Jono85 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Honestly from my experience, the things you've stated up above are often from women who are forever single and never really give a guy a shot, like they rule him out quickly over some preconceived notion that he likes you too much too soon, and other petty nonsense. Us men never do that! At least I never do. If I like a girl, I like her, period. I don't find that fair of you, especially where the guy hasn't done anything bad to offend you yet. Some guys feel that persistence with a girl works wonders if he keeps at it. However, if you're not physically attracted to him, then that would make more sense. I can't tell you how many times I've been guilty of persistence and it blew up in my face. Or when I sat back and didn't do much, and yet the girl, as well, did squat in return. One of the reasons I'm still single now. Women refuse to step it up when giving the opportunity to! They leave it all on the man and then shout WE WANT EQUALITY! I just feel, Lilmisus, you're still pretty young and is looking for the perfect guy to meet this aforementioned criteria of check marks and minuses. It's wrong. And it contributes to the high singles rate we have today. You can agree or disagree with me, it's just my opinion on the matter. I think you're being a little unfair to Lilmisus. I'll give you my own story, which I think sort of relates to her posts here, as an example. I met 2 girls on POF recently (yes, i'm relatively young, 25, and don't want to pay for a dating site, and realize this site is kind of a joke...moving on..). I would say, on sheer looks alone, i'm attracted to both of them fairly equally. I've yet to meet either of them in person yet (it's still relatively fresh) but I've had great convo's with both of them, with lots of flirty/sexual playful talk mixed in. Girl 1 seems to be a bit more "gamey", although she swears she's not. She just generally takes much longer to respond via text, and doesn't initiate nearly as much as Girl 2, and I have a harder time telling whether she is really interested or what (she tends to blow hot, then cools down for a bit). Girl 2, like I said is equally, if not more attractive. But she has already been showing some fairly "clingy" vibes. Again, I repeat, I'm insanely attracted to her physically. But the fact that she's texting me many times a day, morning, afternoon, and night, fairly readily available whenever I msg her, I won't say it's a "turnoff" persay but it isn't really helping her cause at all. Like Lilmisus I'm wondering why an attractive girl is so attached to me already, before we've formally met. It just makes me wonder if there are other things going on. Why am I so special, what have i done to deserve all of this attention? Makes you think any guy half attractive can just walk into her life, give her a few compliments, flirt with her, and she'll be attached. I'm not gonna lie I'd like to think I'm fairly charming/witty lol but no still. I understand what Lilmisus is saying wholeheartedly. It goes both ways, for girls and guys. Just try to be more of a challenge/mysterious for a bit, before you get to know her well; it sucks b/c you may be so excited in the inside, but i'm telling you 9 times out of 10, it pays to put on a bit of an act and hide your true excitement/interest level. That's not to say you ignore her or need to be rude to her at all, just don't be so available. If you don't have one, at least PRETEND to have a busy fulfilling life. A girl without much baggage wants a stable guy who has his own life; a guy that won't put her on a pedastal before she deserves to be put there. Disclaimer: I do struggle with this on my own I'll admit; it's a challenge. Because sometimes you DO get really excited about a girl you just met for whatever reasons, but try to contain it for a while until she deserves to see more of how you feel about her.
