coonsanders Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 hi i njust joined match and i was wondering if my email to these ladies needs changing or sprucing up..if i put up on here what i say can anyone here give me some advise as to what to change?i send out alot of these emails to the ladies but most do not respond so maybe i need a tweaking of what i say. thanks lenny
oaks Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 If you're prepared for some harsh criticism then go for it.
Author coonsanders Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 hi it has to be harsh?what do u think?should it be changed? lenny
oaks Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 It's the criticism of your email that might be harsh. Post an example and see...
Author coonsanders Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 hi do you know exactly what i say? "hi lenny here from bloomfield nj.i saw your profile and thought id say hi.im into classic jazz and big band.ive been to britian and italy and i loved both.do you travel? nice to meet you." thats what i say. lenny
Art_Critic Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Do you use upper and lower case letters when you write emails to women on Match ? If you don't you might want to start. Sentence structure is pretty important, so I would also put a <return> after your periods too. You also need to mention their profile in more detail other than you noticed it.. Show them you read it and ask them a question about something IN their profile. When you just say you noticed their profile what that means in real life terms is that you only looked at the picture
Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Sentence structure is pretty important, so I would also put a <return> after your periods too. NO. Putting a <return> after every sentence is very distracting and breaks up a complete paragraph into random one-sentence thoughts. That's awkward. You're the only one I know who writes that way, Art! What he needs is a space or two between the period and the next word in the next sentence, allowing a few sentences to be strung together to create complete paragraphs. You also need to mention their profile in more detail other than you noticed it.. Show them you read it and ask them a question about something IN their profile. When you just say you noticed their profile what that means in real life terms is that you only looked at the picture Yup, this is absolutely correct. I'd go a step farther and avoid simply telling them about yourself - they can get that by reading your profile. Instead, find something in their profile you like, or that you have in common, and comment on that.
Art_Critic Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 NO. Putting a <return> after every sentence is very distracting and breaks up a complete paragraph into random one-sentence thoughts. That's awkward. You're the only one I know who writes that way, Art! Yeah.. I kinda meant that maybe to break it into paragraphs. If you read his post here it is all run on even though he used periods. ... on my writing...I'm not the best person to be talking about structure.. that is true.
oaks Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 "hi lenny here from bloomfield nj.i saw your profile and thought id say hi.im into classic jazz and big band.ive been to britian and italy and i loved both.do you travel? nice to meet you." Needs better punctuation for a start, and you don't spell Britain like that. It has the feel of something generic that you could send to anyone since it's about you rather than relating to her. I don't bother with obvious phrases like "I saw your profile" because, well, duh. Your profile is the place to say that you like classic jazz etc, unless you're saying this in response to something in her profile (but that isn't clear). Her profile will probably already say if she likes travelling - that seems to be such a common thing in profiles - but you get a point for asking a question. Is that what you're sending to everyone? I'm not surprised that you don't get responses. Basically, if it looks and sounds like you could've said the same generic thing to every woman then it needs improving. You need to be talking to her, not talking about yourself, so refer to something in her profile (so that she knows you read it rather than just looked at her pictures, and so that she can see that you're interested in her as a person, and so that she can see that you share common interests with her). Taking the example of travelling - if her profile says that she likes travelling then you could try "I see that you like travelling. I've been to Britain and Italy and really enjoyed the experience. Where have you been? Next year I'm hoping to go to Timbuktu."
thatone Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) Yeah.. I kinda meant that maybe to break it into paragraphs. If you read his post here it is all run on even though he used periods. ... on my writing...I'm not the best person to be talking about structure.. that is true. i am. i must admit that's one of the reasons why i like the process of online dating. i was the kid in college who could stump the advanced grammar professor, lol. (and yeah before anyone points out the obvious, screw you guys, i'm not here to impress you all i don't even bother capitalizing words ). hi do you know exactly what i say? "hi lenny here from bloomfield nj.i saw your profile and thought id say hi.im into classic jazz and big band.ive been to britian and italy and i loved both.do you travel? nice to meet you." thats what i say. lenny that's awful. the last woman i met on okc has since deleted her profile but it was something to the effect of she is attracted to people who were multi talented, she's an artist who pays the bills refinishing and repairing antique furniture, and was looking for someone not tied down to a long hour job so that she could have someone to travel with. the one line answers at the bottom said she would be attracted to someone who could teach her things, and her "most private thing to admit" was she had no idea what men were thinking and that she wore sandals and flip flops year round, and her "what am i thinking about" was how she was gonna get a trip planned to amsterdam for her birthday. here was my email to her... Somebody who sounds like me? I was reading your profile and thought I might be reading what I would've typed, had I spent more time trying to fit life into half a webpage. In my 34 years I've gone from radio announcer, to accountant, to a network admin, to landlord, and most recently carpenter for the purposes of restoring my own house, which yes, has some interesting local history behind it. After all, how hard can it be to build doors and windows? (that was three or four years ago and it's still not finished, cest la vie) I'm not very good at sticking with careers, it seems. Life would be a lot more fun I think, if everyone could just quit their day job and hit the road... Anyways, if all of the above sounds worth hearing more about, I'll make you a deal. I can effectively teach someone how to earn money in the stock market, build