Here we go again...

[Hazyhead]

Hi all,

 

I haven't been around Loveshack much of late, have been moving forward and doing well. My life is finally falling into place and I feel (or felt, rather) like I had left the demon that is the affair in the past. It's six months since contact and I now don't think of him in the same way anymore - I kind of pity him, to be honest, a man that indulges himself in mistakes and misery.

 

Anyway, I have a friend, not a close one - but she knew what happened through somebody else and to be honest, she's a bit of a drama hunter, that follows xMM on Twitter (he is kind of big in TV, behind the scenes) and last night she sent me print screens off her phone of what he was posting. He made reference to the phrase 'Revenge is a dish best served cold' in the first then tweeted further about the man I've started seeing, about him not being my first choice blah, blah, blah. It was all done without naming names, but I think he's hoping I'll see it as he used particular phrases that we used to use and referred to this new man by his nickname. Oh, and in his last one he mentioned that it wasn't over. This morning when I actually read the message (she sent it late) I logged in to check for myself to find that he had deleted them.

 

Basically, my gut tells me to ignore it all, that it will blow over, but I can't shake the worry of him coming back to hurt me - in whatever way he plans. I can't be doing with this now, after doing so well and starting to feel really good about myself again. I also don't want to fall into the trap of checking on things he writes on social network sites, which is something I did after dday, but weaned myself away.

 

As for my friend, I haven't responded yet. I thought about just sending her a message to say that if she chooses to follow him, that's her choice, but don't send me any details of it. I'm sure she is just rubbing her hands waiting for a scandal.

 

So, I'd love to hear some advice about whether you think I'm doing the right thing ignoring it.

 

The gift that keeps on giving, huh.

[Silly_Girl]

Oh my goodness. Ignore it Hazy!!! Can you think of one positive thing that could come out of approaching him or engaging with him????

 

And your friend. I had one like that two years ago. Our fellas (well my ex and her SO) are best friends and she used to feed back all sorts of stuff. I gently explained how glad I was to be out of the drama and unless it involves potenti harm to me I'd really rather not hear it, and she's been fab ever since.

 

If he's f'k'd up and playing teenage games let him wallow in it, I say. Think of the important person. YOU!!!

[Hazyhead]

Oh my goodness. Ignore it Hazy!!! Can you think of one positive thing that could come out of approaching him or engaging with him????

 

And your friend. I had one like that two years ago. Our fellas (well my ex and her SO) are best friends and she used to feed back all sorts of stuff. I gently explained how glad I was to be out of the drama and unless it involves potenti harm to me I'd really rather not hear it, and she's been fab ever since.

 

If he's f'k'd up and playing teenage games let him wallow in it, I say. Think of the important person. YOU!!!

 

This is my instinct too, thanks SG. I just have this vision of him attempting something cruel, and whilst I might be able to deal with that (have in the past) what if he does so to someone close to me instead? It is so juvenile of him to behave like this. So late at night he was probably drunk - but then he shows how he's reckless when he is.

 

I will tell my friend I don't want to hear it. I'm sure she'll understand and back off.

[YellowShark]

No news = no new hurt.

 

You're now seeing the "man" for what he really is instead of through fog-glasses. Ask your friend nicely to stop giving you a play by play of his Tweeting. If she's a real friend, she'll understand.

[waytogo]

This is my instinct too, thanks SG. I just have this vision of him attempting something cruel, and whilst I might be able to deal with that (have in the past) what if he does so to someone close to me instead? It is so juvenile of him to behave like this. So late at night he was probably drunk - but then he shows how he's reckless when he is.

 

I will tell my friend I don't want to hear it. I'm sure she'll understand and back off.

 

Very wise. It will probably do her good to focus on things rather than other peoples dramas also.

[White Flower]

Ignore your friend Hazy. I wonder what her purpose is anyway. Either she enjoys the drama or hopes for you two to reunite but if you're really past it just pretend you didn't get her texts.

 

xx

[OWoman]

WB Hazy! Hope you're otherwise well?

 

I'd ignore it. The fact that he'd subsequently deleted it suggests he's thought better of it and moved on. I'd leave it at that and let it die a natural death. And perhaps mention to your friend casually that you've moved on and are really no longer interested in what your xMM has for breakfast, so you'd prefer her not bothering to share his goings on with you.

[fooled once]

Hi hazy!! Tell your "friend" that you do not want or need updates about him. A true friend would know that without being told

 

You are doing great. Do not give that a-hole more space in your head. He is far from worthy of any of your time.