Lilmisus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Like Lilmisus I'm wondering why an attractive girl is so attached to me already, before we've formally met. It just makes me wonder if there are other things going on. Why am I so special, what have i done to deserve all of this attention? Makes you think any guy half attractive can just walk into her life, give her a few compliments, flirt with her, and she'll be attached. I'm not gonna lie I'd like to think I'm fairly charming/witty lol but no still. I understand what Lilmisus is saying wholeheartedly. It goes both ways, for girls and guys. Just try to be more of a challenge/mysterious for a bit, before you get to know her well; it sucks b/c you may be so excited in the inside, but i'm telling you 9 times out of 10, it pays to put on a bit of an act and hide your true excitement/interest level. That's not to say you ignore her or need to be rude to her at all, just don't be so available. If you don't have one, at least PRETEND to have a busy fulfilling life. A girl without much baggage wants a stable guy who has his own life; a guy that won't put her on a pedastal before she deserves to be put there. My point exactly. Honestly from my experience, the things you've stated up above are often from women who are forever single and never really give a guy a shot, like they rule him out quickly over some preconceived notion that he likes you too much too soon, and other petty nonsense. Us men never do that! At least I never do. If I like a girl, I like her, period. I don't find that fair of you, especially where the guy hasn't done anything bad to offend you yet. Some guys feel that persistence with a girl works wonders if he keeps at it. However, if you're not physically attracted to him, then that would make more sense. I can't tell you how many times I've been guilty of persistence and it blew up in my face. Or when I sat back and didn't do much, and yet the girl, as well, did squat in return. One of the reasons I'm still single now. Women refuse to step it up when giving the opportunity to! They leave it all on the man and then shout WE WANT EQUALITY! I just feel, Lilmisus, you're still pretty young and is looking for the perfect guy to meet this aforementioned criteria of check marks and minuses. It's wrong. And it contributes to the high singles rate we have today. You can agree or disagree with me, it's just my opinion on the matter. The thing is, is that it seemed fake to me. I can't stand fake people, at all, and I especially can't stand a guy faking being interested in me. Sure, the first one may have really thought I was truly amazing, and truly beautiful, but the way he gushed all over me, was way overdoing it. If he was really into me, then he should have saved those lame lines for another time, instead of making me feel like I was just another girl who he was trying to hard to sleep with. Trust me..that's all that guy was looking for..he didn't exactly do well at hiding his motives for hitting on me. The second guy I mentioned, is a headache. I work with him at my new job, and the fact that I left my old one to stay away from any sort of drama, just makes his attention that much more unbearable and annoying. The fact that I've already made it clear I wasn't interested, and the fact that when I'm busy doing my job just makes him seem disrespectful of my wishes, and way too desperate and persistent (or, maybe he's just annoying on purpose, who knows?). But you do have a point. My not giving these guys a chance when they've already annoyed me, does add up to the high single rates that we have going on. But right now...2.5 months out of my last relationship, I'm not exactly looking or desperate for a relationship. If the guy doesn't spark my interest, or at least not annoy me within the first few encounters (due to over interest, or lack thereof), then I'm not going to waste my time on it. I don't know what I want right now from a guy, but I do know that I don't want to waste my time with someone who overdoes it. Slow and steady wins the race..at least with me anyway. (But hey, I love different opinions, they make this site all the more interesting)
Jono85 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 My point exactly. The thing is, is that it seemed fake to me. I can't stand fake people, at all, and I especially can't stand a guy faking being interested in me. Sure, the first one may have really thought I was truly amazing, and truly beautiful, but the way he gushed all over me, was way overdoing it. If he was really into me, then he should have saved those lame lines for another time, instead of making me feel like I was just another girl who he was trying to hard to sleep with. Trust me..that's all that guy was looking for..he didn't exactly do well at hiding his motives for hitting on me. The second guy I mentioned, is a headache. I work with him at my new job, and the fact that I left my old one to stay away from any sort of drama, just makes his attention that much more unbearable and annoying. The fact that I've already made it clear I wasn't interested, and the fact that when I'm busy doing my job just makes him seem disrespectful of my wishes, and way too desperate and persistent (or, maybe he's just annoying on purpose, who knows?). But you do have a point. My not giving these guys a chance when they've already annoyed me, does add up to the high single rates that we have going on. But right now...2.5 months out of my last relationship, I'm not exactly looking or desperate for a relationship. If the guy doesn't spark my interest, or at least not annoy me within the first few encounters (due to over interest, or lack thereof), then I'm not going to waste my time on it. I don't know what I want right now from a guy, but I do know that I don't want to waste my time with someone who overdoes it. Slow and steady wins the race..at least with me anyway. (But hey, I love different opinions, they make this site all the more interesting) i just wanted to say, and it doesn't really necessarily pertain to those 2 guys in particular b/c they seem a little odd, but i wouldn't necessarily blow a guy off b/c of over interest. us guys have cold spells too. or times when we've had our hearts crushed and our hope for finding someone special takes a hit. so there are times when a guy, or girl for that matter, might give off overly clingy/excited vibes in the beginning, and i wouldn't automatically next him b/c of that. like girl #2 i was referring to, she is being a little clingy, but i'm trying to be objective about it, and not make assumptions, is all i'm saying. she hasn't done anything or said anything wrong in the slightest, she just seems very available and excited to meet me etc and you can tell i'm like her new crush by the way that she talks/texts. i'm sure if a guy did this to a girl, such as someone like you, he'd be nexted. and imo that's not really fair. i'm just sayin guys can get excited with new girls, just like girls can...and some probs can't hide it that well. it doesn't mean they are a player, and just trying to get in your pants. it might just mean they've had rotten luck, and so far you seem like heaven compared to their run of recent past girls etc.
Author singlelife Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 Whether it's the excitement or just the opportunity to let their hair down, women like to date these types of men. People, especially men need to stop denying it.
