almostsingle Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 My wife and I are divorcing, but we are considering reconciling. We have both hurt each other many times throughout our marriage. Some things I have already forgiven her for, I probably will never forget them but I do forgive her for them. Infidelity being one of the things that I have forgiven her for. That was actually fairly easy, because I also cheated. There are quite a few other things that she has either taken the necessary steps to undo them, or make up for them, those I can forgive as well. In the beginning of the divorce she tried to file a restraining order against me. Her story was full of inconsistencies and contradictions. Her claim was based on things that she imagined I may do, not things I have done. I do need to mention that I have NEVER laid a hand on her in anger. But if either one of us had reason to request a RO it would have been me, based on actions of hers in the past. The judge denied her original petition, and scheduled a hearing. I went to court, with a lawyer who cost more money than I had to spend, and the judge tore her story apart, and denied the RO. She has apologized many times for doing this, but I feel that this is one of those things where "I'm sorry just won't cut it. I would love to just let this go, but I'm not sure if I can. I also have to be concerned with protecting myself in the future from such claims if the marriage were to go south again. Am I crazy for even considering taking back a woman who could even make such claims against me? Is this something that I should try to get past?
i made a mess Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 My wife and I are divorcing, but we are considering reconciling. We have both hurt each other many times throughout our marriage. Some things I have already forgiven her for, I probably will never forget them but I do forgive her for them. Infidelity being one of the things that I have forgiven her for. That was actually fairly easy, because I also cheated. There are quite a few other things that she has either taken the necessary steps to undo them, or make up for them, those I can forgive as well. In the beginning of the divorce she tried to file a restraining order against me. Her story was full of inconsistencies and contradictions. Her claim was based on things that she imagined I may do, not things I have done. I do need to mention that I have NEVER laid a hand on her in anger. But if either one of us had reason to request a RO it would have been me, based on actions of hers in the past. The judge denied her original petition, and scheduled a hearing. I went to court, with a lawyer who cost more money than I had to spend, and the judge tore her story apart, and denied the RO. She has apologized many times for doing this, but I feel that this is one of those things where "I'm sorry just won't cut it. I would love to just let this go, but I'm not sure if I can. I also have to be concerned with protecting myself in the future from such claims if the marriage were to go south again. Am I crazy for even considering taking back a woman who could even make such claims against me? Is this something that I should try to get past? I do not think you are crazy at all. You clearly love the woman. I think that it would take a lot of work to get it back into a healthy state again though, so you would have to make a commitment to sticking it out if you wanted to see the end result, as would she. Probably marriage counseling and individual counseling for the both of you would be best if you truly aren't ready to throw in the towel. Best of luck!
pilotDXB Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 What were her motives for filing the restraining order - not only did the false claims embarass you, cause undue stress, it also cost you a lot of money. She will do it again. Move on.
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