carhill Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Another potential is that a compatible woman won't be 'ruined' by the actions of the other online dating men, rather she'll process their style of interest and yours and perhaps find yours attractive. Only way to know is to give it a shot. If it gets frustrating or disappointing, take a break.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I mean, I'm not saying I am a super model but I'm very pretty and athletic/fit, somewhat exotic looking with half Asian and half Eastern European descent. I get a lot of emails from Billy-Bob pot belly who can't spell, is half balding and has 5 kids in tow. That's because "Billy Bob" is the only guy who finds you "exotic". For everyone else, the whole asian fetish thing is like so 2004.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I mean, I'm not saying I am a super model but I'm very pretty and athletic/fit, somewhat exotic looking with half Asian and half Eastern European descent. I get a lot of emails from Billy-Bob pot belly who can't spell, is half balding and has 5 kids in tow. I mean online you have to be realistic as well as in real life. I know for a fact most of these guys wouldn't come up to me and ask me out if they saw me walking down the street. I think this is a big problem. I'm a good looking 25 year old man in excellent shape. I take care of my body. I have 200+lb emo chicks emailing me all the time. That never happens in real life. Here's the thing. I usually take the time to respond to those women because I only get like 2-3 messages a week. If attractive women are getting 100's of emails a day from Billy-Bob pot belly, it must be tough to pick out the good guys from the pedafiles, creepers, and plain old losers. My point. Online dating is stupid. It just doesn't work for me.
good_vibes Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 That's because "Billy Bob" is the only guy who finds you "exotic". For everyone else, the whole asian fetish thing is like so 2004. I didn't say I only get emails only from those types of men, but that I do get emails from them as well, and I don't even know why they try. Someone else posted another thread stating similar. I am not on here talking about how online dating doesn't work for me, and as I frequently get hit on by guys both online and offline... I guess Billy Bob isn't the only guy that thinks that, eh?
good_vibes Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 I think this is a big problem. I'm a good looking 25 year old man in excellent shape. I take care of my body. I have 200+lb emo chicks emailing me all the time. That never happens in real life. Here's the thing. I usually take the time to respond to those women because I only get like 2-3 messages a week. If attractive women are getting 100's of emails a day from Billy-Bob pot belly, it must be tough to pick out the good guys from the pedafiles, creepers, and plain old losers. My point. Online dating is stupid. It just doesn't work for me. It's not hard to pick out the good ones from the odd ones. Just glancing at the photo and the message with numerous typos gives it away. If you get a bunch of emails from 200+ lb emo chicks and one from Ms. Supermodel Astronaut I would bet you could pick that out pretty quickly. Everyone just needs to find the method that works the best for them. Works for some people, not for others.
oaks Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 You're just stating the obvious. No, offense, but there is no double standard here, people can do what they want on multiple sites. I can't stop people from doing that. Ok, so what's the problem and why are you complaining about it?
oaks Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Sooo basically, what I'm gathering from this is that jerkoff guys are ruining online dating for the good guys... kinda like in real life. Awesome. Now I'm screwed. Yup, that sounds about right.
irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Ok, so what's the problem and why are you complaining about it? Because some of these women wind up frustrated and ticked off about having been on these sites for so long, but refusing to date decent men that contact them. They probably get plenty of offers and emails, but have turned down all or most of them. I've actually spoken with some women that have been on these sites for a good while, and their response, "Yeah, I get emails, just haven't found anyone that strikes my interest enough for me to meet them."
oaks Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Because some of these women wind up frustrated and ticked off about having been on these sites for so long, but refusing to date decent men that contact them. They probably get plenty of offers and emails, but have turned down all or most of them. I've actually spoken with some women that have been on these sites for a good while, and their response, "Yeah, I get emails, just haven't found anyone that strikes my interest enough for me to meet them." Well, those women are too picky so you wouldn't enjoy dating them anyway. They aren't rejecting you, they're just saving you the trouble of going on a tedious date.
oaks Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 this is how i treat a girl who treats me with silence, What a nice guy you are!
Emilia Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Because some of these women wind up frustrated and ticked off about having been on these sites for so long, but refusing to date decent men that contact them. They probably get plenty of offers and emails, but have turned down all or most of them. I've actually spoken with some women that have been on these sites for a good while, and their response, "Yeah, I get emails, just haven't found anyone that strikes my interest enough for me to meet them." I wonder the same about men that are on these sites for years. If they only have one photo up I assume it is also years old, but that's beside the point. You think they would be smart enough to create a new profile a couple of times a year to avoid looking like someone left on the shelf for too long
Ladyfuzz Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 The problem i have is its so hard to find someone on those dating sites that can manage a bit more of a conversation than " hi how are you " i dont care what you look like, if you make an effort to talk to me ill reply back. Although it doesnt always work out like that, i met what i thought was the most amazing person on POF we met up and dated for 3 month, turned out they had a bit too much emotional baggage with them. Just annoys me when they expect you to do all the talking when all they keep giving you is two word answers.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 So I get this eHarmony match. She's attractive and we have just about everything in common, so I send her an email. Her profile talks about how she's a dork and how she likes Batman. So I email her and say: "Wow. You seem like the biggest dork in the world, but I like it! But honestly, I don't think we'd ever make it because we have way too much in common, we'd never have anything to fight about. Lol. So how's it going? Tell me some more about yourself. Check out my profile and get back to me." What do I get? A view of my profile and no response. Thanks, Hun.
