trum39 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Ive been with my GF for almost a year now, Im 42 and shes 46, but doesn't look a day over 35 and is drop dead gorgeous. Everytime we go out even just shopping, men always stare at her and perve. In fact a lot of woman do too. We've had waitresses comment to her on how beautiful she looks. (Shes Mauritius so has very exotic looking features.) This doesnt bother me that much and Im getting used to it but she went out the other night with a friend of hers and they went to a bar for some drinks. I trust her 100% and know she loves me but I knew she would probably have someone try to hit on her. She told me the next day that 3 guys tried to hit on her in some way or another. She fobbed them all of telling them she was married and that her husband wouldn't be too impressed. It just pi$$e$ me right off that this happens and I hate it if she goes out somewhere without me. Although very rare anyway. Like I said I trust her but I hate the fact these men are oggling her, talking to her, and trying there hardest to get into her pants. One guy said to her "Your F%@#ing gorgeous" and "You are what you eat and by morning Im going to be eating you" Pathetic lines I know but I was so angry about it. So anyone else in this same predicament and how do you handle it???
Author trum39 Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Im not actually afraid of anything. I know she loves me and shes the same with me, She would hate it if a woman cracked onto me. It just annoys me and I hate the fact that these men are oggling her like shes a piece of meat. She said when she walked into this bar all eyes were on her and her friend and she knew she would cop sleaze bags all night.
Datura Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Apologies for the assumption. Seems to be the lack of respect she is receiving that's troubling you. Hopefully someone can provide a personal account.
Author trum39 Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Datura, Thats only part of it, I hate the lack of respect but I expect that from a lot of these drunken yobbos at bars especially the guy who came out with the pathetic line about eating her by morning. I suppose I am jealous and just hate them even perving on her when Im not there. I don't mind when we go out shopping etc and they look because Im there and its obvious she's with me. But when she goes supermarket shopping there's always an incident where a guy tries to chat her up, make small talk or perve on her and make it obvious.
LShasleftmeindespair Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 You'll need to learn to let these resentments go and laugh about how foolish these guys are.
rafallus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Counter them with "You want it but you can't have it, sorry" smug look.
imagine Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Has either of you been married before? I'm thinking: She's beautiful does she have a family?
carhill Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 So anyone else in this same predicament and how do you handle it??? You're a couple. Focus on each other. The public yammerers are extraneous noise. If one gets into your space, politely suggest they remove themselves from that space. When your GF talks about the guys hitting on her, if you would prefer she not, merely state: 'Honey, I love you. You're a beautiful woman. I'm sure men have been hitting on you your whole life. You know how to handle it, and them. I trust you. I'd rather talk about us than hear stories about these other men whom we don't know and could care less about. How do you feel about that?'
Woman In Blue Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 She said when she walked into this bar all eyes were on her and her friend and she knew she would cop sleaze bags all night. Sounds like she constantly needs to have her ego fed. It happens to me too all the time, but I don't constantly brag about it to my boyfriend to get a rise out of him.
vsmini Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Sounds like she constantly needs to have her ego fed. It happens to me too all the time, but I don't constantly brag about it to my boyfriend to get a rise out of him. I agree. I doubt I'm anywhere near as pretty as you say your GF is but I get hit on quite a bit and when my BF asks me about it or says things like "I bet you get hit on left and right" I just say "yea - whatever" and roll my eyes and smile at him. I don't come home with a full report of who hit on me that night and give him details. If you're asking her for the details I suggest you stop because it's only getting you upset. I think it's strange if she just tells you all about it if you don't even ask her.
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 @ imagine She was married 18 years and has two children. I was in a defacto 12 years and have four children. The same thing happened when she was married but probably worse because she was a lot younger. She doesnt encourage it, nor does she come home with a full brag report. I ask her and she is usually reluctant to tell me or just says "yeh a guy tried to hit on me" but I ask for the full details from her. I suppose Im just a sucker for punishment, I know Im not going to like what I hear but push her for the details anyway. She certainly doesnt like it or needs to have her ego fed. If I spot someone perving on her when we are out and make a comment about it she down plays it. She loves me I know she does I trust her 100% and she often says when someone looks that they were just looking at both of us, and down plays it. I agree Sanskrit its good to get the "Wow whats he got to get her look from other guys" and we have often been given great service at restaurants etc, but its usually her that gets all the service and attention and i know its because theyre trying to woo her off me. Dont get me wrong Im not jealous, Im a good looking guy myself and get my share of looks which my GF hates like I do. I just have to get used to it i guess. Thanks for the helpful replies.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Ive been with my GF for almost a year now, Im 42 and shes 46, but doesn't look a day over 35 and is drop dead gorgeous. Everytime we go out even just shopping, men always stare at her and perve. In fact a lot of woman do too. We've had waitresses comment to her on how beautiful she looks. (Shes Mauritius so has very exotic looking features.) This doesnt bother me that much and Im getting used to it but she went out the other night with a friend of hers and they went to a bar for some drinks. I trust her 100% and know she loves me but I knew she would probably have someone try to hit on her. She told me the next day that 3 guys tried to hit on her in some way or another. She fobbed them all of telling them she was married and that her husband wouldn't be too impressed. It just pi$$e$ me right off that this happens and I hate it if she goes out somewhere without me. Although very rare anyway. Like I said I trust her but I hate the fact these men are oggling her, talking to her, and trying there hardest to get into her pants. One guy said to her "Your F%@#ing gorgeous" and "You are what you eat and by morning Im going to be eating you" Pathetic lines I know but I was so angry about it. So anyone else in this same predicament and how do you handle it??? That's pretty damn impressive that a 46 year old woman can look younger than 40. I never see that here in NYC. I don't think it's anywhere in America so I figured this woman you got is of another ethnic. And sure enough she is. Good luck trying to keep these horndogs off her .
