M22 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 My live-in GF of 3.5 years broke up with me about 1.5 months ago. I know exactly why: she wanted marriage, I did too, but just never pulled the trigger. Our relationship was wonderful, no abuse, no cheating, a truly loving relationship. About 6 months ago, it did begin to become a little stagnant, but I assumed that was because of changing work schedules, and a near death medical emergency with one of my family members. After she left, at first, there was email and texting communication. She kept telling me that this was a result of me making my choices (not proposing), and that she needs to pursue something that she wants in her life (marriage & kids). After having close to NC for 3-4 weeks, I did a ton of self reflection, and identified my hang ups. Long story short, I told her that I wanted to share some things with her. She agreed to meet me, but the day of the meet, she left me a voicemail saying she changed her mind, and to not call, text, or email her. That was 2 weeks ago, and we have had NC. I did send her an email outlining my feelings, but nothing beggy or pathetic. I know that she knows I understand why she left, and that I am prepared to take the next step. Even so, she still has had absolutely NC with me. I have concluded that my efforts to communicate with her have not had my desired result. I figure I have made my feelings known, and that she can make her decisions knowing that I want to reconcile, and work on our relationship with marriage being the end goal. I am devastated. She has not said one word as to whether or not she is open to reconciliation, or wants to move on. She has come by my house to get some of her things while I'm not home, and knows that I still have her pictures up all over my house. She knows that I am dying to talk to her, and reconcile. But she won't. Even though it would be tough, I'd rather her tell me that there is zero chance of reconciliation just so I can have closure and move on. Her friends support her decision, but told me that even they think she's being a little harsh by not indicating one way or the other. I accept that I lost the woman I really want to call my wife because I didn't act. Can anyone offer advice on how a woman who was a live-in for over 3 years in a loving relationship, and wanted to marry me and start a family with me can just shut it down like this? If there was abuse or infidelity, I could understand her method. But this seems cruel to me. I think closure is necessary so I can get on with life. Thoughts? Advice? Thanks in advance!
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Don't worry about her friends. Don't expect to get closure from her. Feel the pain, accept the situation, and try to move in the direction of being ok. You don't know what the future holds, and neither does anyone else. Don't worry about how she's conducted any of this, it reflects on her - not on you.
Recommended Posts