Dntel23 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 So I met this girl about 3 months ago at a mall. We would talk and text but she hardly showed any interest. I asked her out to dinner but she said no because she had a boyfriend and just wanted to be friends (She mentioned it before she gave me her number). I stopped talking to her. A month later I ran into her number in my closet and decided to hit her up. It's been about 2 weeks now and she has shown so much interest. We talked on the phone a couple nights ago and she kept insisting we hang out soon. Every time I text her she calls me "love". IDK if she means anything by it but I am thinking Optimistic and hoping that she might be coming around. Oh and I forgot to mention she never EVER mentions her boyfriend. When we talk on the phone or text, it's not as friends do but more as getting to know the person you like. Can you give me some advice on whether she likes me or not?
vsmini Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Advice - ask her if she still has a boyfriend. If yes-seek follow up advice. Follow up advice - stop talking to her.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 vsmini-I asked her that around the first week we started talking again. She said yes she did. But on the phone the other day she slightly mentioned that she's been having boy problems. I didn't get into it. Cause I didn't wan't to ruin what we we're having at the moment. Cause I am truly interested in having her in my life in the long run. I don't want to stop talking to her. But I do know this. He's never around. So what's my fallow up advice?
Author Dntel23 Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 ^^^I also forgot to mention that she knows what I want (And thats to make her my lady). Cause we had a talk about it. After that conversation we had, Her interest started to show. Your Advice?
thatone Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 she is willing to befriend strange men when her boyfriend isn't keeping her satisfied. and you want to be the boyfriend, think about that. we know you're gonna go after her anyways no need to ask permission on the internet. but don't be surprised when the boyfriend is back and you wind up relegated to plan B again.
Ouroboros Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 She's looking for an affair. Do you want to be the other man?
thatone Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 here's the only course of action that makes sense... go ahead if she says the boyfriend is gone, but when you get the "i don't want a relationship right now" or "can't we just stay friends" the answer is an immediate and unequivocal 'no'. tell her it's not in any way ok to keep multiple men around to satisfy her needs when she doesn't get along with the one she's got. tell her to make up her mind. at that point she probably will leave and go back to the ex, mind you. but you'll feel better for being the one to reject her instead of sitting there and letting her reject you.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Ouroboros-NO I don't want to be "THE OTHER" man, I want to be "THE" man. Thatone-Yeah, your probably right. I already asked her if she has a bf. Her response was yes. Keep in mind when she said that, she hardly wrote to me. Now it seems as I am the guy on her mind. I don't want to be the bad guy in all this. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm not a player or any of that. I just really like this girl. Now I don't know where I stand with her but lately she's been insisting we hang out. Last night she asked me out! That is very unusual to me. Don't know if its a friend thing or a date. But if I end up hanging out with her. How do I handle this situation? Should I ask about the boyfriend?
ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Bro, do you really think you can enter into a relationship with a girl who has a boyfriend right now? Come on. She'll do the SAME THING TO YOU. She'll be "your girl" - she may even say she loves you, etc etc - but, I can GUARANTEE you, the entire time you two are together, she'll be talking to/flirting with/etc with 2-3 other guys. RUN NOW - she does not want what you want, no matter what she says Edit: Oh - and you may not be player, but dude, she is; it's also likely she's just playing with you because she likes it when guys are interested in her. I'm telling you, stop all contact immediately
thatone Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Now I don't know where I stand with her but lately she's been insisting we hang out. Last night she asked me out! That is very unusual to me. Don't know if its a friend thing or a date. But if I end up hanging out with her. How do I handle this situation? Should I ask about the boyfriend? nope, just play it like any other single woman, if anything be MORE aggressive about spending free time with her, so as to not give her a chance to make time for the ex. but you know when you hear the phrases mentioned above, the "i don't want a relationship right now" or "i just wanna make new friends" or any other such thing that it's bullsh*t, what she really means is she's trying to make up with the ex or has made up with him already. and hey, you may never hear that stuff, maybe she really is over the last guy. but when/if you do hear something like that, end it on the spot right then and there.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 ConfusedGuy28-Thanks for your advice but I am very optimistic and I am willing to pursuit it even though theres a chance of it back firing. thatone-Thanks, sounds just about right. When should I start asking her about her relationship, and when should I ask her if shes interested in me?
thatone Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 When should I start asking her about her relationship, and when should I ask her if shes interested in me? that's far enough away that you don't even need to think about it. as in, months, during ALL of which you're satisfied that she's had no contact with the ex at all. and again, be prepared for the fact that those months very well may not happen.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 I never said that she had an ex. She may still very well be with him. I dont know, My question is when is the opportune moment to ask her about her current relationship?
Sith Apprentice Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 She could be genuinely interested or she could just be using you as an AFC emotional tampon surrogate boyfriend. If she insists on hanging out then I say go for it and test her true intentions, but don't take her anywhere expensive or a restaurant. Only an AFC would buy dinner for a chick with a boyfriend. Make a move and try to kiss her at some point during the meeting. If she rejects you then you'll know she's full of **** and just using you for attention.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 K so I went out with her last night and I have to say it went rather well in my opinion. In fact she asked if we can meet up later this week. I believe that is a good sign of interest. I did not try to make a move but she was rather close to me and kept her eyes on me the whole night. She also text me when she got home letting me know that she had a great time with me. So what next?
Ouroboros Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 K so I went out with her last night and I have to say it went rather well in my opinion. In fact she asked if we can meet up later this week. I believe that is a good sign of interest. I did not try to make a move but she was rather close to me and kept her eyes on me the whole night. She also text me when she got home letting me know that she had a great time with me. So what next? You seem to have a handle on it.
Author Dntel23 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 So it's looking good?! o/\o I guess my question is... Do you think she genuinely interested or am I just plan B?
Ouroboros Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 So it's looking good?! o/\o I guess my question is... Do you think she genuinely interested or am I just plan B? I think we are beyond the point where that matters.
Sith Apprentice Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) You'll never know where you stand with a woman until you attempt physical intimacy with her. Attempting a good night kiss cuts straight through the BS and will immediately let you know where you stand. Hang out with her again, but you need to pull the goddamn trigger or your going to wind up in the friends zone! Also, ignore all the chivalry BS posts in this thread. There are no rules in this game. The good ones are always taken so if you want them you gotta steal them away. Go for what you want and screw everybody else. Edited June 7, 2011 by Sith Apprentice
Author Dntel23 Posted June 17, 2011 Author Posted June 17, 2011 So it's been a solid week between me and her. I've already hit second base. But all of a sudden shes telling that we should take things slow. She mentioned to me that it's not like her to fall easy for a guy and to give herself like that and that she wants to be mentally prepared for a serious relationship and does not just want to jump from one guy to another. So I let her know that I'm ready when she's ready to move fourth with this relationship. She did inform me that we are "Dating Exclusively". But it's been 2 days now and suddenly I'm hardly receiving any text messages and she all of a sudden is calling me passed midnight. Which is making me think somethings up. I think there's something shes not telling me. How should I handle this situation?
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