Woggle Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 When many of these women become then they become bitter and hate all men because of what the bad boys did to them and they make the good guys pay for their sins. If you look at most women with a misandrist mentality they spend a good portion of their younger years chasing after jerks and now have heaps of emotional baggage.
AD1980 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I cant get women for sh*t but never blamed it on being mild mannered or too nice im just not agressive/attractive enough I have plenty of friends who are good guys who did well with women and are now happily married.. I only have known one or two women who actually sought out "bad boys" and they themselves are screwed up..most women dont want bad men.. What most women go after is hot attractive Men some of whom might be bad but can charm a women enough initially where they dont see it or be hot enough that they let them get away with being an ahole for a little while till they get tired of their act.. An ugly unattractive dude trying to pull off the bad boy thing and being a jerk will not get very far..You better be really good looking to pull off being an ass and disrespectful and still gettign women
Nexus One Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 One piece of advice, let the women who chase after bad boys and players go, most often they're not interesting. They often have superficial and one dimensional characters and while some look hot, it's not the type of beauty that takes your breath away, they'd need character/personality and class to accomplish that, but those women most often do not demonstrate such qualities.
TheLawmaker Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Sure, women want good looking guys, but my experience has been that being "a bad boy" goes over much better than being a "nice guy." They want the excitement of dating a daredevil, and then cry when their relationship fails. Well, maybe try dating a smart and well rounded individual for once, instead of the poor choice of the bad boy?
OldOnTheInside Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 The question is, why are some guys interested (beyond sex ) in the type of girls that want to date bad boys in the first place? It shows a certain level of...immaturity for all parties involved IMO. I remember when I was in University, I had a close friend that was infatuated with one of his female classmates. He was the charismatic "nice guy" that stood by her and provided a shoulder to cry on every single time the classmate dated a bad boy and had her heart broken (which was everytime btw). I think that he had created an idealised version of this class mate in his head that didn't really exist. I can't count the number of times that I told him to "move on". He's grown up now fortunately...
somedude81 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Personally - I like to have more fun, and I like to have a bit of suspense wondering "does he like me..?" at least in the beginning. Guys who are all over me, constantly asking questions and trying to do "the right thing" just seem too desperate and boring to me, so I ignore them. Plus..it gets annoying after a while. Make me think that any girl can have you, and that I'm "lucky" to have you with me (when..in fact you're the lucky one ), and you'll have more of a shot with me..and probably many other girls. I don't want a "bad" guy, I just want a guy who's more fun to be around and not just a bore or easy to overlook. Women like you are the bane of my existence. Is it may fault that I'm not the kind of guy who can get any girl? It's so f-ing screwed up that a guy is boring just because he's interested. Would you rather a guy randomly slap you around so you're not sure if he likes you or not?
Tybalt Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I agree that the "bad boy" commonly loses his lustre as the 20's fade into a woman's rearview mirror. I dated one or two of those in my time. Even married one, which ended horribly. I don't recommend it even if you think you've "tamed" one enough to "commit" to you. The only way a guy like this will change is because he has come to the conclusion on his own that he wants to be different, and that the bad boy modus operandi is an empty or less fulfilling one for him. And, once a man gets into his 30's, 40's, and beyond, unless he's some kind of rock star or uber charismatic leader type, the bad boy act becomes even less appealing since it seems increasingly immature. It is absolutely pointless for me now to date a bad boy, and I don't even find them attractive. As soon as I sense it, I completely lose interest. I'd much rather stay single than put up with inconsiderate (or worse) behavior. I want to be with someone who will treat me as I will treat him, so I leave those player/jerk types to others. That being said, having a slight edge and a little bit of mystery (say, pursuing your passions in life, having emotional self-sufficiency and not seeming too invested too fast in a woman you haven't gotten to know well), while at the same time being a considerate guy sounds like a great combination (on a woman's end too!).