nyc_guy2003 Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 My wife is good looking too, but she wears a huge wedding ring on her finger which generally acts as a sausage repellent.
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 My wife is good looking too, but she wears a huge wedding ring on her finger which generally acts as a sausage repellent. Were not married but she does wear a ring I brought her and shows sleaze bags and tells them she has a husband when they try to crack onto her. But to a lot of guys these days its more of a challenge to try and get her.
Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 You'll need to learn to let these resentments go and laugh about how foolish these guys are. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd ever agree with you, but alas, I do.
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Never in a million years did I ever think I'd ever agree with you, but alas, I do. Why do you agree Stargazer? Are you in the same position? have you had to do the same?
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 That's pretty damn impressive that a 46 year old woman can look younger than 40. I never see that here in NYC. I don't think it's anywhere in America so I figured this woman you got is of another ethnic. And sure enough she is. Good luck trying to keep these horndogs off her . Yes shes Mauritius, so has the nice brown skin and exotic looks. Id show you a picture if I knew how to add a profile picture. I dont want to post a link here for non forum members etc to see.
Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Why do you agree Stargazer? Are you in the same position? have you had to do the same? You can't control these dudes' behavior, and she's doing nothing to bring it on. So your only option is to get over it. Would you really rather she never get "perved on"? That men never notice her?
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Would you really rather she never get "perved on"? That men never notice her? Well I suppose I feel good knowing that shes attractive and shes mine. I dont mind guys looking at her, what I hate is the ones that go overboard. We've been out having dinner and guys have walked past and just stared and smiled and made it obvious, they seem to not care that im with her and think they will be able to win her over or something or that shes gonna walk away with them. We had one guy just keep walking past her staring and a waiter once put his hand on her shoulder while she ordered. I told him to get his hands off her and Im a very placid guy but I saw red when he touched her. I told him to F%^& off and send another waiter over he wasnt to serve us anymore.
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 It just pi$$e$ me right off that this happens and I hate it if she goes out somewhere without me. Although very rare anyway. First of all, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean she can't have her own life and do things on her own, with friends, family etc., each of you HAVE to have your own hobbies and things to do apart, so you need to deal with this and allow her (and you) time apart sometimes to enjoy spending time with others. Don't be jealous or hurt or pissed off about it or feel insecure. It's something ALL healthy relationships need. Each person has to have their stuff they like to do alone. Like I said I trust her but I hate the fact these men are oggling her, talking to her, and trying there hardest to get into her pants. One guy said to her "Your F%@#ing gorgeous" and "You are what you eat and by morning Im going to be eating you" Pathetic lines I know but I was so angry about it. So anyone else in this same predicament and how do you handle it??? You trust her, so instead of getting upset or jealous ENJOY the fact she is dating you and other men can't have her. Take it as a compliment that she's beautiful and YOUR girlfriend. You can't control others reactions to her, you can only control how you react ..It's not her fault, and even if she talks to guys doesn't mean anything. She should tell those pigs to F off if they cross the line and are disrespectful, noone likes to be hit on in a sleezy way! Work on you and be confident and secure.
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Yes shes Mauritius, so has the nice brown skin and exotic looks. Id show you a picture if I knew how to add a profile picture. I dont want to post a link here for non forum members etc to see. Do not post a picture of your girlfriend on here, let alone without asking her. What if someone (a member on here) recognizes her? or if she is on here too and you don't know that! OR, she stumbles across this site and see's a photo.
Ouroboros Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Would you really rather she never get "perved on"? That men never notice her? Wouldn't it be better if people could simply act appropriately?
Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Wouldn't it be better if people could simply act appropriately? Sure, but the world is full of appropriate people. Again, he can't control all these pervy dudes. He can only control himself. So why get upset over something you can't control, especially if it doesn't actually affect you in any way? He said she blows them off, it's not like they're a real threat.
Author trum39 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 @ whichwayisup I do encourage her to have her own interests and hobbys and am fine with here going out with friends. Shes also fine with me doing the same. I suppose it was just nice to vent and talk about the issue to people and get some different perspectives on it. I wasnt going to post her pic on here for everyone to see, was going to make it my profile pic so only members could see and she does know about it shes read this post and has been interested in the replies. Her comment was "See you know I love you and im yours so dont worry about these sleaze bags...I dont"
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