ascendotum Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) I agree.. it seems reasonable.. But... Talk to most 19 year old women and ask them what they think of that man in his 30's and they will go "Yuck"...or "Ewww" Talk to most 30's men and ask them what they think of that 19 year old over there and they say something different .. Just Saying... Funny but true. Good to see someone actually point out what a pedophile is. There are many women out there like newwavemary who who will chant pedo, pedo for her scenario (12yr+ gap). I agree in her scenario its not a conventional relationship and possibly not an ideal relationship depending on the maturity of the woman and the intentions of the guy, but its not pedophila. They are both concenting adults. In many countries a 13-16 is considered a concenting age and a bit over a 100 yrs ago in the US it was 12. I certainly would not approve of a 'girl' that age being in a relationship with a man, but things were different for much of history or in other countries. Edited June 6, 2011 by ascendotum
heartshaped Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Uh, in the next five years or so, that 19 year old is going to be 24. Is that too young to have children? No, not too young at all. I suppose more so what I was driving at is at 19 most women [or men] in general do not have the maturity of a 28 year old. It's two different places in life and as speaking as a woman that has been 19, I wouldn't have even considered a man that was that much older than me. Not at 19 anyways [it seems the older you get the less age gaps bother you], but there are some women that would. Odds probably not in the OP favor though.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Pedophilia is a sickness involving prepubescent children. Not sexually developed adults. If someone uses that term wrongly against you you should put him or her in their place. It's a serious accusation. FYI, there is nothing wrong with finding attractive anyone who's sexually mature. But the law had to draw a line somewhere and settled on 18. Makes sense especially now that most Americans are not emotionally mature even by then. But like they said on Seinfeld - cleavage is cleavage, it knows no age. Have your fun with younger (legal) women if you want - there's nothing wrong with it and they're enjoyable in their own individual ways. I agree that 18 should be the limit as there's only some mental maturity by that time. Girls younger than that are opt to making foolish decisions, although their bodies are ready for sex, but their minds aren't developed yet to be able to handle the fallout afterwards. Interestingly enough, 15 and 16 year old girls are legal across such places as Canada, Wyoming, Oklahoma, and a few other states, so my guess is that these girls are raised to be more mature than the rest, where they can date older men and marry them anywhere between 20 and 60 if they choose.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 a 28 dating a 19 year old? Weird but not that offbeat. A 30+ man dating a 19 year old? Now that is sick and it gets sicker the older a man is. It is disgusting to see these men in their 30's and up on online sites requesting women in their late teens to mid 20's. It's obvious these guys either have pedo fantasies (and are going the lowest they can)or think they are so terrific they can go that young. Notice when you see these guys how many have been on the site for months or years? That's because they are either striking out or just want these young girls for their sexual fantasies and dump them once they get them. This is exactly why you're so upset. Because now that you're "old" you just don't cut it any more. Well, deal with it, because our desire for a nice attractive younger woman ain't going anywhere, but you will, eventually.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I simply don't understand this. I am 28, and have no romantic experience, save for a 3 month fling when I was 20 with a much older woman (she used me, and now is apparently dating someone much younger than I was when I dated her!) The thing is, nobody got weird at our relationship (if it was in fact a relationship...I am still confused on that point.) She was 45 and dating a 20 year old...yet I'm 28, and can't date a 19 year old without it being weird? I think I have more in common with 19-24 year olds. That's the age range I usually go for. I find them the most sexually attractive (although I recently went for a 35 year old, and got shot down), and with me not being out of college yet and not having a job, it seems like I'm not suitable for the women who are my age. Can someone clarify how someone who is over the legal age of consent, and is dating someone 9 years older than them (or someone 9 years older than them wants to date them), it is suddenly considered pedophilic? I thought pedos preyed on 9 year olds, not 19 year olds (and it's not exactly preying, because I genuinely want to date them!) Considering someone as practically being a pedo for being 25+ and dating/having sex with a 19 year old seems to mainly be an American opinion. Most people in the UK don't really see it that way. Could be that people in America are a lot more religious, and they tend to still see people who are between the ages of 18 to around 21 as children.
Ross MwcFan Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 It doesn't make you a pedophile to be interested in younger women, but I do disagree with the fact you would have more in common with a nineteen year old woman. You're twenty-eight, most likely looking for a serious, committed relationship that would lead to settling down and children in probably the not too [maybe five years or so] distant future. A nineteen year old is hard pressed to give you that. He has pretty much no relationship experience. For all you know he could be just as interested or more interested in casual dating/fwb over a serious relationship. With hardly any relationship experience, in some ways, he's going to have a lot more in common with a 19 year old than someone his own age.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Considering someone as practically being a pedo for being 25+ and dating/having sex with a 19 year old seems to mainly be an American opinion. Most people in the UK don't really see it that way. Could be that people in America are a lot more religious, and they tend to still see people who are between the ages of 18 to around 21 as children. Not more religious, nope, wrong answer. Let's try, hypocritical and lazy in wanting to grow up. Yes, that hits it closer to home plate .
