vsmini Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Backstory: Ex did some downright dirty, shady stuff, in addition screwed me over by standing me up for a wedding and dumped me the day before my birthday last year. God did that suck. I also didn't make it easier on myself by being a total moron and not getting into NC right away (I waited about 4 months to do that) Feeling good now that so much time has gone by. Still harbor some mild anger towards him but it doesn't consume me and I think about him less and less. 8 months later - NC whatsoever and I get this text from him: "Happy Birthday - I hope it was better than last years, Ha! Sorry - bad joke" Ummmm yea - Go F*ck Yourself. I haven't replied but all this anger (that I now realize must have never totally gone away because now it's BACK) is coming back to me and it's just.....infuriating. He's in his late twenties - this is just a nasty and immature thing to send. My Birthday sucked last year because of all of his drama and now he feels the need to try to bring it back again...and what a great date to pick. Soothing words so I don't absolutely lose my Sh*t in the next few hours?
PelicanPete Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Don't stoop to his level. He probably said that because he knew it would get a rise out of you. Show him you deserve way better than his trashy attitude and don't even acknowledge him. If you get down with the dogs, you're gonna get fleas.
WTRanger Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Saying nothing is a far better response than all of the hell and fury you could bring. Just ignore it. He's being a dildo.
TaraMaiden Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Saying nothing is a far better response than all of the hell and fury you could bring. Just ignore it. He's being a dildo. This is so wrong. At least dildos have a useful function, can be fun and are a great accessory. How can you compare this pointless waste of space jerk to a dildo? I mean to say - really!!! Don't even give him a breath's hint that you even realised he still exists....
sinnister Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) But you have to understand the person, situation and their INTENT. Yes, it reads very bad...but there are VERY FEW PEOPLE that can be THIS evil. You may have been with him/this kind of person from the backstory..but I think it's equally more likely that you're dealing with a weak person that's a coward that is being self-effacing...and this is a backhanded/whiteflagging apology. His actions were very cruel and a lot of things on the surface do weigh towards him being the ultimate ass..but he could've easily have been very weak..or evil, weak, and a coward. The point is while it looks like something to blow a gasket over...and you'll be well justified to..it could be innocent. Does he have a history of being a dick...do you think he's more of a coward? You answer those and you'll have a better understanding on how to interpret the letter and save your sanity/anger and keep moving forward...keeping that NC. May you heal far faster than me...good luck again. Add...this is why in the court of law, they weight both actions and intent b/f levying sentence. Seems pretty clear cut most of them right? Edited June 4, 2011 by sinnister
guccimane99 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 That dildo comment was histarical. Everyone is right just ignore him hes a d and he doesnt deserve a response. He messed up and dont let him win because hes expecting a response.
Sugarkane Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Wow what a total Ahole! You must be so glad that you're not with this cowardly man anymore. I can't understand for the life of me, why dumpers do this. Man what he did was truelly low.
Lilmisus Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Some people never grow up. But you can try to look at this in a better way to keep your anger at bay: Maybe he'd been thinking about it for a while, and debated over wishing you a happy birthday to clear the air a bit, if you will. May have thought you'd appreciate a "happy birthday" text better than nothing? Didn't know the best way to go about it, so decided that the best way was to make light of the situation that he created last year, knowing you'd remember it regardless. The annoying, ass, part of him showed through more in his "happy birthday" wish more than he may have hoped to. Maybe? Possibly? Probably not. He probably just needs to grow up more, and possibly not let his buddies (probably) influence him in sending unnecessary texts like that. If it was me, I'd send him a cheerful message back saying "Thank you, your kind wishes are appreciated. I hope you're doing as great as I have been. Don't bother keeping in touch ;)"
Author vsmini Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 Thanks guys! If it was me, I'd send him a cheerful message back saying "Thank you, your kind wishes are appreciated. I hope you're doing as great as I have been. Don't bother keeping in touch " ^ very good and so tempting. And in regards to lilmisus and sin I think I can agree with you. After the text and the LS rant I started looking at it from that perspective. No - he wasn't an evil guy. Just a complete immature pr*ck that obviously wanted out of the relationship and did it in a very hurtful, cowardly and painful way. I can totally see it from that perspective. I'm too fearful of that responding to him could open a door of communication and I'm just not interested. Sure I was a fool and ignored red flags but sometimes it's hard to believe that it ended like this- me never talking to him again - I thought this guy was the one I wanted to marry. Blah - anyway- thanks very much.
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