nordic Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I agree that the "bad boy" commonly loses his lustre as the 20's fade into a woman's rearview mirror. I dated one or two of those in my time. Even married one, which ended horribly. I don't recommend it even if you think you've "tamed" one enough to "commit" to you. The only way a guy like this will change is because he has come to the conclusion on his own that he wants to be different, and that the bad boy modus operandi is an empty or less fulfilling one for him. And, once a man gets into his 30's, 40's, and beyond, unless he's some kind of rock star or uber charismatic leader type, the bad boy act becomes even less appealing since it seems increasingly immature. It is absolutely pointless for me now to date a bad boy, and I don't even find them attractive. As soon as I sense it, I completely lose interest. I'd much rather stay single than put up with inconsiderate (or worse) behavior. I want to be with someone who will treat me as I will treat him, so I leave those player/jerk types to others. That being said, having a slight edge and a little bit of mystery (say, pursuing your passions in life, having emotional self-sufficiency and not seeming too invested too fast in a woman you haven't gotten to know well), while at the same time being a considerate guy sounds like a great combination (on a woman's end too!). good boys do get the girl, after all the bad boys had her first:-) then they dont want her anymore. guess you noticed that:)
Lilmisus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Women like you are the bane of my existence. Is it may fault that I'm not the kind of guy who can get any girl? It's so f-ing screwed up that a guy is boring just because he's interested. Would you rather a guy randomly slap you around so you're not sure if he likes you or not? That's definitely what I was getting at Like I said, I don't like guys who are considered "bad," I just don't like boring. Take this recent example: Nice guy comes up and starts talking to me. I enjoy talking to him, until he starts calling me "beautiful" (after a couple of hours) and starts gushing all over me. Saying how much he wants to take me out, and how I'm so amazing and great and all this crap. After a little while of him doing this, I started getting really irritated. This guy barely even knew me, yet I wouldn't be surprised if the next words that came out of his mouth were "you're the girl of my dreams" because he was on the fast track to that. I enjoyed hearing that he'd treat me right, and him saying that he wanted to buy me flowers and take me on a romantic date - that part I liked. I just didn't appreciate his obsessive attention after what - a few hours of "knowing" me? It came across more as desperate, creepy, and immature than romantic and "nice." I prefer the guy who I can talk to, and joke around with at first. Who isn't afraid to let his sarcasm show, and isn't hanging onto every word I say. Who doesn't make it seem like I'm the girl of his dreams within the first (few) encounter(s). Let me work at getting your attention and your affection a bit. Show me that I'm at least a little "special" and that you don't treat every single girl like you're treating me (which is hopefully decently). I by no means want a bad guy. That was my ex..and I don't want another one of him. I just want a guy who is more fun and exciting to be around rather than a sheer bore by throwing himself all over me.
Tybalt Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Who doesn't want who anymore? I didn't understand that statement.
