zerovandez Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 So long story short, I was basically married to a girl for 10 years. She then found someone else and moved out with him. Then, she broke it off with him. This took place about 2 years ago. We've been doing more than just talking. She comes over to my place and we hang out and talk. Yes, we've had sexual encounters multiple times. I can feel that she loves me still and she know's I still love her. I'm over the events that lead to our breakup. At this point, I just want her back. She tells me that she needs time to be single and grow. And I totally understand her. What I don't understand is what my position is and what I should do! I saw her at a wedding this weekend and it hurt. I couldn't hold her or communicate with her as I would've liked to. And before the wedding, we hung out for 3 days straight, then a few days of no contact at all. I don't know what to make of it, what to think, but I know I feel hurt. I feel broken and feel like I'm trying to get over her everytime she's not there. Help.
Author zerovandez Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Just to add to it; I know she will be dating while she's "growing." I've come to that realization already. Am I supposed to sit back and stand by? I feel that she comes around when it's convenient for her or when she's feeling down. I am a "coach" to her to some extent. I don't feel like what she's doing is fair but I don't want to lose her again at the same time. This is all so hard for me...
TearyEyedPride Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Affairs of the heart. *sigh*. I think you should let her go and that will give her the time she needs to "grow". I see her as settling into a pattern of being friends with benefits with you, and you're allowing it. If that's all you WANT, then congrats! If not... then the situation becomes more sticky. Either you have to stand up for yourself or continue to let things be as is, but I don't think you're enjoying being used this way.
Author zerovandez Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 It's so hard to let go especially when I feel that I'm so close to getting her back. And you're right, FWB is not what I want from her at all. I've let go in the past and can recall all of the hurt I went throught and I'm afraid of having to go through that again but it looks like it's the only logical option.
california15 Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 it is hard but we've all been there and are supporting each other. Its obvious you care about her more than she cares about you and don't make someone a priority when they make you their option. (that's been said before, I know, but it helps me) you said she wants to be single and grow. your position is to let her. Let her be single. Let her grow. It doesn't mean you don't care about her. In fact, in letting her go, it shows you do care.
Author zerovandez Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 I agree. I have to let her go. I just sent her a pretty lengthy email as to how I felt and how wrong it feels. I asked that she do not initiate any contact with me. I feel so sad now and I have to restart the recovery process all over again...
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