TheLawmaker Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Whether it's the excitement or just the opportunity to let their hair down, women like to date these types of men. People, especially men need to stop denying it. I think many men are aware of it. Women aren't, though, and excuse their bad behavior. Then, when they end up in an abusive relationship, they don't understand it (but he was such a nice guy!) I've seen it so many times, even with my own sister and mother. Women seem to flock to men who behave badly. If I could turn gay, I would. Because the way I am does not appeal me to the general population of women.
TheLawmaker Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Whether it's the excitement or just the opportunity to let their hair down, women like to date these types of men. People, especially men need to stop denying it. I think many men are aware of it. Women aren't, though, and excuse their bad behavior. Then, when they end up in an abusive relationship, they don't understand it (but he was such a nice guy!) I've seen it so many times, even with my own sister and mother. Women seem to flock to men who behave badly. If I could turn gay, I would. Because the way I am does not appeal me to the general population of women.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 I think you're being a little unfair to Lilmisus. I'll give you my own story, which I think sort of relates to her posts here, as an example. I met 2 girls on POF recently (yes, i'm relatively young, 25, and don't want to pay for a dating site, and realize this site is kind of a joke...moving on..). I would say, on sheer looks alone, i'm attracted to both of them fairly equally. I've yet to meet either of them in person yet (it's still relatively fresh) but I've had great convo's with both of them, with lots of flirty/sexual playful talk mixed in. Girl 1 seems to be a bit more "gamey", although she swears she's not. She just generally takes much longer to respond via text, and doesn't initiate nearly as much as Girl 2, and I have a harder time telling whether she is really interested or what (she tends to blow hot, then cools down for a bit). Girl 2, like I said is equally, if not more attractive. But she has already been showing some fairly "clingy" vibes. Again, I repeat, I'm insanely attracted to her physically. But the fact that she's texting me many times a day, morning, afternoon, and night, fairly readily available whenever I msg her, I won't say it's a "turnoff" persay but it isn't really helping her cause at all. Like Lilmisus I'm wondering why an attractive girl is so attached to me already, before we've formally met. It just makes me wonder if there are other things going on. Why am I so special, what have i done to deserve all of this attention? Makes you think any guy half attractive can just walk into her life, give her a few compliments, flirt with her, and she'll be attached. I'm not gonna lie I'd like to think I'm fairly charming/witty lol but no still. I understand what Lilmisus is saying wholeheartedly. It goes both ways, for girls and guys. Just try to be more of a challenge/mysterious for a bit, before you get to know her well; it sucks b/c you may be so excited in the inside, but i'm telling you 9 times out of 10, it pays to put on a bit of an act and hide your true excitement/interest level. That's not to say you ignore her or need to be rude to her at all, just don't be so available. If you don't have one, at least PRETEND to have a busy fulfilling life. A girl without much baggage wants a stable guy who has his own life; a guy that won't put her on a pedastal before she deserves to be put there. Disclaimer: I do struggle with this on my own I'll admit; it's a challenge. Because sometimes you DO get really excited about a girl you just met for whatever reasons, but try to contain it for a while until she deserves to see more of how you feel about her. I really like your post. Makes the most sense than any other but of course you're a dude like me.... Anyway, I've done the "mysterious man" routine years ago when I was in my 20s. I got a little bit of results, but no where near what I should've gotten given the circumstances. I attracted women I didn't want. And the women I craved that seemed a bit interested in my "mysterious man" persona at first, played all these head games because she looked good and knew there were other guys out there wanting her so she always kept an eye out for something better than what faced her . I wasn't into chasing girls like that. Its stupid. Over the years, I just come to realize that as the dating world gets much more sickening with women at their worst, men not really knowing how to be real men, women just the same, it isn't worth persuing her under any of these guises. It's actually much easier to just get a successful career to brag about to women of other ethnicities in other parts of the world to get my ego up and stroked; then, get my rocks off on them and be done. Life is simpler, unaggravating, and I'm free to live day-by-day .
Author singlelife Posted June 7, 2011 Author Posted June 7, 2011 I see most of the women say they actual are attracted to them. So this is what I go by.
KR10N Posted June 8, 2011 Posted June 8, 2011 There has only been one time that I've been attracted to a so called "bad boy". Once I learned some pretty disgusting things about him, which I found to be true, I immediately lost interest. Not to mention, a total smart mouth. Since my "growing older" I've learned I'm much more attracted to the well mannered type. I don't care how good looking a bad boy is, I'll never date one.
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