spiderowl Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 (edited) I'm pretty much at my wits end with dating generally and sites particularly. I'd like a genuine relationship with a guy but rarely feel attraction. I'm also easily put off if a guy makes a sexual approach. I immediately feel he's only interested in using me, not me as a person. Most guys online start talking about sex after 2-3 messages or start using pet names like 'love' or 'hun' which I absolutely hate. It seems guys are interested in sex and the rest is an afterthought so how can I trust them at all? I can sort of understand that there has to be physical attraction initially, but how can I tell the guy who is just looking for sex with any agreeable woman from the one who is genuinely attracted to and interested in me? It seems impossible. I just don't trust anyone. It's not as if I don't like sex, I do, very much, and it hurts to feel I'm missing out, but feeling used is too high a price to pay. And no, I know women can enjoy sex and not feel guilt about being in a casual relationship, that's not the problem. I'm a feminist in that respect. What I can't bear is lies and feeling that the guy could walk away and forget about me, having claimed he likes me and wants to get to know me. I don't believe any compliments from a guy, I just assume he is saying that to manipulate me or because he feels it's 'the done thing'. I guess I must sound extremely cynical. I even assume that guys I meet accidentally while socialising are up to no good. I was talking to a younger guy while out. He'd started the conversation with me and seemed friendly and smiling. He discovered my daughter was one of the women in the room and said 'you look too young for her to be your daughter'. He also complimented me. I know this guy is a decorator and I just thought he's used to chatting women up while at work and I don't want to be just one of them. I felt he was trying to flatter me and I totally backed off. Until then, I'd thought he seemed a nice guy. Looking back, he probably was a nice guy but I'd assumed the worst. I can't seem to get away from this feeling that all guys are lying toads just trying to get women into bed without any care for the woman. I have been mistreated by a guy who I felt used me like this so it's hard now to see any guy as trustworthy. I feel like giving up and at the same time feel desperately sad that I will never have a love life again. Am I missing something obvious here or is it really that bad out in the dating world? Edited June 5, 2011 by spiderowl
Recommended Posts