Daaanz Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 So lately me and my ex have been talking a bit after a lot of stuff happened, arguments and such, we saw each other tuesday and he said he loved me still and really wanted us to be together, however I found out that he'd been with a girl since me and obviously that hurt me so I left it at that. Anyway the day before yesterday, he got really upset that we'd broken up (just over a month ago) and yesterday he also cancelled the holiday, I think he felt this was the only tie he had left to me. He told me he was really upset and all these things and that he was sitting on the park bench where we first met, naturally I gave in and told him how much I wanted to be with him there and we arranged to meet tuesday, and while he was upset we got to the point where we were talking about getting back together, however the next morning he said he'd slept on it and didn't want to get back with me but wanted to be my friend. I was completely crushed and felt messed around as I really thought there was a chance . I told him I wouldn't be seeing him tuesday, and as I had just got my new number, I told him I wouldn't be using the old one anymore but did not offer to give him the newone. Since, he's been sending me messages on facebook asking for the number and saying he'd like to see me, he's sent the messages all more than once and I woke up to this one: I lay here in bed thinking of nothing but you, I can't sleep because of you, you're running through me still, not through my head, through me, through my blood my heart everything, you are too much apart of me for me to loose I can't loose you, not completely I'm sorry I cancelled holiday, i wish I hadn't so I could be with you, please see me on tuesday, please I beg you I want there still to be eachother there for one another because without you in my life I feel like nothing xx What do I do? What do I reply, do I? I want to because I feel upset for him. I want him in my life too but I'm sure he won't want a relationship. Its really upsetting me and I feel bad for not replying but I don't know what to say and I feel scared of getting hurt by him again. Also I TOLD him to cancel the holiday, so why is he apologising for doing so?
Exit Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) Yeah, he definitely worded his messages carefully to say he doesn't want to lose you completely, but he did not say he had changed his mind about wanting to try a relationship again. I guess saying nothing back would be "easiest" and what most of the NC believers around here would tell you to do. But I see it this way. This is exactly what he should be feeling. He needs to realize he is risking not having you in his life at all. Realize this gives you a bit of an upper hand. If I were in your shoes, I would say something like "yeah, well the pain that you feel about not having me at all is the same pain I would feel to try to be friends with you and not give our relationship a chance again. Do you want me to feel that way just so you can feel good and call me a friend? If you love someone let them go. If I have to struggle to accept that our relationship is history, you can afford to lose a friend." Once you are healed and over him you can try to be friends if you want. It's not that we're being spiteful when we tell the dumper "no I won't be your friend!". They just don't realize that it hurts us. Edited June 4, 2011 by Exit
Author Daaanz Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 Yeah, he definitely worded his messages carefully to say he doesn't want to lose you completely, but he did not say he had changed his mind about wanting to try a relationship again. I guess saying nothing back would be "easiest" and what most of the NC believers around here would tell you to do. But I see it this way. This is exactly what he should be feeling. He needs to realize he is risking not having you in his life at all. Realize this gives you a bit of an upper hand. If I were in your shoes, I would say something like "yeah, well the pain that you feel about not having me at all is the same pain I would feel to try to be friends with you and not give our relationship a chance again. Do you want me to feel that way just so you can feel good and call me a friend? If you love someone let them go. If I have to struggle to accept that our relationship is history, you can afford to lose a friend." Once you are healed and over him you can try to be friends if you want. It's not that we're being spiteful when we tell the dumper "no I won't be your friend!". They just don't realize that it hurts us. This is great thankyou, I basically copied and pasted what you said with a few adjustments. I know he'll reply like he doesn't care, but he's shown me he still does which makes me feel better. Thanks a lot!
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