windows/doors/cabinets, either learn to mimic accents from AR/TX to New Orleans or get rid of said accents if you ever find yourself earning a living in a radio studio, and/or how and why historic architecture is in every way superior to modern architecture. As an added bonus, I can tell you what men are really thinking. Message me back and you can tell me how close you are to getting to Amsterdam by your birthday, why art and artistic people are so much more interesting than all of the corporate types I spent my 20s with, and how you manage to wear flip flops when it's snowing outside here during the winter. none of the above is repeated from my profile, or at least there's slightly more detail than what's in my profile if it is. the vast majority is related to what she said in hers, as you can see. the idea is to give the impression that you read everything she had to say and actually put some effort into reading it and formulating a response to what she wrote. reveal something about yourself that's not in your profile, but nothing negative or positive really, just little facts that you didn't tell the public. asking her questions about what she wrote is good, but explain yourself a bit more. make a story out of it, or some hypothetical reasoning for why you're asking the questions. general guidelines... confident but not cocky, interested in what she had to say, ask questions about what she wrote to invite a response, not too long (half a printed page). Edited June 6, 2011 by thatone
GivenUp0083 Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 OP: It's a waste of time bro. Doesn't matter if you write the perfect email, you're going against odds BIG TIME here. Half won't even read your email, and half won't even look at your profile. Don't waste your time. You like jazz? Go to a jazz club and grab a drink, scan the bar for a single woman by herself and say hi. Maybe make conversation with a cute bartender or waitress. Then go in a few times and you become more than a random dude, but a regular. Then sack up and ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work. Online dating is so incredibly stupid and a waste of time. I did it for 2 years and I wish I had saved that time and money for something else. The women when you meet them you will find to be absolutely worthless, or even worse....things go really well at first and then you find out really how messed up they are once you get past the profile and the honeymoon stage. Those women are online for a reason, it's because the real world doesn't want them. Take that into consideration. Go out and meet women naturally, online dating absolutely sucks, you're better than that.
Jazzari Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 OP: It's a waste of time bro. Doesn't matter if you write the perfect email, you're going against odds BIG TIME here. Half won't even read your email, and half won't even look at your profile. Don't waste your time. You like jazz? Go to a jazz club and grab a drink, scan the bar for a single woman by herself and say hi. Maybe make conversation with a cute bartender or waitress. Then go in a few times and you become more than a random dude, but a regular. Then sack up and ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work. Online dating is so incredibly stupid and a waste of time. I did it for 2 years and I wish I had saved that time and money for something else. The women when you meet them you will find to be absolutely worthless, or even worse....things go really well at first and then you find out really how messed up they are once you get past the profile and the honeymoon stage. Those women are online for a reason, it's because the real world doesn't want them. Take that into consideration. Go out and meet women naturally, online dating absolutely sucks, you're better than that. I strongly disagree with your advice. Online dating can and does work. I'm sorry you didn't experience any sucess, but others have. And there are many quality people who use online dating.
GivenUp0083 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I strongly disagree with your advice. Online dating can and does work. I'm sorry you didn't experience any sucess, but others have. And there are many quality people who use online dating. Sure, the sun shines on a dogs ass every once in a while too. There may be some good people online, but OP will never get to meet them, not unless he has great pictures. Some people have to try harder and ask more girls out to get a date. That's fine, it applies to OD and RL. I'm just saying his effort is better focused on RL because odds are better and he can control his avenue of pursing more "quality" or like minded women that trying to cater to a woman on an ego trip online.
surfrider4284 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 OP: It's a waste of time bro. Doesn't matter if you write the perfect email, you're going against odds BIG TIME here. Half won't even read your email, and half won't even look at your profile. Don't waste your time. You like jazz? Go to a jazz club and grab a drink, scan the bar for a single woman by herself and say hi. Maybe make conversation with a cute bartender or waitress. Then go in a few times and you become more than a random dude, but a regular. Then sack up and ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work. Online dating is so incredibly stupid and a waste of time. I did it for 2 years and I wish I had saved that time and money for something else. The women when you meet them you will find to be absolutely worthless, or even worse....things go really well at first and then you find out really how messed up they are once you get past the profile and the honeymoon stage. Those women are online for a reason, it's because the real world doesn't want them. Take that into consideration. Go out and meet women naturally, online dating absolutely sucks, you're better than that. honestly, I think you may just be a little jaded. I signed up for match just last tuesday and have gotten over three dozen emails and winks. maybe you just need to improve your profile?
Art_Critic Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I'm guessing here givingup.. but you sound like a the glass is half empty kinda guy.. Online dating is really for the glass is half full kind of people... Online dating is and can be successful if you try to appeal to women. I myself have had many successful dating relationships that germinated from online dating.. many of those lasted 1-2 years .. I met my wife online dating and we have a 3 year old today, and I would consider myself a very normal average guy. So.. Maybe a new outlook is really what you could use...
AmericanHoney Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Givenup seems kinda bitter just saying. Givenup I see you post all over the online dating threads clearly you are bitter.
alexlakeman Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Givenup seems kinda bitter just saying. Givenup I see you post all over the online dating threads clearly you are bitter. I just noticed his screen name:lmao: ...not a negative person at all
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