somedude81 Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 That's definitely what I was getting at Like I said, I don't like guys who are considered "bad," I just don't like boring. Take this recent example: Nice guy comes up and starts talking to me. I enjoy talking to him, until he starts calling me "beautiful" (after a couple of hours) and starts gushing all over me. Saying how much he wants to take me out, and how I'm so amazing and great and all this crap. After a little while of him doing this, I started getting really irritated. This guy barely even knew me, yet I wouldn't be surprised if the next words that came out of his mouth were "you're the girl of my dreams" because he was on the fast track to that. I enjoyed hearing that he'd treat me right, and him saying that he wanted to buy me flowers and take me on a romantic date - that part I liked. I just didn't appreciate his obsessive attention after what - a few hours of "knowing" me? It came across more as desperate, creepy, and immature than romantic and "nice." I completely agree with you there. The guy was obviously trying too hard to please you. There is a difference between nice and too nice. I prefer the guy who I can talk to, and joke around with at first. Who isn't afraid to let his sarcasm show, and isn't hanging onto every word I say. Who doesn't make it seem like I'm the girl of his dreams within the first (few) encounter(s). Let me work at getting your attention and your affection a bit. Show me that I'm at least a little "special" and that you don't treat every single girl like you're treating me (which is hopefully decently). But the working at getting my attention and affection part is difficult. In essence you are saying you want to chase and that you don't want a guy who is interested. That just doesn't make any sense because men are the hunters. How can I chase a girl and then have her chase me? I by no means want a bad guy. That was my ex..and I don't want another one of him. I just want a guy who is more fun and exciting to be around rather than a sheer bore by throwing himself all over me. It seems like there is a missing level from being fun and exciting to throwing himself all over you.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 When many of these women become then they become bitter and hate all men because of what the bad boys did to them and they make the good guys pay for their sins. If you look at most women with a misandrist mentality they spend a good portion of their younger years chasing after jerks and now have heaps of emotional baggage. I agree with this fully. I've seen this day in and day out here in NYC. This place is loaded with bitter women, usually in their 30s, that's the prime for the angry mentality. Might be smart to stick with much younger women in their late teens, early 20s whose hopes haven't been "crushed" yet.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I agree with this fully. I've seen this day in and day out here in NYC. This place is loaded with bitter women, usually in their 30s, that's the prime for the angry mentality. Might be smart to stick with much younger women in their late teens, early 20s whose hopes haven't been "crushed" yet. Can you blame a man for not wanting to carry these women's baggage?
Shaun-Dro Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 That's definitely what I was getting at Like I said, I don't like guys who are considered "bad," I just don't like boring. Take this recent example: Nice guy comes up and starts talking to me. I enjoy talking to him, until he starts calling me "beautiful" (after a couple of hours) and starts gushing all over me. Saying how much he wants to take me out, and how I'm so amazing and great and all this crap. After a little while of him doing this, I started getting really irritated. This guy barely even knew me, yet I wouldn't be surprised if the next words that came out of his mouth were "you're the girl of my dreams" because he was on the fast track to that. I enjoyed hearing that he'd treat me right, and him saying that he wanted to buy me flowers and take me on a romantic date - that part I liked. I just didn't appreciate his obsessive attention after what - a few hours of "knowing" me? It came across more as desperate, creepy, and immature than romantic and "nice." I prefer the guy who I can talk to, and joke around with at first. Who isn't afraid to let his sarcasm show, and isn't hanging onto every word I say. Who doesn't make it seem like I'm the girl of his dreams within the first (few) encounter(s). Let me work at getting your attention and your affection a bit. Show me that I'm at least a little "special" and that you don't treat every single girl like you're treating me (which is hopefully decently). I by no means want a bad guy. That was my ex..and I don't want another one of him. I just want a guy who is more fun and exciting to be around rather than a sheer bore by throwing himself all over me. How often do you get guys like that? You know, the ones that bore you so much by telling you how much they like you, etc? And what makes a "good guy" more fun to you where he doesn't have to get drunk, act stupid, dance on top of a table, you get my drift?
