Ouroboros Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 You spend too much time on a dating site you'll concede all of your realistic expectations for far less.
oaks Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 You bring up good points. Let me add a few to make things less gender biased: I like that. Poor Jane. Online dating can generate dates for some people. I have 3 this week (a first date and 2 second dates), and I don't exactly look like Brad Pitt (or whoever is in fashion this week). I'm in my late 30s, and the dates are with women ranging from late 20s to early 40s. Maybe, as TheLawmaker says, some people just get lucky.
oaks Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 The absolute best part of online dating when you're a guy is that moment when you realize you've already messaged every woman in the area you're even remotely attracted to and now your only choices are to completely redefine what you're after, lower your standards to below any sort of attraction whatsoever, or give up. This happened to me on OKCupid. I did a search for what I was looking for, and over a period of time either hid their profile if I didn't like them or messaged them if I did (and then hid their profile about a week later when they didn't reply). My search area includes London so there are lots of women in the area... but eventually there were no search results left! I didn't lower my standards at that point, I just signed up on a different site (PoF). After a while there were new people on OKC, and I haven't run out of people on PoF to try and talk to either. (I wish PoF had a feature to allow me to hide profiles in the same way as OKC.) So, instead of giving up, try a different site or just take a few weeks off from dating and see what new women sign up.
SxB Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) "WTF is the point of Online Dating?" There is no point in it for some people, some points in it for others, it depends on the individual. You sound like some one who just belongs dating in person, just like with anything else- if something isn't working out, then try a new way. You decide. "Are people just creating profiles for the fun of it?" A persons Online profile is fake. Just go after the looks as you would in person, then talk with them to see if you both get a long and she treats you well. "I'm looking for a girlfriend" That's just as bad as looking for a wife. Just look for some one to date, after you date them for a while THEN bring the word girlfriend into play, and ask yourself if she's some one you want to get serious with. Have fun, that's what dating is really suppose to be about, don't make this into a "task" where it's "frustrating work". Try this: Put on a smile, think about all the things you enjoy about dating a Woman you like, look forward to it, know everything is all RISK, stop taking things too seriously, leave meeting a Woman you connect with right now as a mystery you can care less about, and start to enjoy all aspects of dating. "Hahaha. Wow, you're an idiot. And women can sense that I'm shallow before they meet me? Why would I want anything to do with a desperate woman who puts up fake/old pictures? Just because they lied... I'm the shallow one?" Being shallow can be a good thing, don't listen to the fleas. Something else to add: You seem bothered by rejection, work on that, and don't go down the route of trying to be Joe popular...if you do then expect to feel disappointed and hurt over rejection, big time. Edited June 7, 2011 by SxB "Something else to add:"
mr.dream merchant Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 i just got banned, from ok cupid for the 3 time, all the time, i spam my blog bosspickup.blogspot.com and in this last time, i told all of them were whores and that they should read my profile. first problem of these online girls is that they are not active like man, they are lazy, and the fact that so many man hit on them makes them give man low value. i really start to think that woman, cannot deal with any sort of power, specially sex power. i mean, look how bitchy they act? if a girl ignore me out in the street my god, shes gonna regret it so hard!!! she probably never gonna go out again an i might start doing this during day time, and then what are they gonna do? Start living inside their house without going out for school or a cofee? I really believe that pick up, is not enout, i wanna be a pick up artist who teachs them brutally how not to be an *******,i mean ive been doing this naturally for my whole life. and my biggest enemy right now, its silence, i didnt catch like 20 girls in europe because i always get their number and then, silence came. i will teach u guys whats the best way to act against silence wich will give you a hell lot of self estem, and sometimes the girl will confront you, and you might even catch them, so anyway you will at least have fun, and the self esteem of teaching a