miss_28 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 So I get this eHarmony match. She's attractive and we have just about everything in common, so I send her an email. Her profile talks about how she's a dork and how she likes Batman. So I email her and say: "Wow. You seem like the biggest dork in the world, but I like it! But honestly, I don't think we'd ever make it because we have way too much in common, we'd never have anything to fight about. Lol. So how's it going? Tell me some more about yourself. Check out my profile and get back to me." What do I get? A view of my profile and no response. Thanks, Hun. That B!tch! Who does she think she is, not being interested? A super model? Why is she on this site if it's not jump if I message her? We both love batman, can't she see it's destiny? Hate to tell you, but online dating is not a sure thing (as dating IRL is not a sure thing), maybe there was something in your profile she didn't like, or, she's already got a date or two for the week, or her cat just died, or she's having a bad day, or she doesn't like the color of your eyes or she's feeling bloated. Maybe she's intending on writing back, but can't at the moment because she's checking her profile on her work computer. Maybe she's not interested. You don't know why she's not writing you back, so don't take it so freaking personal! Online dating is not for the weak-hearted, if you get so upset about it to the point where you paint all online daters with the same brush stroke, then it's not for you and it's only gonna make you miserable. Just relax, be positive about it and don't mind when OD doesn't deliver, it only takes one positive outcome to make it worth it.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 That B!tch! Who does she think she is, not being interested? A super model? Why is she on this site if it's not jump if I message her? We both love batman, can't she see it's destiny? Hate to tell you, but online dating is not a sure thing (as dating IRL is not a sure thing), maybe there was something in your profile she didn't like, or, she's already got a date or two for the week, or her cat just died, or she's having a bad day, or she doesn't like the color of your eyes or she's feeling bloated. Maybe she's intending on writing back, but can't at the moment because she's checking her profile on her work computer. Maybe she's not interested. You don't know why she's not writing you back, so don't take it so freaking personal! Online dating is not for the weak-hearted, if you get so upset about it to the point where you paint all online daters with the same brush stroke, then it's not for you and it's only gonna make you miserable. Just relax, be positive about it and don't mind when OD doesn't deliver, it only takes one positive outcome to make it worth it. The point I was trying to make is that I put effort into my emails. I'm not sending "hey, sexy, you look good in that pic" to these women. I'm reading their profile and picking things out to talk about. Still not getting responses. Maybe I'm not as attractive as I thought, or as I've been told? Maybe I've gotten uglier? Oh, no. Or maybe women put up a profile and expect Brad Pitt to come along. Instead, they got dozens of stupid messages each and everyday. So they grow tired of the online dating thing and mix every guy into the loser category. I want my money back. Lol.
irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 Just go to conventions, plenty of women dressed as "Poison Ivy" and "Catwoman" Get their numbers and go from there. So I get this eHarmony match. She's attractive and we have just about everything in common, so I send her an email. Her profile talks about how she's a dork and how she likes Batman. So I email her and say: "Wow. You seem like the biggest dork in the world, but I like it! But honestly, I don't think we'd ever make it because we have way too much in common, we'd never have anything to fight about. Lol. So how's it going? Tell me some more about yourself. Check out my profile and get back to me." What do I get? A view of my profile and no response. Thanks, Hun.
bac Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 As for the point of online dating from female's point of view, IMO it is for a girl to figure out that there is no right/or half-right person for her either online or IRL. Then, she might want to accept the reality and settle with the first wrong guy who comes along. Some people have to choose between being alone and being with the wrong person. IMO if a woman really believes that there is no right man for her, she can be fine with settling with the wrong guy. Therefore, if she can get rid of the false belief of the possibility to find the right man, she can be happy with a guy who she does not like at all and have nothing in common.
