jeweleestar Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I have been away from here for a couple of weeks since I was trying my hardest to not think about xmm and all the nonsense that comes with it. I have worked very hard to make myself busy and know that I am still a good person. I have read some of the threads from the past day or so and I hate that there are so many people that have been in this situation. So an update on what is going on.... I got a text message from him over Memorial Day weekend, didn't respond just shook my head and knew that he was trying to see if I would bite. I still have those moments where I wish or hope or think about how it could have been different, but I'm human and know that those moments will pass. I think what is hardest right now is that I know that all of the things that he was "waiting on to happen so we could be together" (family events) are going on right now. I am just nervous that once all of the events of right now and summer pass he will be back telling me that he is now free and available. I don't want to go down that path, and hope that if it does, I will have continued to have grown stronger during that time and not feel so weak and longing of what could have been. I don't think he will make such a statement, but he has been "checking in" on a pretty consistent basis. I think at some point he will get the picture that I AM TOO GOOD FOR HIM!!! I am glad that I am feeling stronger and more in control of the situation. For those out there thinking your life is over, trust me... it isn't! There were some days where all I could do was cry, but I don't even have an urge to waste any of MY emotions on him. Stay strong, they can't beat you down unless you let them. (Wow, I am sounding like some of the people on here that I felt were awfully abrasive at the beginning. How times change! :-)) Hope to check back in and still be feeling so good! Thank you all for reading, your comments, your support...
waytogo Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I have been away from here for a couple of weeks since I was trying my hardest to not think about xmm and all the nonsense that comes with it. I have worked very hard to make myself busy and know that I am still a good person. I have read some of the threads from the past day or so and I hate that there are so many people that have been in this situation. So an update on what is going on.... I got a text message from him over Memorial Day weekend, didn't respond just shook my head and knew that he was trying to see if I would bite. I still have those moments where I wish or hope or think about how it could have been different, but I'm human and know that those moments will pass. I think what is hardest right now is that I know that all of the things that he was "waiting on to happen so we could be together" (family events) are going on right now. I am just nervous that once all of the events of right now and summer pass he will be back telling me that he is now free and available. I don't want to go down that path, and hope that if it does, I will have continued to have grown stronger during that time and not feel so weak and longing of what could have been. I don't think he will make such a statement, but he has been "checking in" on a pretty consistent basis. I think at some point he will get the picture that I AM TOO GOOD FOR HIM!!! I am glad that I am feeling stronger and more in control of the situation. For those out there thinking your life is over, trust me... it isn't! There were some days where all I could do was cry, but I don't even have an urge to waste any of MY emotions on him. Stay strong, they can't beat you down unless you let them. (Wow, I am sounding like some of the people on here that I felt were awfully abrasive at the beginning. How times change! :-)) Hope to check back in and still be feeling so good! Thank you all for reading, your comments, your support... Good for you and your progress. Can you block his means of contacting you? That would be anothe possitive step for you. Your reward is coming dear. Won't it be nice to have a man that can introduce you to every as his partner? You are in complete control of your situation. Be proud of yourself, you deserve it.
Author jeweleestar Posted June 4, 2011 Author Posted June 4, 2011 I can't block him from contacting me on my cell. Several people encouraged me to change my number, but I am not willing to sacrifice something that has been with me for much longer than the a-hole has. It would be much more of a pain in my butt to change it than it is to delete whatever comes up when his number pops up. I had a couple people tell me that I couldn't move on until I completely removed all opportunities for him to contact me, but at some point it is about me being able to have that control. I viewed having to change my number as allowing him to win... I don't want him to win in any situation right now! Thank you for your kind words... I can't wait for those days of happiness with someone that only wants to be with me.
Silly_Girl Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Hey this sounds great JS. you sound as though you know where you're headed. Sounds like you'll be fine with whatever comes your way. If not - come back!!
AlaFlower Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 That's really good that you feel stronger now and have control over the situation. It gives the rest of us hope that we can do it too. I, myself, started NC again. It's my second try and I have to admit that this time it's going the way I want it to go. I hope I won't fail. Your post gives me hope
Author jeweleestar Posted June 5, 2011 Author Posted June 5, 2011 That's really good that you feel stronger now and have control over the situation. It gives the rest of us hope that we can do it too. I, myself, started NC again. It's my second try and I have to admit that this time it's going the way I want it to go. I hope I won't fail. Your post gives me hope AlaFlower, You can do this. I think I restarted NC 3 or 4 times before I was ready to really do it. Control is a big thing and I am having to understand that I just can't control somethings. Keep on trying and if you mess up, get back up and start over again. I am counting on you being happy also!
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