Glove_slap Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 My first love. The girl who gave me hope in everything else. She did turn her back on me after three years and found someone else ( an older man about 21-22 ) He turned out to be a wealthy drug trafficker but they're still together. I don't even care about all that, to be honest I just zone out sometimes, like as I'm doing right now with my lids half open, my mouth wide open and just playing back this video in my back of my mind, a montage of her smiles, a montage of our happiest times. First loves never last, I accept it but doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Her birthday was 2 days ago and I didn't wish her a happy birthday. NC for 6 months and in about 20 more days it's going to be officially a year since we broke up. No matter how hard I try to forget her face its still burned in the back of my memories, no matter how hard I try to build confidence and an alpha male persona its always her I think about before I go to sleep.
Desensitized Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 My first love. The girl who gave me hope in everything else. She did turn her back on me after three years and found someone else ( an older man about 21-22 ) He turned out to be a wealthy drug trafficker but they're still together. I don't even care about all that, to be honest I just zone out sometimes, like as I'm doing right now with my lids half open, my mouth wide open and just playing back this video in my back of my mind, a montage of her smiles, a montage of our happiest times. First loves never last, I accept it but doesn't mean I'm happy about it. Her birthday was 2 days ago and I didn't wish her a happy birthday. NC for 6 months and in about 20 more days it's going to be officially a year since we broke up. No matter how hard I try to forget her face its still burned in the back of my memories, no matter how hard I try to build confidence and an alpha male persona its always her I think about before I go to sleep. I know how you feel. My ex-fiancee was also my first true love. I dated so many women before her, but she was the woman that completed me. I miss her everyday as well, but we have to play the cards we are dealt with. Life sucks sometimes, but it goes on. We can only be optimistic.
coltsfan1 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 All the memories, thoughts, hopes and dreams you will have with someone else. If I am correct you are a fairly young man. This will be a distant memory in time, now it will take a few months to years to get there but you will. I dated a girl in my teens that I was head over heals for, she slept with one of my friends!! I thought my world was going to fall apart around me, I was devastated. But I look back on it in my 30's and it is just another memory like all the high school parties and sporting events I attended. Once I met the ex that brought me here a lot of other girls in my life that I thought I loved where really just a big crush. I hope this can give you a little perspective on how YOU will change in 2-3 years.
Exit Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) Oh you will get over her some day. I completely understand if you don't believe me right now. And although a full year is a long period of time and we'd all like to be healed sooner, you aren't too late, and just because you aren't over it yet doesn't mean you won't ever be. I was the same way, When I was maybe ages 20-22 I was dating this awesome girl, thought we'd get married. She dumped me, it was horrible, I pursued her for 5 months and did everything wrong, total epitome of the horror story pathetic ex type behavior. Then I finally stopped trying to contact her and move on bit by bit. I still tortured myself thinking about her multiple times a day for a long time. I dated a new girl, still thought about my ex all the time. That relationship didn't work out. I eventually came around to dating a second girl, still thought about the original ex, not even the ex who I had just lost. But then it just finally stopped. I can go type in that girl's name on Facebook right now and see the new pretty pictures of her and see what her status says and I literally feel nothing, and if I could find the posts I made on this site from 2 years ago, you would see that I argued with everyone tooth and nail that I WOULD NEVER FORGET THIS GIRL I LOVE HER. But it happened. I'm over her. I thought I would never find that type of love again, I thought we had soooo much in common and that I would never find someone I shared so much with again. But I did, the most recent girl who I just lost a few months ago LOL. And now I'm having my own pity party telling myself all the same things, that I had so much in common with this girl, that we were gonna get married, blah blah blah. As much as I want to be depressed and sad about it, I have to spoil my own pity party because I know I've gotten through this before. Maybe I can spoil your pity party too. You're gonna be fine! You'll get there. No matter how much you want to believe that you won't. Edited June 4, 2011 by Exit
MissMoni Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Oh you will get over her some day. I completely understand if you don't believe me right now. And although a full year is a long period of time and we'd all like to be healed sooner, you aren't too late, and just because you aren't over it yet doesn't mean you won't ever be. I was the same way, When I was maybe ages 20-22 I was dating this awesome girl, thought we'd get married. She dumped me, it was horrible, I pursued her for 5 months and did everything wrong, total epitome of the horror story pathetic ex type behavior. Then I finally stopped trying to contact her and move on bit by bit. I still tortured myself thinking about her multiple times a day for a long time. I dated a new girl, still thought about my ex all the time. That relationship didn't work out. I eventually came around to dating a second girl, still thought about the original ex, not even the ex who I had just lost. But then it just finally stopped. I can go type in that girl's name on Facebook right now and see the new pretty pictures of her and see what her status says and I literally feel nothing, and if I could find the posts I made on this site from 2 years ago, you would see that I argued with everyone tooth and nail that I WOULD NEVER FORGET THIS GIRL I LOVE HER. But it happened. I'm over her. I thought I would never find that type of love again, I thought we had soooo much in common and that I would never find someone I shared so much with again. But I did, the most recent girl who I just lost a few months ago LOL. And now I'm having my own pity party telling myself all the same things, that I had so much in common with this girl, that we were gonna get married, blah blah blah. As much as I want to be depressed and sad about it, I have to spoil my own pity party because I know I've gotten through this before. Maybe I can spoil your pity party too. You're gonna be fine! You'll get there. No matter how much you want to believe that you won't. Thanks for this post, I think it sums everything up nicely and gives hope to us all. OP, the only way to get better is to cut her out completely. I know it's hard! I myself have been going back and forth for 7 months. But I think we all know deep down what we must do, we just don't do because of fear...
Author Glove_slap Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 Oh you will get over her some day. I completely understand if you don't believe me right now. And although a full year is a long period of time and we'd all like to be healed sooner, you aren't too late, and just because you aren't over it yet doesn't mean you won't ever be. I was the same way, When I was maybe ages 20-22 I was dating this awesome girl, thought we'd get married. She dumped me, it was horrible, I pursued her for 5 months and did everything wrong, total epitome of the horror story pathetic ex type behavior. Then I finally stopped trying to contact her and move on bit by bit. I still tortured myself thinking about her multiple times a day for a long time. I dated a new girl, still thought about my ex all the time. That relationship didn't work out. I eventually came around to dating a second girl, still thought about the original ex, not even the ex who I had just lost. But then it just finally stopped. I can go type in that girl's name on Facebook right now and see the new pretty pictures of her and see what her status says and I literally feel nothing, and if I could find the posts I made on this site from 2 years ago, you would see that I argued with everyone tooth and nail that I WOULD NEVER FORGET THIS GIRL I LOVE HER. But it happened. I'm over her. I thought I would never find that type of love again, I thought we had soooo much in common and that I would never find someone I shared so much with again. But I did, the most recent girl who I just lost a few months ago LOL. And now I'm having my own pity party telling myself all the same things, that I had so much in common with this girl, that we were gonna get married, blah blah blah. As much as I want to be depressed and sad about it, I have to spoil my own pity party because I know I've gotten through this before. Maybe I can spoil your pity party too. You're gonna be fine! You'll get there. No matter how much you want to believe that you won't. Thank you :')
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