girl a good lesson. act agressive every time a girl respond you with silence loose their respect, and tell them clearily i am doing this because you are remaining in silence!!! what do you think, in brazil if a thief or a robber starts to use his devine right to remain in silence, fist he will get slap then he will get punch, then he will get kicked, once hes bleeding he will do anything the police wants, and will tell them anything. woman still acting like animal, and we need to teach them by negative feedback, once a woman treats you badly, you should just teach her, hey bitch im the boss, you have the right to choose but never ever treat me bad!!! and dont choose too mutch, bitch BAN 3 TIMES FROM OKCUPID, i swear if i was a hacker i would put that website down, and write there, all okcupid girls are whores anyway, if you are a girl, and you consider yourself diferent from that, you wont get offended at all!! :lmao::lmao::lmao:
bac Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Hahaha. Wow, you're an idiot. And women can sense that I'm shallow before they meet me? Why would I want anything to do with a desperate woman who puts up fake/old pictures? Just because they lied... I'm the shallow one? Perhaps, I am an idiot to you. BTW I am a woman with some experience of online dating. Like some other women online, I get messeges and I feel that all the men so hopelessly wrong. Sometimes, I do check the wrong men out IRL, but they all still very wrong. I can sense that a guy is shallow from his first emails. Typically, the first meeting just confirms that woman's gut feeling was right. The first emails say to a woman a lot about you, your attitude and personality, especially if the emails are very short and impersonal. And, if a woman does not care to get to know who you are and she is ready to meet you right away, it means she is desperate to meet anyone.
irc333 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 From a woman's perspective, I have, and have also heard from other women, that you get inundated with replies from men so it's impossible to reply to all. Yeah, I am starting to see disclaimers on women's profile stating that "If I don't reply to you, then I probably wasn't interested" Soem to the point of saying, "If I didn't reply, I wasn't interested, so PLEASE to keep sending me emails again!" Some actually end their profiles with, "Good luck!" As if they were a lottery to be won. LOL!
irc333 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 The absolute best part of online dating when you're a guy is that moment when you realize you've already messaged every woman in the area you're even remotely attracted to and now your only choices are to completely redefine what you're after, lower your standards to below any sort of attraction whatsoever, or give up. VERY good point Not to mention, I keep seeing the SAME women on MULTIPLE Dating sites across the board. Be it POF, Match.com, OK cupid and so on. THere is actually a FINITE amount of woman I discovered Some women give up and disappear, only to RE-appear months later under a diff. screen name. Some are on there chronically single....some actually start to ADD updates (or blog) about how they've not been able to meet decent men in their area. Funny, I emailed these very women that whine about how they can't find a "decent guy" of course , they ignored me. I've been known, after I see them RE-appear again, to make another attempt at sending them an email that I did a year or several months ago......email them as if I never emailed them before....thinking that they MAY have changed their unrealstic criteria....nope, they prefer to stay chronically single. There was one seriously frustrated women that had a large "Do not email me IF...." list "If you don't live local to my city" "If you have missing teeth" "Are holding up a dead fish or enjoy Mudding and NASCAR" " Don't have a High School Diploma" I sent her an email saying that she pretty much eliminated her entire home town population. I do say though, that she was pretty by her local standards. Yes, there are some educated single people in small towns, however, they're irritated with the "class" of people living near them. Personally, I would tell them to just relocate or change their standards. Otherwise, just leave the site and never come back and stop whining about how you can't meet anyone that has all their teeth. lol
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 The absolute best part of online dating when you're a guy is that moment when you realize you've already messaged every woman in the area you're even remotely attracted to and now your only choices are to completely redefine what you're after, lower your standards to below any sort of attraction whatsoever, or give up. All the hot chicks have already read my messages and looked at my profile, I've been denied. So now I'm forced to chase after regular looking women with kids. Ouch.
