Karala Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 May be a harsh question but the more I read through these boards, the more this seems to come up... How many of us are/were out of a job when our ex left us? Makes me ponder on the biological perspective on all of this... Our exes probably would never admit it to us or even themselves, but didn't some part of them worry that we wouldn't be good "providers" (for men) or that we would be burdens (for women) ? I for one have been feeling so at odds with society for like my whole life, and I'm 200% determined and committed to make that change now...
RuinedLife Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I've never had a paid job in my life. Mainly because of my long term illness. I know I was a burden to my ex. I just feel like giving up on life altogether at this point though, as I feel so completely worthless and I can barely find the motivation to get out of bed these days.
Author Karala Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way :[ Is your illness something that completely prevents you from being able to work? (Hope this doesn't feel too intruding, you certainly don't have to answer if you don't feel like it)
Eve Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Financial difficulties are the number one reason why couples split. All in all I think it depends if the unemployment is self inflicted or not. People who end relationships are not always monsters. Any relationship must be entered into and ended with sober judgement. My ex is my ex because he is lazy. Relied too heavily on his parents money in my view. Who wants that? Would you buy that if it were a perfume? What changes are you making OP? Take care, Eve x
Author Karala Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Hi Eve, I'm not sure I got what you were saying, but maybe I'm really just slow o_O As to the changes I want to make, the main point is to become financially independant at last. There's this carreer option that I have been vaguely considering for the past few years that I'm now 90% determined to pursue (still allowing myself a little time to make up my mind). It's a job that's quite demanding (hey, don't I have all the time and freedom in the world now?) but it pays good money too! I would be so damn proud of myself if I could make it, it makes me smile just to think of it. And I know I can do it if I really put my mind to it and stay inspired! Another goal is to get my driver's license at last, after several failed attempts from those last years (it is much much harder to get your driver's license here in France than in the US, I gather) then if I do get a job in this field, maybe move to a bigger fancier appartment... I also have less tangible goals like making myself more emotionally stable and self-confident... But the main point for me is... GET A JOB ALREADY GIRL! I can't help fantasizing about when my ex hears about my new fabulous life a few months from now and starts thinking wow, she got her **** together, maybe there's more to her than I ever thought... lol
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 haven't had a job since 2008ish... but I was getting paid to go to school (thanks GI bill). Unfortunately that eventually led to it's own issue...
coltsfan1 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 i was out of work the first time my ex and I broke up, but this time I had a decent internship that is going to led to a good paying full time job. It really all just depends on the situations surrounding the relationship...
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