GivenUp0083 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 As for the point of online dating from female's point of view, IMO it is for a girl to figure out that there is no right/or half-right person for her either online or IRL. Then, she might want to accept the reality and settle with the first wrong guy who comes along. Some people have to choose between being alone and being with the wrong person. IMO if a woman really believes that there is no right man for her, she can be fine with settling with the wrong guy. Therefore, if she can get rid of the false belief of the possibility to find the right man, she can be happy with a guy who she does not like at all and have nothing in common. More like, women tend to "temporarily" settle for the wrong guy, so that they don't have to be alone at weddings and valentine's days....THEN they can drop him as soon as the RIGHT guy comes along. If you don't believe me, check out the breaking up forum on here, stories of men left stranded and found out their ex had another guy lined up even before they broke it off with them. Happens all......the......time.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 More like, women tend to "temporarily" settle for the wrong guy, so that they don't have to be alone at weddings and valentine's days....THEN they can drop him as soon as the RIGHT guy comes along. If you don't believe me, check out the breaking up forum on here, stories of men left stranded and found out their ex had another guy lined up even before they broke it off with them. Happens all......the......time. Haha. Happened to me. My ex dumped me 9 months ago and within 2-3 weeks she was serious enough with a guy to be talking about marriage. I found out they had been "talking" for about 3-4 months prior to her dumping me. Bitch. I'm clearly not ready for the dating games yet. I'm getting way too aggravated... Though, the hardest part for me is that eHarmony seemed promising. I've only pulled 2 dates off that site in over 4 months.
Arikel Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 (edited) So I get this eHarmony match. She's attractive and we have just about everything in common, so I send her an email. Her profile talks about how she's a dork and how she likes Batman. So I email her and say: "Wow. You seem like the biggest dork in the world, but I like it! But honestly, I don't think we'd ever make it because we have way too much in common, we'd never have anything to fight about. Lol. So how's it going? Tell me some more about yourself. Check out my profile and get back to me." What do I get? A view of my profile and no response. Thanks, Hun. Frankly (to me anyway) your mail was just a flowery version of "wow I think you're perfect for me, you're just my type. Hit me up". You didn't talk about yourself, nothing personal of yourself in the email, offered nothing to her about why you were compatible. You could have at least talked about batman or how you were waiting for the next movie or how great the last movie was.... It doesn't matter what your profile says either (a good one is definitely a plus tho) but a profile is a one off big effort. An intro email is the effort you put into that first contact. Also don't put too much faith in the whole "matching" system. I get the feeling ppl just tick any activity they are remotely interested in or heard. So everyone has a high chance of having a 99% interest/personality match You can't go to a girl irl n be like "what's up hottie, we are so compatible. Here's my resume. Hit me up". Honestly, you want something, you gotta give something first. Also, demanding someone reply AT ONCE is just desperate. She could have been at work or doing a quick check on the phone for all you know. If you did a good job, let her reply when she's able. If you're really interested, send a little follow up email (pleasant one!) in a few days But if you've done all that.. Eh join a club or just go out... Online dating isn't for all single males or females Edited June 8, 2011 by Arikel Edit
miss_28 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Haha. Happened to me. My ex dumped me 9 months ago and within 2-3 weeks she was serious enough with a guy to be talking about marriage. I found out they had been "talking" for about 3-4 months prior to her dumping me. Bitch. I'm clearly not ready for the dating games yet. I'm getting way too aggravated... Though, the hardest part for me is that eHarmony seemed promising. I've only pulled 2 dates off that site in over 4 months. Yeah, you sound aggravated... it's understandable though! But pulling in 2 dates after 4 months isn't that bad, seems about average (from what my friends on eharmony tell me.) Anyways, my two cents is take a break for OD, and go back to it when you're in a better place, maybe you'll get better results. I do that... I try POF for a couple of months, go on some dates that are either good or bad, and when it becomes aggravating or feels like too much work for too small a payoff, I take a break - it's common for people to do that.
Emilia Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 IMO if a woman really believes that there is no right man for her, she can be fine with settling with the wrong guy. Therefore, if she can get rid of the false belief of the possibility to find the right man, she can be happy with a guy who she does not like at all and have nothing in common. speaking from experience, it's not true. there is a reason why someone isn't right for you, even if you never meet the right person, a man who is a bad match will make you unhappy no matter what
Jazzari Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Online dating (Match) worked for me and I was really happy with my experience. I was online for 3 months but only physically met one man. There were lots of great guys but I was extremely picky and quite frankly very nervous about reentering the dating scene. So I didn't date but waited until I found someone who I thought was perfect. Turned out he was. We've been together for 6 months and things are going well. We recently exchanged "I love you" and are spending more and more time together. So online dating can work.
Ouroboros Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Online dating (Match) worked for me and I was really happy with my experience. I was online for 3 months but only physically met one man. There were lots of great guys but I was extremely picky and quite frankly very nervous about reentering the dating scene. So I didn't date but waited until I found someone who I thought was perfect. Turned out he was. We've been together for 6 months and things are going well. We recently exchanged "I love you" and are spending more and more time together. So online dating can work. If you have the devil's luck then you too can excel at online dating.
GivenUp0083 Posted June 9, 2011 Posted June 9, 2011 Online dating (Match) worked for me and I was really happy with my experience. I was online for 3 months but only physically met one man. There were lots of great guys but I was extremely picky and quite frankly very nervous about reentering the dating scene. So I didn't date but waited until I found someone who I thought was perfect. Turned out he was. We've been together for 6 months and things are going well. We recently exchanged "I love you" and are spending more and more time together. So online dating can work. You're a woman though, we've already established that online dating works very well in favor of women.
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