Sanman Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Yes, online dating can work. It has worked for me. However, I am an ethnic minority and it has mostly worked for meeting women of the same/similar ethnicity. I rarely get responses from women outside my ethnic background. However, I have no problem getting dates from these women at bars and such. Admittedly, several women have told me I look better IRL than in my photos. The thing is that online dating is a skill just like any other. If you have a flare for writing, you will get many more dates. Same thing with a guy at a bar who can talk his way into a date. There are definitely chronically single women on there that are not worth contacting. I have met several of them and despite being attractive and seemingly nice, they have ridiculous standards or are attracted to the wrong type. I have met a few recent first time online daters as well that have let me know that I am the only decent guy they met from online, but neither seemed particularly serious and they seem to go back to online dating every time they don't get any attention IRL. That said, I have waded through the masses and would a few worthy of relationships. I do think though that dating sites for minorities or specific groups (think J-Date) work better than the behemoths like Match, OKC, and POF because those people may be looking for something specific that they cannot find IRL rather than dating around forever looking for something they may not even be sure exists.
denisss Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 It can be a bit hit and miss, but I'm really keen on online dating and I recommend to anyone.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 It just seems like I'm getting rejected by women who are less attractive than me lol.
irc333 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 There are definitely chronically single women on there that are not worth contacting. I have met several of them and despite being attractive and seemingly nice, they have ridiculous standards or are attracted to the wrong type. Yeah, some just prefer the thrill of the chase. A Female friend of mine was getting her nails done, when her online date texted her saying "He couldn't make up, something came up" She got ticked off....later she saw him ONLINE...yes, this website "tattles" on people....indicating if they are indeed signed on. He preferred being on the DATING site on a Sat night than out with her. She deleted her profile after that. LOL
GivenUp0083 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Don't say all guys because I was asked out on a 3rd date from someone I met online today but I had to work late. You have to find the right dating service So what? I've been on plenty of dates too. Play the numbers enough, you will get some dates once in a while. I've even had as many as 3 first dates in a week. Still doesn't change the fact it sucks. For every woman who succeeded in OD, theres a guy there who did as well Yeah maybe there are more guys than girls out there (I don't know though, I used to check out profiles of women in my area, and there were many people I think were better looking/interesting profile/active). There are a lot of people who just cannot write a good profile though, even if theyre the best people IRL. Maybe just give someone whose profile is just average a shot, you never know. P.S: Hope you posted a good pic of yourself. Some guys pics I've seen are just repulsive even when the person isn't actually. You may think you're being funny, but women dont have that same sense of humour Succeeded how? Found someone to date for a few months? What does it matter if you aren't meant for each other simply because he fit her ridiculous criteria and he lowered his standards to be with her? I don't call that a success. and like PhillyDude says, use the right dating service. Don't use a free site. Too many weirdos just messing around. I personally have more respect for someone who's willing to pay for a subscription because it shows they are serious. If you can't afford 20 bucks, yikes. I've used match and okcupid, they're the same, just one you don't have to pay for. Match just doesn't let everyone respond, only those who paid, so you'll end up emailing women who can't respond if they wanted to, further proving my point of it being a waste of time. Also, keep in mind of the economic climate. I don't think it's fair for you to judge anyone's financial position at this time. Define succeed. Exactly
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 and eHarmony is a joke. I spent over a hundred bucks on a subscription there because I saw the commercials and figured they knew what they were doing with their personality test. WRONG! I'd have to say 99% of my matches were women I wouldn't want anyone to hang out with. Desperate, fat, ugly, pathetic, losers. Sad, but true. And the 1% I was interested in? Maybe 10 of them responded. 2 turned into dates. Online dating is a joke.
good_vibes Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I mean, I'm not saying I am a super model but I'm very pretty and athletic/fit, somewhat exotic looking with half Asian and half Eastern European descent. I get a lot of emails from Billy-Bob pot belly who can't spell, is half balding and has 5 kids in tow. I mean online you have to be realistic as well as in real life. I know for a fact most of these guys wouldn't come up to me and ask me out if they saw me walking down the street. I also think online should be just one tool people use to meet others. For example, I belong to sports clubs, sometimes I work at a cafe or bookstore instead of at home, run with my dog in places I'm more likely to meet others. That way if you don't get that many responses online, it doesn't matter as much. If you do, fine, it just enhances what you're already doing.
irc333 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I'm half-bald.....but..never know until you try, right?
