AxCent Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Hello everyone, first time posting here. My younger brother and his stupid girlfriend are arguing. His argument is she, all of sudden wants to hang out and did hang out with her ex-boyfriend whom my younger brother has fought before (my brother got suspended because he broke that guy's nose). I have told my brother that he should dump her because 1) she likes to criticize everyone that she dislikes, even if they are strangers. 2) she is too clingy (It seems that she always texts him) 3) I may be wrong, but she might be a gold digger because all she wants to do is go out and have dinner nearly 90% of the time and that my brother pays for it 95% of the time, using my father's hard-earned money, as well as mine (sometimes) My fiancee and I have hung out with these two before and we sincerely hope that my brother can be free of her because I know that my brother can find someone better and that he deserves someone better as well (even though he likes to use my money... Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you all,
Lilmisus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Honestly, it's his ultimate decision who he dates and who he doesn't date. Even if you don't think that she's the best choice for him, doesn't mean that he feels the same way, and may not appreciate any input that you have about his relationship. So, you can go a few ways about this. 1.) Back off, and let him make his own decisions and mistakes in his love life, and regular life. 2.) Tell him that you will no longer be his bank. If he wants to take his girlfriend out, he needs to get his own job and stop leeching off of you and your father. 3.) Tell him that you don't feel that this is the best dating choice of his. Say that you respect his decisions, but that you think he should re-evaluate his relationship with her and decide if he feels that it's the best choice for himself. Ask if she helps make him a better person, if she inspires him to get a job and treat her right. Or if he thinks that she is really special and that he really can see a future with her. Maybe ask what he sees in her. Tell him what you see as well, and point out why you feel the way you do (yes, again). 4.) Put your foot down and place a restraining order against the chick...even if you don't have a real reason for doing so. Just make up some excuse to the police, so that you don't have to worry about it anymore. They may not appreciate it now..but may in the future But I think you should just mind your own business here. It's hard not to worry about siblings, and friends, especially if it's a younger brother or sister, but you have to realize that you had to make a few mistakes in your life, and so does he. He may like the attention that she gives him. He may like taking her out on other people's money, and may actually enjoy getting into fights with her ex..may make him feel more "manly". He sounds young..so he has a lot of mistakes ahead of him that he needs to learn from. Be prepared.
dangerstranger Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Your brother is just going to have to figure things out the hard way. When people are blinded by love, they aren't going to listen to reason from other people. It's easy to sit on the outside as an observer, you can see things the person in love can't. The terrible person you see isn't the person he sees. It's your brother that has to come to his own realization about their relationship. I think the only thing you can do is be there for support. If you speak your mind and tell your brother she's terrible, he's going to be less apt to approach you for advice- and even less apt to come to you later for an "I told you so" later on. He's young I am assuming? In which case, it's safe to say, this relationship isn't going to last.
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