Enchanted Girl Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I doubt that. Men that want younger women often are too ugly and fat for younger women so instead of dating women their age they find themselves alone. I laugh at these losers. I bet you weigh 300 pounds, balding and smelly and think women who are young like older men. Nope only if they are wealthy. I know because I used to take advantage of these losers then use them and dump them. LOL! Most of the time I hate your posts, but that was funny. And I'm a younger woman as well. (Well, maybe to some shallow freaks I'm "old.") I'm twenty five. I don't get creeped out by older men liking me unless I can tell that they are just doing it for my young body.
lisal Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I don't think it's weird if you date a 19 year old. If you date girls under 18 then that is creepy.
Dust Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Men who like teenaged women aren’t considered pedophiles unless it’s by an idiot. If the girl is under the statutory age to consent to sex as Frisky said you would be a statutory rapist. A girl over 18 is legal every where in the states to my knowledge. Some people will call you a pedo for liking girls who shave. Are you going to let some people stop you from living your life? The better question for you would be why is this even bothering you? Would you seriously pass up a relationship with a girl (over 18) you were attracted to because she happened to be a few years younger then you?
Ouroboros Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 It is a facet of a culture which keeps extending childhood for one. Notice adults from 18 to 22 and sometimes a year or two higher are considered college kids with the emphasis on the kids. This is even if they go to no university or technical school. Number two, the image of the pedophile is considered an exclusively male one by many. People still can't comprehend a woman being a pedophile or sexually deviant. They can only see a male in that role.
fishtaco Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 If my memory serves me right, newwavemary is a troll right?
fishtaco Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Look who's calling who a troll? Besides, men who think younger women want them because they are older then come to this site complaining they can't find a girlfriend. Of course they can't, what woman wants a fat smelly slob? Yet they think younger women like them because they are older but I got news from them, I only liked older men who spent money on me. Once the money was gone so was I. That's what they get for trying to date below their age. You have a history here already. I remember one of the best burns I've read on LS was you getting caught red handed making up stories, and contradicted yourself. That was quite entertaining.
Author TheLawmaker Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Oh come on! I am maybe 40 pounds overweight, have long thick hair down to my shoulders, and take showers twice a day. Like every 28 year old virgin is going to be some pathetic loser who doesn't take care of himself. I also exercise regularly, and am going to join Weight Watchers. Like I said, the problem isn't my appearance. Other than maybe some people think I'm much younger than me. Every single girl that has hit on me has been somewhere in the 18-20 age bracket, because I look 18 (and 10 years younger than my age.) Then, when they find out I'm actually 28, they don't believe me or they bolt. I need to start lying about my age, since I can. I am officially 19 years old again!
Cee Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Lawmaker, if women aged 18-20 are hitting on you, there's no problem at all. Go for it and prove it for yourself whether you are compatible with 19 year old women. That's the way to be in a relationship with an age gap - stop overthinking and get in one. Sometimes I wonder if we project our own personal insecurities into this "faceless society" that is judging our actions. Truth is, people are too wrapped up in their own lives to worry about anyone else. Just go for it.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I doubt that. Men that want younger women often are too ugly and fat for younger women so instead of dating women their age they find themselves alone. I laugh at these losers. I bet you weigh 300 pounds, balding and smelly and think women who are young like older men. Nope only if they are wealthy. I know because I used to take advantage of these losers then use them and dump them. See, that's fine. I can make that trade because all I want anyway is some nice young flesh, so I don't care about her feelings. One of the reasons why after I'm done with this internship and I register with the Boards I can make all the freaking money possible to attract these lovely flowers and use them just the same, however abroad since they look far better; can't wait .