Red Arremer Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I don't because personally, I have such a hard time approaching women in real life that I literally never do it. Every single offline date I've ever been on, the woman asked me out, not the other way around.
carhill Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 If you lined up all the women I've met in real life and pursued along with the ones I've met online and pursued, including the one I married, you wouldn't be able to tell one group from another. Online is just an expedient method to meet ostensibly single people. I even dabbled in 'international dating' more than a decade ago and the ladies I met, interacted with and even had more intimate encounters with would fit right into that group. Personally, I think too many people have been influenced by society, media and online 'culture' and that's why online dating seems to have the reputation it does. It didn't used to, and I've used it since it began. When I encounter ladies in all realms who assert their individuality, I pay attention. The venue is irrelevant.
D-Lish Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Not to mention, I keep seeing the SAME women on MULTIPLE Dating sites across the board. Be it POF, Match.com, OK cupid and so on. THere is actually a FINITE amount of woman I discovered In order for you to keep seeing the same women across all these sites, YOU have to be registered on multiple sites as well! Online dating can be frustrating. From a woman's perspective, you get inundated with mail on a daily basis. You can't possibly respond to every guy that messages you with an "I'm not interested" message- it's not realistic to do so.
GivenUp0083 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) Ok I just have to ask how many guys email women they would realistically approach in real life though. I mean, I'm not saying I am a super model but I'm very pretty and athletic/fit, somewhat exotic looking with half Asian and half Eastern European descent. I get a lot of emails from Billy-Bob pot belly who can't spell, is half balding and has 5 kids in tow. I mean online you have to be realistic as well as in real life. I know for a fact most of these guys wouldn't come up to me and ask me out if they saw me walking down the street. I also think online should be just one tool people use to meet others. For example, I belong to sports clubs, sometimes I work at a cafe or bookstore instead of at home, run with my dog in places I'm more likely to meet others. That way if you don't get that many responses online, it doesn't matter as much. If you do, fine, it just enhances what you're already doing. And I get emails from 300 lb women who live 50 miles outside the city and are 19 years old, using their high school senior photo as their profile picture....but I hardly consider them emailing me to be the equivalent of reaching out to women who are close in age, my height or shorter, similar education and career levels, within 10 miles of me, and who are average to attractive on physical looks. I actually don't even both emailing some women I find "very attractive" because I know it's worthless, and I've been surprised many times at how attractive someone was in person vs their photos, and I'm not picky on looks. I tend to find someone more attractive after getting to know them as a person, then they end up becoming more and more physically attractive....but if you weight 100 lbs more than me then it just won't work. I also only email women who actually have something to say, I get really annoyed with the cliche slogans like "I live life to the fullest" and "I'm up for just about anything". I look for individual interests and traits, I look for humor and intelligence, and I search for common interests. This has all done me zero favors. Only when I lowered my standards or went after women I probably didn't have anything in common with did I get responses, but what's the point of that? Not going back. Online Dating = Stupid. Edited June 7, 2011 by GivenUp0083
oaks Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Not to mention, I keep seeing the SAME women on MULTIPLE Dating sites across the board. Be it POF, Match.com, OK cupid and so on. But you're on multiple sites (or you wouldn't see this), so isn't this some sort of unfair double standard? Why can't the girls be on multiple sites, too?
irc333 Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 But you're on multiple sites (or you wouldn't see this), so isn't this some sort of unfair double standard? Why can't the girls be on multiple sites, too? You're just stating the obvious. No, offense, but there is no double standard here, people can do what they want on multiple sites. I can't stop people from doing that.
Author mmiller5373 Posted June 8, 2011 Author Posted June 8, 2011 Sooo basically, what I'm gathering from this is that jerkoff guys are ruining online dating for the good guys... kinda like in real life. Awesome. Now I'm screwed.
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