suckered Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Me and my boyfriend started having sex recently. I am worried that he may not be attracted to me. I don't have much sexual experience (only had one previous partner and we only did it a few times). 1st time I slept over was actually great. We kissed for a bout 10 mins followed by 4-5 mins of intercourse. He was ready to go in about 15 minutes after that and we did it again and he finished within 4-5 minutes (so twice in an hour). That morning, we kissed for an hour and I gave him a hand job that lasted 15 minutes but he managed to come. All in all, it was great and was expecting it to continue like that. 2nd time I slept over (a week later) we did it in the evening. It was a bit awkward as he couldn't get it in doggy style and lost erection but managed to get it back 15 minutes later and he finished in the missionary position. That morning, we attempted again, I gave him a blow job for 15 minutes and he didn't cum. We were both late for work so left it at that. 3rd I slept over, we had a really long make out session, for over an hour and then we had missionary intercourse that lasted 5 mins. That was it. He didn't attempt any more sex. We kissed in the morning but he didn't escalate further. 4th time, our make out session was 2 HOURS, together with lots of dry humping, him sucking on my breasts and similar. He was periodically very hard and periodically went softer during the 2 hours. When we took our pants off and he went to get a condom he was only semi-hard and had to "jerk himself off" for a few secs to get fully hard. We again did missionary and this time he came in 3 minutes. He didn't try again in the morning, although we kissed a lot. ------------------------------- I think that our first night was the best and there was a steady decline after that. I worry that he is just not that attracted to me. Why does he need 1-2 hour make outs to even get to the intercourse? And why is he not attempting sex in the mornings anymore? I even initiated last time and he rolled me off after some kissing. I am cool if he is just inexperienced or similar but do you think it's the lack of attraction problem? All other aspects of relationship are great and if anything have gotten better since the first time we had sex. The nagging worry that he may not be that attracted won't leave me
Author suckered Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 I especially want to hear from men: Why would you make out with a girl for 1-2 hours before the intercourse? Does this mean that you are not that into her and need all that time to even get aroused?
Author suckered Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Is he still flirting with your GF? no that has been resolved....
carhill Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 While you await a more complex answer, I'll give you a simple male answer. Men are simple creatures. If we like a woman, we like to spend time with her and have sex with her. We don't do that every minute of every day but we feel this consistent draw to be with her. That 'draw' is 'attraction'. I'd suggest analyzing less and enjoying more. Life is to be enjoyed. You can analyze when you get to be old like me.
Author suckered Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 When we are together, he is always touching me and kissing me, my hands, my hair, my face etc... I guess he wouldn't do that if he isn't attracted.
carhill Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Another aspect is how he listens to you, how he remembers important aspects of your life and how he relates to you when not having sex, including non-sexual physical affection. Not all physical affection must lead to sex, but rather can just be the wonderful bonding experience two humans can have. Accept the real and enjoy it.
youaretheone Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 You are saying that he lost his erection for the second time. He might be getting nervous and performance anxiety. It is a big problem for a man and everyone goes through it, including me. I am having it with my current girlfriend now and it is a vicious cycle. Once you have it with a girl, your mind tricks you into the idea that it will happen again. Maybe this is what is making him to cut things short or take more time with foreplay? Maybe he becomes nervous and afraid that he is not satisfying you enough in bed? Instead of assuming he is losing interest, I recommend you to be patient or even talk to him about it. It is a big confidence issue for men and it might take some time for him to open up to you about it. But it is the best solution. I did and it helped a lot. If he is having it and opens up to you, be understanding and helpful. That will help him a lot.
Nexus One Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 I especially want to hear from men: Why would you make out with a girl for 1-2 hours before the intercourse? Because men need intimacy too, not just the sex part. The fact that he makes out with you that long is probably a good sign. Does this mean that you are not that into her and need all that time to even get aroused? No. Furthermore, to give a response to your story. The things you are analyzing don't have to mean anything in terms of his attraction to you.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I don't think you have enough data to get so up-in-your-head about all of this. When you can still remember the play-by-play of every time you've been together, then you're analyzing something aside from your general feelings for one another. Give it time.
Recommended Posts