Joey7489 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Hi everyone. On friday afternoon I was unceremoniously dumped by my gf of 2.5 months. Not a long time by a lot of standards (including mine) but there we go. In May 2010 me and a small group of friends went for a weekend on the coast. On the first night we hit town, the drinks were flowing, things were fun. I first met her in a bar, we danced a bit, exchaged phone numbers. After I got home (I live about 120 miles away) we exchanged texts for a long time. I felt reluctant to meet her again because I didn't want to get attached over a long distance. But I did. In febuary of this year, a friend and I went down to meet her and a friend for a few drinks. Although we clicked via phone, we really clicked when we met again. She is beautiful. Great personality and she totally exceeded me expectations. I didn't want to leave. The next day I promised her and myself that I would see her again. We started meeting on a regular basis. All of a sudden those 120 miles didnt seem to matter. She would come up to mine on a friday and we'd drive down to hers on the saturday, and i'd leave on the sunday. It was brilliant, it was my escape from a dead end job and a boring town. All of a sudden I was going to the coast with a beautiful girl who I loved and loved me back. Her family was great, I met all of them and she said they really liked me too. Above all I trusted her. I knew I wasn't just a "bit on the side" and that the weekends that we saw eachother was the main fous of our lives. She had some problems with her ex, so we never slept together and that didn't matter to me at all. I was just happy to be with someone so great. It had been going on like this for a while, and I was due to go to hers for a long weekend. On the thursday (I was driving down to hers on friday night), out of the blue she said she needed the weekend on her own because she was stressed. I was down, not suspicious at all, maybe a bit resentful of the fact she didnt want to spend it with me but those feelings soon went as she promised me we could spend a long one together the following weekend. Fast forward a week. I drive to hers on the thursday night, the journey is extended by 2 hours due to traffic (it usually takes 2.5 hours!) and when I got there it was great, we got on fine. Had dinner, cuddled etc. I hadn't seen her for 2 weeks and it was a relief to see her again. The next day we went shopping. She was fine with me, we were getting on great. We had lunch then she went all quiet. In a short while she revealed that it 'wasnt working anymore'. I told her I didnt feel the same way. We both said we we're in this for the long haul and that distance simply wasnt an issue. I didn't understand why she felt like this. I still don't. By 3.00pm that day I was on my way home. I don't know what to do. I haven't heard from her since. I probably won't see her again if we don't sort it out. I don't think I'll ever see her again if we can't sort this out... Maybe it was too much for her? Maybe she didn't trust me? I don't know. But i'm feeling lost, hopeless, she's not answering my phonecalls or texts. I don't know what to do.
coltsfan1 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 sounds to me like it is the distance and she didn't want to say it. Let her have a few days to think and don't call or text her during this time, unless she contacts you. If she does contact you DO NOT bring up the relationship unless she does. If or when she does just tell her the truth on how you feel and tell her she should make whatever decision is best for her then walk if she wants a break. best advice I can give you.....
TearyEyedPride Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Hey, I can truly say that i'm going through a breakup myself and I know that panic feeling. IMHO I think that you need to take some time and let your emotions settle. I wanted to cry, scream, beg, yell, get mad, and the works. I wanted to demand an answer that he come back to me, but none of that works with a positive reaction. I would try writing her an email, or a letter since she's not answering your calls or texts. You don't want to be intrusive or accusatory but you want to state your questions and concerns and feelings in a non-confrontational manner. Make sure that she knows you still care without using the "I miss you" kill phrase. Something like "I still care for you deeply". I would let her know that you don't understand why things didn't work out. Just be open and honest, let her know you respect her decision but that if possible you'd like some closure. Hopefully that'll give you some communication back, and if she never replies or responds maybe it might be time to start this painful process of acceptance.
Fedor Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 What kind of issues was she having with her ex that was keeping her from sleeping with you?
Author Joey7489 Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Well, let's just say he couldn't take 'no' for an answer on a number of occasions. He was pretty violent about it too... 2 broken ribs. That side of it was never an issue for me, whenever we talked about it she apologised saying she "couldnt give me what I wanted". I would always reassure her that it wasn't an problem for me and all I wanted was it to be right for her.
Fedor Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Alright. It looks like she may not want a relationship right now. Dont try to call or text as that will only make you look desperate. You have to know that she's been thinking about this for a while because it wasnt a heat of the moment break up. Maybe things werent always perfect as you said.
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