 

Go about your life and LIVE it!!!!

 

So glad to hear from you!!!!!

[Hazyhead]

No news = no new hurt.

 

You're now seeing the "man" for what he really is instead of through fog-glasses. Ask your friend nicely to stop giving you a play by play of his Tweeting. If she's a real friend, she'll understand.

 

That's true, he certainly lost any sparkle in my eyes, to an irretrievable degree. I'm not even angry with him anymore - don't even feel that level of passion.

 

I will ask my friend to lay off (still not responded). I can't imagine why she would continue after that.

 

Thanks YS.

 

Very wise. It will probably do her good to focus on things rather than other peoples dramas also.

 

Agreed. But some people live vicariously that way, right?

[Hazyhead]

Ignore your friend Hazy. I wonder what her purpose is anyway. Either she enjoys the drama or hopes for you two to reunite but if you're really past it just pretend you didn't get her texts.

 

xx

 

I think her motives are purely drama related. I am past it - or nearly there anyway and really don't need this setback.

 

Hope you're good, WF xx

[Hazyhead]

WB Hazy! Hope you're otherwise well?

 

I'd ignore it. The fact that he'd subsequently deleted it suggests he's thought better of it and moved on. I'd leave it at that and let it die a natural death. And perhaps mention to your friend casually that you've moved on and are really no longer interested in what your xMM has for breakfast, so you'd prefer her not bothering to share his goings on with you.

 

Hi OW I am otherwise well, thanks. Just been taking a little time away from here to get away from anything related to affairs for a while, and it has helped in what I feel are my last stages of recovery (at least I bloody hope so!). I'll away be back though!

 

I think (and hope) you're right about him deleting it meaning his sober mind thinks better of it, so am more than happy to let it die a natural death. He just scares me a bit; his ruthlessness and unpredictability. And the references to revenge and it not being the end. Jeez.

 

I might just tell my friend your exact words

 

Hope you're good

[Hazyhead]

Hi hazy!! Tell your "friend" that you do not want or need updates about him. A true friend would know that without being told

 

You are doing great. Do not give that a-hole more space in your head. He is far from worthy of any of your time.

 

Go about your life and LIVE it!!!!

 

So glad to hear from you!!!!!

 

Hey FO

 

She isn't a true friend, really. More a friend of a friend. (And more the reason not to get involved IMO!)

 

I was, and hopefully still am, doing well. You're right, he's not worthy of any of the time in my head. I wonder whether that's his reason for doing this, hoping I'll cyber stalk him (like he has admitted in the past he does) and see it. In which case the azzface has won as he has me worried. I don't know.

 

Hope you're well, hon x

[Hazyhead]

Is there any way your friend could have been warning you? You say he's unpredictable and ruthless, was your friend trying to help you out in this instance?

 

Just asking, you never know.

 

Or maybe I wonder if your exMM knows about your friend and knew you'd be told about his Tweets? Even more reason to ignore.

 

You're obviously doing really well, I hope nothing else comes of this.

 

If it was a close friend then I wouldn't question her motives at all, and I'd agree with you, but she's a bit of a gossip mongerer so I certainly don't want to involve her. Although if she is being helpful then I do appreciate it.

 

The bolded hadn't occurred to me and could so be it! It's way for him to get my attention and stir up worry. I guess it's a good thing he deleted them, showing he might not be serious about it but was ranting in drunken state.

 

Thank you Turnstone. Hope you're doing well too

[jj33]

Hey Hazy. Like the others said tell her you dont want to hear anything about him. And why is this chick following him on twitter anyway. Not a friend.

 

You say he could hurt you. If you dont have anything to do with him is there anything he could really do? Id keep your fb page and other stuff private so that he cant see what is going on in your life for awhile.

 

Otherwise I would just ignore him. Been there done that you are happy now with someone else.

[TurboGirl]

My first thought was that "friend" the drama hunter is not a friend. Those people take great joy in stirring things up & getting others all in a twist.

 

Please, ignore the things she sent to you. Don't worry about it... it will fade away. Don't contact the xMM whatever you do, please!

 

Also... set your social networks to private. If this "friend" sends you any more info... I would ask her, why she is sending this? Your relationship with xMM is OVER and you don't want to see/hear anything about him any longer.

[spice4life]

Hi all,

 

I haven't been around Loveshack much of late, have been moving forward and doing well. My life is finally falling into place and I feel (or felt, rather) like I had left the demon that is the affair in the past. It's six months since contact and I now don't think of him in the same way anymore - I kind of pity him, to be honest, a man that indulges himself in mistakes and misery.

