can relate to your post. Don't torture yourself over it. Best advice I can give you is go NC. Eventually it gets old. Feeling sorry for yourself, regrets, what ifs, it just all gets old. Your break up is still fresh. I suggest you go NC now. Stick to it. It is hard, but it is the best possible thing you can do for yourself. She made it clear she is done with the relationship and wants to remain friends. If you want a chance in the future, NC now is the only way to go. You get time to think things through, save your pride, and don't dig yourself a bigger hole. If she comes back, great. If not, you live life and move on. You don't want her to come back to you now because she feels sorry for you or annoyed. If you go NC and she comes back, you'll know she is genuine. That is my thought process for staying NC and remaining sane. I'm doing a lot better now and with time, you'll eventually not think about her ever day. Best of luck to you. I know the pain.
Author superchiefs Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 I can relate to your post. Don't torture yourself over it. Best advice I can give you is go NC. Eventually it gets old. Feeling sorry for yourself, regrets, what ifs, it just all gets old. Your break up is still fresh. I suggest you go NC now. Stick to it. It is hard, but it is the best possible thing you can do for yourself. She made it clear she is done with the relationship and wants to remain friends. If you want a chance in the future, NC now is the only way to go. You get time to think things through, save your pride, and don't dig yourself a bigger hole. If she comes back, great. If not, you live life and move on. You don't want her to come back to you now because she feels sorry for you or annoyed. If you go NC and she comes back, you'll know she is genuine. That is my thought process for staying NC and remaining sane. I'm doing a lot better now and with time, you'll eventually not think about her ever day. Best of luck to you. I know the pain. Yes, I think your advice is excellent. Of course, listening to good advice is one thing, but following the good advice is something entirely different. So far, I have gone 19 hours of no contact. I know when I went a little over a week of NC, the first couple of days were the toughest, so I am hoping this will be the same.
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