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 ArtCritic makes a very good point. And recently (2010), I was rejected by a girl that I actually took a chance on asking out. She then talked about her boyfriend, who was 35. She was 21. Somehow, it wasn't creepy to her. I suppose, to the right girl, it wouldn't be creepy. Or I'll meet someone closer to my age. Who knows? I'm looking for both personality and looks, and plenty of 20 somethings are still attractive. You should just date younger 18-19 or 14-19 if legal in your state. By saying women in theirs 20s are still attractive implies a default preference for much younger than women who are already younger than you since you're nearing your 30s. You're a guy you'll only get flack from mothers & older women most guys will look up to you and society has historically be old man/young girl.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I tend to date women who are significantly younger than me, and I've noticed that the only people who seem to have an issue with it are women who are older than my dates. The rule among many women seems to be, "It's okay to date anyone -- so long as she's older than ME!" You are right about this - an insecure woman will be jealous if she likes a guy who is dating a younger woman. She'll rationalize that he doesn't want a woman like her who is closer to his own age because there is something wrong with him or he is a pedophile, when in reality the younger woman might just have a better personality or be much better looking than the older woman.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Oh come on! I am maybe 40 pounds overweight, have long thick hair down to my shoulders, and take showers twice a day. Like every 28 year old virgin is going to be some pathetic loser who doesn't take care of himself. I also exercise regularly, and am going to join Weight Watchers. Like I said, the problem isn't my appearance. Other than maybe some people think I'm much younger than me. Every single girl that has hit on me has been somewhere in the 18-20 age bracket, because I look 18 (and 10 years younger than my age.) Then, when they find out I'm actually 28, they don't believe me or they bolt. I need to start lying about my age, since I can. I am officially 19 years old again! I find this a little difficult to believe. If those women were hitting on you and initially thought that you were around their age, why would they even ask you how old you were? Are you bringing up pop culture references that that pre-date their youth or something that causes them to question your age? Looking young is actually a good thing for you even though don't realize it now. You just need to cut your hair and lose that 40+lbs of excess body fat. In my opinion, unless you are a rock singer or a drug dealer, there is no reason for a man your age to have long hair - the long hair probably hurts you when it comes to women.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I think a lot of older women tend to view it in unhealthy terms. They can't remember what it was like when they were teenagers and an older guy was interested in them...they probably would have dated him. Now, the older man is creepy, because they're no longer young anymore. No 16 was 4 years ago. I was grossed out then & I'm grossed out now. In fact in other threads lots of women remember being grossed out. It seems like it's guys who are fixated on the fact that young women who are grossed out by older guys can't exist. Most of my teenage friends who like older guys like older guys who are fit & don't look their age. In fact the only older guys who look their age they like are celebrities. Guys should pay attention to if the girl likes older guy who look his age not just if the girl likes older guys. You seem quite fixated on youth with your Now, the older man is creepy, because they're no longer young anymore. statement. Just date young girls if you want no need to surround yourself with affirmations to feel better about yourself or try to deny there are teens grossed out by older guys whether they look their age or not. Some teens like older guys, some only like older guys that look their age, some teens like older guys who look young, some are grossed out by older guys, some are indifferent.
Chicago_Guy Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I think a lot of older women tend to view it in unhealthy terms. They can't remember what it was like when they were teenagers and an older guy was interested in them...they probably would have dated him. Now, the older man is creepy, because they're no longer young anymore. Don't listen to those women. Women don't realize how much harder dating is for the typical man than it is for the typical woman. If a 19-year-old wants you, I say go for it, although I would not categorically exclude women your own age.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 Don't listen to those women. Women don't realize how much harder dating is for the typical man than it is for the typical woman. If a 19-year-old wants you, I say go for it, although I would not categorically exclude women your own age. Finding a person you're physically attracted to & sexually compatible who you can trust is hard for everyone. Women have it easier in having options- the guys approach. That doesn't mean all the guys are quality material or even that she finds one of tge quality guys physically and sexually attractive Guys have it easier in exercising options-they're #1 feature isn't their looks girls choose on an array of things so they can build up in one area, getting older isn't a big eliminator, they can build sexual interest through other means rather than appearance, and it's much easier to seriously date/have relationships/marry girls decades younger.
smudge21 Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I've found that as I've got older I've attracted the attention of younger girls and as flattering as that is (it really can be an ego boost) I've tried to stay clear simply due to societys views on this. They weren't illegal, the youngest has been 18 ranging up to early twenties, but still a good ten years difference. The only time I've allowed anything to happen is when I've got to know the girl first and we've got along. Found out that she generally is more mature for her age and we've had things in common. Yes, it can happen - older and younger can share interests and get along. So yeah, I'd date a lot younger than myself but they'd have to chase me and there would have to be a lot more there than just looks or a sexual attraction to make me even consider it. I personally feel that if a woman in her thirties/forties can be seen with a much younger guy, then why can't a man do the same. I'm all for equality in life.
udolipixie Posted July 5, 2011 Posted July 5, 2011 I've found that as I've got older I've attracted the attention of younger girls and as flattering as that is (it really can be an ego boost) I've tried to stay clear simply due to societys views on this. They weren't illegal, the youngest has been 18 ranging up to early twenties, but still a good ten years difference. The only time I've allowed anything to happen is when I've got to know the girl first and we've got along. Found out that she generally is more mature for her age and we've had things in common. Yes, it can happen - older and younger can share interests and get along. So yeah, I'd date a lot younger than myself but they'd have to chase me and there would have to be a lot more there than just looks or a sexual attraction to make me even consider it. I personally feel that if a woman in her thirties/forties can be seen with a much younger guy, then why can't a man do the same. I'm all for equality in life. You are aware historically men have been the ones to date younger and in most marriages and relationships the guy is older? In fact the average age of couples is that the guy is 5 years older. So really men weren't ever stopped from dating a much younger guy the stigma was just from other women. Men admire guys who are with much younger women. In fact American parents have given permission for their 16 year old daughter to marry guys in their 40s/50s. so this makes no sense based on history and current trends "I personally feel that if a woman in her thirties/forties can be seen with a much younger guy, then why can't a man do the same. I'm all for equality in life" In fact the opposite was the slogan for cougars I personally feel that if a man in his thirties/forties/fifties can be seen with a much younger girl, then why can't a woman do the same. I'm all for equality in life"
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