Lilmisus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 How often do you get guys like that? You know, the ones that bore you so much by telling you how much they like you, etc? And what makes a "good guy" more fun to you where he doesn't have to get drunk, act stupid, dance on top of a table, you get my drift? Well, that guy was definitely a one of a kind case for me that happened recently The main guys that annoy me, are the persistent ones. There's one guy at my new job, who's always coming up to me, asking how I am, and other random questions, and is always trying to get me to hug him or whatever. I've tried to make it very clear that he's a nice guy and all..but I just am not interested. I even told him that. He doesn't get it though..and every time he sees me he's always like "Hiiiii Lilmisus...how are you? What are you doing tonight?" in his creepy little voice. I just ignore him now, actually..and he still doesn't get it. And I don't drink. So...The whole "get drunk and act stupid" thing isn't a turn on for me. I just enjoy a guy who I can talk to, joke around with, and who isn't afraid to be himself. Don't be (too) stupid, but don't try too hard either. But the working at getting my attention and affection part is difficult. In essence you are saying you want to chase and that you don't want a guy who is interested. That just doesn't make any sense because men are the hunters. How can I chase a girl and then have her chase me?Here's the thing, for me. I like to get to know a guy at first. I don't want him all over me, and I don't want to be all over him. I want it to be like..two friends who are obviously into each other, who are just taking it slow. Don't throw yourself all over me right away..save it. But also don't try to be the "nice guy" who is all respectful, and watches what he says. Be yourself. Find a way to make me think that I'm not the first girl to give you a second glance in the past ten years. And I don't mean it in a way to play games..just..I don't want to feel like I'm the last resort for a guy since every other girl turned him down, ya know? Like I said..I like a guy who can be fun, and who makes me wonder "is he into me..?" and makes me try to work for his attention, therefore making his "chase" all the more meaningful for me as well. Don't be overly nice and don't try too hard, but don't be a douche either. There definitely is a great middle ground to find and stand on. What I'm trying to say is a confusing mess, I know..in my head it makes sense though
Dust Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Who labels these guys who get the girl bad? I have a girl, my friends all have girls. Does that make us bad because the self appointed prophet said so? What makes the guy who can never get the girl so great? Is it because his friends and family said so? Is it because the girl who rejected him said he was “nice.” The way I see it guys who get girls aren’t necessarily or even typically bad. I also don’t see this great multitude of quality men who can’t get a girl. It’s all a myth. Yes some bad ass take no **** guy will probably be able to get girls. (he’s cool) Some guy who’s greatest tactic to seducing a woman is saying thank you, please, and your welcome is also probably going to be boring. (He also might have a temper and beat women given the chance who says he’s so great just cause he can’t get a gf) You get my point hopefully.
TheLawmaker Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I can't imagine anybody who would hit a girl, call her names, emotionally abuse her, or be controlling or power hungry in a relationship, would be considered a "good guy" by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sorry, Dust, I'm just not seeing it. That being said, not every woman goes for a bad boy. But the ones that do tend to be much less attractive than the ones who do. Stupidity and physical attractiveness seems to go hand in hand when it comes to women.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Well, that guy was definitely a one of a kind case for me that happened recently The main guys that annoy me, are the persistent ones. There's one guy at my new job, who's always coming up to me, asking how I am, and other random questions, and is always trying to get me to hug him or whatever. I've tried to make it very clear that he's a nice guy and all..but I just am not interested. I even told him that. He doesn't get it though..and every time he sees me he's always like "Hiiiii Lilmisus...how are you? What are you doing tonight?" in his creepy little voice. I just ignore him now, actually..and he still doesn't get it. And I don't drink. So...The whole "get drunk and act stupid" thing isn't a turn on for me. I just enjoy a guy who I can talk to, joke around with, and who isn't afraid to be himself. Don't be (too) stupid, but don't try too hard either. Here's the thing, for me. I like to get to know a guy at first. I don't want him all over me, and I don't want to be all over him. I want it to be like..two friends who are obviously into each other, who are just taking it slow. Don't throw yourself all over me right away..save it. But also don't try to be the "nice guy" who is all respectful, and watches what he says. Be yourself. Find a way to make me think that I'm not the first girl to give you a second glance in the past ten years. And I don't mean it in a way to play games..just..I don't want to feel like I'm the last resort for a guy since every other girl turned him down, ya know? Like I said..I like a guy who can be fun, and who makes me wonder "is he into me..?" and makes me try to work for his attention, therefore making his "chase" all the more meaningful for me as well. Don't be overly nice and don't try too hard, but don't be a douche either. There definitely is a great middle ground to find and stand on. What I'm trying to say is a confusing mess, I know..in my head it makes sense though Sorry, but your opinion of what you want is another carbon copy of what other women say, no more or less. I was hoping for something a little bit more informative? I guess I swung the bat and missed on this one .
