gerib38 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 All my friends tell me GO out and date , it will help u get over him I am not sure that would be good for me ,. i seem to compare everyone to him and how he made me feel although he ended up breaking my heart and making me feel like crap... i just feel like i have to get over this to move on with someone else , not that the first guy i meet will b the one, but i feel like with him still in my heart i dont give anyone a fair chance , i guess everyone is different , what are your opinions on this ?
Gentlegirl Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 While he's lingering in your heart, I guess your'e not ready to date somebody else. It's not fair to the prospective new person. If you still feel an attachment to him.... keep yourself to yourself until it goes away, and it will. I have 6 months NC now and am beginning to feel ok but not nearly ready for another elationship yet. Lots of issues left over. Gentlegirl
Hazyhead Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 All my friends tell me GO out and date , it will help u get over him I am not sure that would be good for me ,. i seem to compare everyone to him and how he made me feel although he ended up breaking my heart and making me feel like crap... i just feel like i have to get over this to move on with someone else , not that the first guy i meet will b the one, but i feel like with him still in my heart i dont give anyone a fair chance , i guess everyone is different , what are your opinions on this ? I don't think you're ready, geri. Whilst you are still thinking about him so much, and with such strong feelings, nobody else will be able to truly connect with you. BUT, I don't think it's just that issue that makes me think you're not there yet - it's more about YOU. I think it will do you some good to look into the whys of the affair and address any impact it might have had on your self-esteem. If you can find ways to help you get over him without romantic involvement then you're healing will be far deeper and stronger because you will be looking to yourself for answers and strength, rather than relying on somebody else. When I was in your situation my friends were awesome - they were there for girly nights, trips to gym classes, phone wailings - anything I asked, and my family were too. This helped. However, in learning to trust myself again and buiding my self-esteem I had to find comfort in my own company and ways to challenge myself away from moping. Throw your time into you. It is a process that sucks at first, and for some time, but stick with it. You can make it geri and, when you do, those dates will be sooo much more fun Hugs, Hazy
Author gerib38 Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 your right Hazy, i do need time to heal, i know my feelings for him were real and i believe he loved me , but i guess he thought it would go on forever with me not expecting anything... it has effected my self esteem , seems like all i have thought about is ... whats wrong with me why would i settle for that kind of relationship , but i know physically there is nothing wrong with me but emotinally im a wreck i will get there thanks for your kind words and encouragement
YellowShark Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 People definitely need a cooling-off period to grieve over the loss of the last relationship. It's healthy to do so. But why not go out and date? It's not like you're gonna marry them is it? Just don't commit to anything serious, take it slow and easy, just go have some fun. Unhook your wagon from the "old guy" and explore. You might find that dating opens a lot of new doors for you, and closes a very painful one.
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