doublem316 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Hi, Ive been with someone for over two years now, she is the love of my life and the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. But now i feel are relationship is at breaking point. The problem is i suffer from anxiety/panic attacks which i am seeking help for, the main problem i have right now is being far away from home which as you can understand is causing so many problems as my girlfriend loves to travel. Ive let her down so many times in the past and on Friday I reached my lowest ever point...we had planned a trip to corfu with two other couples but when i get to the airport and checked in I had a massive panic attack and completley freaked out, i had to ask the airport staff to bring my bag back off the plane and ended up going home. So now my gf is stuck in corfu with two other couples, shes not angry because she knows i tried my best but she's just so dissapointed and crushed. Obviously this will lead to problems with her friends going forward because they are very upset with me and cant believe how selfish i have been. Im reaching out here really because i need help on how to deal with the situation with my girlfriend when she gets back and how to deal with her friends going forward. Also, even if you take the anxiety and panic attacks out of the equation i am a very very selfish person...how can i become a better person? I want to try so badly, we want to start a family and are saving for a mortgage and everything. I know i wont lose my gf but i dont want this life for her or myself anymore.
Kodo Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 You said you are seeking help for it? What exactly have you done so far?
stray Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 The bottom line is: if you want to change you just have to make the change. Start with the "golden rule" - treat people the way you want to be treated. Whenever you're about to make a self-centered decision, reverse the roles of you and the other party (ies) involved. How would they feel about your decision? One thing you need to understand is that, outside the context of law, no excuse equates to a justification. You can make all the excuses you want about why you couldn't or can't do certain things, but none of those excuses justify your behavior. And over time, all these excuses build up, with zero justification and then sooner or later you simply become recognized as an as*hole. So to avoid being labeled as an as*hole, you need to take responsibility and be held accountable for your decisions and your behavior. You need to tell your ex "I realize I've been really selfish and lazy, and I'm scared I'm turning into a huge as*hole. I don't want to be this person, so I need to take responsibility for what I've done. What can I do to make this up to you?". As soon as you start giving back all that you've taken, you'll start to feel better. But remember, no excuse is a justification - it's ALL an excuse. Stop making excuses and you'll start getting more respect.
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