 

Anyway, I have a friend, not a close one - but she knew what happened through somebody else and to be honest, she's a bit of a drama hunter, that follows xMM on Twitter (he is kind of big in TV, behind the scenes) and last night she sent me print screens off her phone of what he was posting. He made reference to the phrase 'Revenge is a dish best served cold' in the first then tweeted further about the man I've started seeing, about him not being my first choice blah, blah, blah. It was all done without naming names, but I think he's hoping I'll see it as he used particular phrases that we used to use and referred to this new man by his nickname. Oh, and in his last one he mentioned that it wasn't over. This morning when I actually read the message (she sent it late) I logged in to check for myself to find that he had deleted them.

 

Basically, my gut tells me to ignore it all, that it will blow over, but I can't shake the worry of him coming back to hurt me - in whatever way he plans. I can't be doing with this now, after doing so well and starting to feel really good about myself again. I also don't want to fall into the trap of checking on things he writes on social network sites, which is something I did after dday, but weaned myself away.

 

As for my friend, I haven't responded yet. I thought about just sending her a message to say that if she chooses to follow him, that's her choice, but don't send me any details of it. I'm sure she is just rubbing her hands waiting for a scandal.

 

So, I'd love to hear some advice about whether you think I'm doing the right thing ignoring it.

 

The gift that keeps on giving, huh.

 

First and foremost....ignore ignore IGNORE. What you don't see can't hurt you. Also, deinitely tell this friend you are not interested in those updates because you simply do ot care anymore. And THEN stop calling her a friend...she is not a friend! Friends do not try to stir up drama in their friendships. PERIOD. I would block her and stop worrying about xAP and what he is up to. Who cares? He is showing his true colors by tweeting stuff like that anyway. It means he is a manipulative vindictive POS. Wow! And who cares if he is big behind the scenes in TV? Just because he may "semi" celebrity status in no way means he is above anyone else. He eats sleeps and uses the porcelan (sp?) throne like the rest of us. He knows your weaknesses and he is trying to push your buttons, that's all. He was probably feeling like shiz and wanted to bring you down with him.

 

Recognize this and focus on those weaknesses he is exploiting because they are what lead you down this path to begin with. Understand that they are what allowed you to let this guy in to begin with. More over, he saw them in you, knew you were vulnerable and decided to take advantage. Instead of worrying about what he is going to do, work on yourself so you can continue to grow and feel good. Again...ignore his crap and it can't hurt you. And definitely get rid of this friend! Friends don't do that. Creating that kind of drama is almost sociopathic. Think about it, why would a friend try to upset you like that? The answer is, they wouldn't! They would try and protect you instead.

 

Keep working on yourself and people like this won't wonder into your life anymore.

[MissBee]

Hi all,

 

I haven't been around Loveshack much of late, have been moving forward and doing well. My life is finally falling into place and I feel (or felt, rather) like I had left the demon that is the affair in the past. It's six months since contact and I now don't think of him in the same way anymore - I kind of pity him, to be honest, a man that indulges himself in mistakes and misery.

 

Anyway, I have a friend, not a close one - but she knew what happened through somebody else and to be honest, she's a bit of a drama hunter, that follows xMM on Twitter (he is kind of big in TV, behind the scenes) and last night she sent me print screens off her phone of what he was posting. He made reference to the phrase 'Revenge is a dish best served cold' in the first then tweeted further about the man I've started seeing, about him not being my first choice blah, blah, blah. It was all done without naming names, but I think he's hoping I'll see it as he used particular phrases that we used to use and referred to this new man by his nickname. Oh, and in his last one he mentioned that it wasn't over. This morning when I actually read the message (she sent it late) I logged in to check for myself to find that he had deleted them.

 

Basically, my gut tells me to ignore it all, that it will blow over, but I can't shake the worry of him coming back to hurt me - in whatever way he plans. I can't be doing with this now, after doing so well and starting to feel really good about myself again. I also don't want to fall into the trap of checking on things he writes on social network sites, which is something I did after dday, but weaned myself away.

 

As for my friend, I haven't responded yet. I thought about just sending her a message to say that if she chooses to follow him, that's her choice, but don't send me any details of it. I'm sure she is just rubbing her hands waiting for a scandal.

 

So, I'd love to hear some advice about whether you think I'm doing the right thing ignoring it.

 

The gift that keeps on giving, huh.