Lilmisus Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Sorry, but your opinion of what you want is another carbon copy of what other women say, no more or less. I was hoping for something a little bit more informative? I guess I swung the bat and missed on this one . Hopefully that wasn't meant as an insult What do you really want to hear? That I know specifics of what I want in a guy? Truth is - no one really knows. I just know what I don't want in a guy.
Dust Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I can't imagine anybody who would hit a girl, call her names, emotionally abuse her, or be controlling or power hungry in a relationship, would be considered a "good guy" by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sorry, Dust, I'm just not seeing it. That being said, not every woman goes for a bad boy. But the ones that do tend to be much less attractive than the ones who do. Stupidity and physical attractiveness seems to go hand in hand when it comes to women. You prove my point exactly. We’re talking two different things here. That’s not a bad boy. That’s an abuser. The abuser can be a priest abusing children. It can be an accountant or nerdy scientist who goes home and abuses his wife/gf. This guy may have never got a date until he was 40 for all we know. This shows that the only thing you use to consider being a bad boy is having a gf/wife. Of course there are women being abused out there. Does that some how mean that the men who do bad with women don’t abuse. My point is the accountant or nerdy scientist who just got his first gf at age 40 probably has more of a chance of being abusive due to likely being emotionally retarded. (not necessarily but likely) I’m not trying to say a scientist or accountant or man who does bad with women is more likely to abuse. I’m just trying to point out how you are talking out of your ass. You use one criteria to separate Bad guy and nice guy. Whether they do well with women. I find the opposite to be true. Stupidity and physical attractiveness seem to go hand and hand when it comes to women? I couldn’t find that more wrong. I find a woman smart enough to eat healthy and find time to take care of her body in this hectic world more then ever shows signs of intelligence. I hear it said all the time the poor are more likely to be fat. Now if you are using the criteria that you personally can’t get attractive women there for they are stupid and must be dating abusers that would make you the silly one. I would recommend snapping out of this self pitying way of viewing the world. It can only hurt you.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Hopefully that wasn't meant as an insult What do you really want to hear? That I know specifics of what I want in a guy? Truth is - no one really knows. I just know what I don't want in a guy. Honestly from my experience, the things you've stated up above are often from women who are forever single and never really give a guy a shot, like they rule him out quickly over some preconceived notion that he likes you too much too soon, and other petty nonsense. Us men never do that! At least I never do. If I like a girl, I like her, period. I don't find that fair of you, especially where the guy hasn't done anything bad to offend you yet. Some guys feel that persistence with a girl works wonders if he keeps at it. However, if you're not physically attracted to him, then that would make more sense. I can't tell you how many times I've been guilty of persistence and it blew up in my face. Or when I sat back and didn't do much, and yet the girl, as well, did squat in return. One of the reasons I'm still single now. Women refuse to step it up when giving the opportunity to! They leave it all on the man and then shout WE WANT EQUALITY! I just feel, Lilmisus, you're still pretty young and is looking for the perfect guy to meet this aforementioned criteria of check marks and minuses. It's wrong. And it contributes to the high singles rate we have today. You can agree or disagree with me, it's just my opinion on the matter.
TheLawmaker Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 You prove my point exactly. We’re talking two different things here. That’s not a bad boy. That’s an abuser. The abuser can be a priest abusing children. It can be an accountant or nerdy scientist who goes home and abuses his wife/gf. This guy may have never got a date until he was 40 for all we know. This shows that the only thing you use to consider being a bad boy is having a gf/wife. Of course there are women being abused out there. Does that some how mean that the men who do bad with women don’t abuse. My point is the accountant or nerdy scientist who just got his first gf at age 40 probably has more of a chance of being abusive due to likely being emotionally retarded. (not necessarily but likely) I’m not trying to say a scientist or accountant or man who does bad with women is more likely to abuse. I’m just trying to point out how you are talking out of your ass. You use one criteria to separate Bad guy and nice guy. Whether they do well with women. I find the opposite to be true. Stupidity and physical attractiveness seem to go hand and hand when it comes to women? I couldn’t find that more wrong. I find a woman smart enough to eat healthy and find time to take care of her body in this hectic world more then ever shows signs of intelligence. I hear it said all the time the poor are more likely to be fat. Now if you are using the criteria that you personally can’t get attractive women there for they are stupid and must be dating abusers that would make you the silly one. I would recommend snapping out of this self pitying way of viewing the world. It can only hurt you. Then the question is, why do so many women love abusers? Abuser, Bad Boy, it's pretty much the same thing. A good guy, who isn't a pussy and has a backbone, doesn't have to be a bad boy/abuser in order to get women.
