Mickey1 Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We started out in the same hometown for the first 2 years but during the recent year he has moved to another part of the country to finish up his MBA studies. Although we have been together for 3 years, we keep on running into the same problems. For one, one of my biggest concern is his relationship with my parents (which links to many other problems such as not being able to travel with him alone etc. ) My parents are very traditional, they want to know him especially since we have been together for 3 years now. However, my boyfriend refuses to make the make amends. Whenever he comes back to visit (usually for 2 weeks) he does not want anything to do with my family. He refuses to come in my house or even ring my door bell when he comes and pick me up (on rare occasions, he doesn't like to drive me.) The pressure of being stuck between my parents and my boyfriend is suffocating me. I have confronted him about this, and I really want boyfriend and family to get along. But every time I talk about this his response is always the same: They are your family. You need to deal with it, it is not my problem. He feels if my parents want to know him, they should make the effort to know him instead, not him. There are problems I can deal with myself, but this is one of them I can't do it alone but he doesn't seem to understand. What should I do? I can't be stuck in this situation forever. Please help!
welikeincrowds Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Was there some kind of altercation between them or something? I don't understand the problem.
Author Mickey1 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Yes there was because my boyfriend didn't used to treat me very well and we broke up once and my family knew about it. But now we are back together my parents want to know him on a more personal level.
heartshaped Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 sounds like he hasn't changed all that much. I have to agree with that. It sounds like you are close to your family and this man isn't respecting that or owning his actions. No parent is going to like someone who doesn't treat their child well. If he was truly apologetic for how he has treated you in the past, he would go to them and apologize and try to make amends. Instead, he's trying to make this like it's your parents' fault. Has he ever apologized to you for the way he has treated you? He sounds like a bit of a jerk to be honest.
utterer of lies Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 But every time I talk about this his response is always the same: They are your family. You need to deal with it, it is not my problem. He feels if my parents want to know him, they should make the effort to know him instead, not him. If he would see more in you than just a temporary distraction and sex, he would make the effort to get to know your folks. Since he doesn't, it's pretty clear he doesn't see a future for the both of you.
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