 

This "friend" of yours is no friend at all and I believe you should set a clearly defined boundary with her. You could go the passive route and ignore it and she MAY assume you didn't see and continue bothering you with that type of info, so I think you should be direct and tell her exactly what you said you would. She can choose to follow him; however, you have ZERO interest in his life and would appreciate her not sending info about him to you. If she violates and continues to do so, then cut her off as she clearly doesn't respect your boundaries and is selfish and needs to find a life and grow up!

 

Anyway, you seem like you're doing well and have your wits about you. This man doesn't seem harmful, just upset and hurt and it is normal that post breakup people go on all sorts of social networking rants. I'd say continue living your life, keep that chick at arm's length and don't even give this too much of your energy.

[Hazyhead]

My first thought was that "friend" the drama hunter is not a friend. Those people take great joy in stirring things up & getting others all in a twist.

 

Please, ignore the things she sent to you. Don't worry about it... it will fade away. Don't contact the xMM whatever you do, please!

 

Also... set your social networks to private. If this "friend" sends you any more info... I would ask her, why she is sending this? Your relationship with xMM is OVER and you don't want to see/hear anything about him any longer.

 

Thanks Turbo. Mine are all set to private - always have been because of my job so I'm not sure where he's getting his information from. Doesn't really matter I guess. I haven't contacted him and won't do. It's weird that the idea of having to do so sickens me; total contrast to how I used to feel.

 

First and foremost....ignore ignore IGNORE. What you don't see can't hurt you. Also, deinitely tell this friend you are not interested in those updates because you simply do ot care anymore. And THEN stop calling her a friend...she is not a friend! Friends do not try to stir up drama in their friendships. PERIOD. I would block her and stop worrying about xAP and what he is up to. Who cares? He is showing his true colors by tweeting stuff like that anyway. It means he is a manipulative vindictive POS. Wow! And who cares if he is big behind the scenes in TV? Just because he may "semi" celebrity status in no way means he is above anyone else. He eats sleeps and uses the porcelan (sp?) throne like the rest of us. He knows your weaknesses and he is trying to push your buttons, that's all. He was probably feeling like shiz and wanted to bring you down with him.

 

Recognize this and focus on those weaknesses he is exploiting because they are what lead you down this path to begin with. Understand that they are what allowed you to let this guy in to begin with. More over, he saw them in you, knew you were vulnerable and decided to take advantage. Instead of worrying about what he is going to do, work on yourself so you can continue to grow and feel good. Again...ignore his crap and it can't hurt you. And definitely get rid of this friend! Friends don't do that. Creating that kind of drama is almost sociopathic. Think about it, why would a friend try to upset you like that? The answer is, they wouldn't! They would try and protect you instead.

 

Keep working on yourself and people like this won't wonder into your life anymore.

 

It's not because I care about him or what he thinks (trust me, I saw his true colours a looong time ago!), spice, he threatened me in the past - so I was worried he was going down that route again. Whomever the individual is, it's not pleasant to have a threat hanging over you. To be honest, I don't think he'd have the balls to go through with anything that has a chance of backfiring in his face. What you say about him feeling like shiz and wanting to bring me down too makes a lot of sense. Azzwipe.

 

I've told my friend not to give me any more info. She was quite sorry actually, but at least she knows now - if she's looking for some drama, she'll have to go elsewhere. And I'm sure she will. She's far from being a close friend so I won't have to listen to it when she does.

 

Thanks Spice

 

This "friend" of yours is no friend at all and I believe you should set a clearly defined boundary with her. You could go the passive route and ignore it and she MAY assume you didn't see and continue bothering you with that type of info, so I think you should be direct and tell her exactly what you said you would. She can choose to follow him; however, you have ZERO interest in his life and would appreciate her not sending info about him to you. If she violates and continues to do so, then cut her off as she clearly doesn't respect your boundaries and is selfish and needs to find a life and grow up!

 

Anyway, you seem like you're doing well and have your wits about you. This man doesn't seem harmful, just upset and hurt and it is normal that post breakup people go on all sorts of social networking rants. I'd say continue living your life, keep that chick at arm's length and don't even give this too much of your energy.

 

Thanks MB. I am doing well. Back to my usual self now I think. I do understand how he could feel low, given what must be happening to him, but typical to him he chooses to deflect blame and get angry. I guess whilst he's doing that he's gonna feel low for some time.

 

And yes, she's at gadget-arm's length now

[spice4life]

That's great hazy! Sorry if I went overboard regarding the friend, I have a very low tolerance for people who seek out drama...hence the reaction. Stay strong and revel in the fact that "he" is no longer your problem.

 

Best wishes.