Nexus One Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 I by no means want a bad guy. That was my ex..and I don't want another one of him. I just want a guy who is more fun and exciting to be around rather than a sheer bore by throwing himself all over me. Not to take a jab at you Lilmisus, but (quality) guys that have something to offer in terms of personality often also like to see something in return regarding personality. The thing is, girls that fall for bad boys and players are often quite boring themselves, as they tend to have superficial and one dimensional personalities. The advantage for many girls that hit on bad boys and players is that those guys are easily accessible when it comes to obtaining "fun". Easy in the sense that girls don't have to bring anything to the table themselves in terms of an interesting personality, because bad boys and players don't hang around you for your personality, they gravitate towards easily accessible p*ssy. That's why I mentioned earlier that girls that gravitate towards bad boys and players are often not very interesting as they tend to have superficial and one dimensional personalities. They can offer sex and bad boys and players will take that bait, but often they can't offer much more. And there's where the problem starts when those girls want to get serious, because quality guys that have something going for themselves in multiple ways, like looks, personality, intelligence and a career they tend to want a woman to bring something to the table too. And sheer hotness most often is not going to cut it. And there is another problem for girls who fall for bad boys and players, namely reputation. Players have huge social networks, it's actually a challenge to find a girl that hasn't been involved with them. Most girls do not think about their reputation when they get involved with bad boys and players. And players tend to not be merciful when it comes to spreading the word amongst guys. Once you're considered a sl*t, then it's pretty hard to be considered as girlfriend material.
Dust Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Then the question is, why do so many women love abusers? Abuser, Bad Boy, it's pretty much the same thing. A good guy, who isn't a pussy and has a backbone, doesn't have to be a bad boy/abuser in order to get women. A lot of women are very abusive. As far as physical abuse goes most women are smaller and less physically capable then the man they are dating. By your logic that would mean men only want date abusive women because in fact there are abusive women out there. The fact that there are abusive men in the world is neither here nor there. Like I said just cause a guy is on here venting about how nice he is and how all the bad guys get dates only makes him more likely to be abusive. (not implying you or any guy on this site is abusive just that the fact you have trouble dating doesn’t mean you’re not.) There are plenty of women who date poor men. Would you believe women are into poor guys. I would say you are using this flawed logic to say women like abusive men because you heard on tv or from a friend about and abusive guy with a gf/wife. It’s like when some one posted the article about the guy fused to a chair who had a gf. The guy got so fat and was so poorly taken care of by his gf that he fused to his chair. You can’t point to messed up things and say oh girls like that. A good guy with a backbone will be a good catch. A guy who feels sorry for himself and takes the jaded view women enjoy being abused is a bad catch. Do you see what I’m saying here? I want you to have an "ah ha!" moment
SxB Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 Women are just attracted to them. Women like to have fun and not be stressed out. Bad boys do that for them. Some of the men on this forum need to losen up. 1. Woman who CHOOSE to stay in abusive relationships are on a power high themselves, those relationships are a power struggle. The Woman isn't a victim or innocent 2. STOP judging the bigger picture using nice/bad 3. Do you consider yourself a nice person, if the answer is yes, then why? and tell me more about how you act with females and what your views are on them. Mention all pro's and cons you feel about females 4. Shortly explain to me why would you dress well when you go to a ritzy Night Club?
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