This guy will not get over me, and it is causing me stress.

[Mintpurple]

We went to the same school and fellowship 6 years ago. I thought of him as simply a friend, just like any other guy. Then, 2 years later, I was moving to another city. I kept in touch with all my old friends through Facebook, including him.

 

The first warning I should've realized was his random message: "Why do you type differently when you talk to me? You say "hi and LOL" to Name Here and never me.":confused:

 

Needless to say, I was confused and surprised, so I made sure to chat with him more on Facebook. I never felt anything more than mutual friendship for him. I never led him on-- if I pasted the messages here, you'd find nothing that even slightly suggested I liked him as more than a friend. I talked to him just as I did with the other guy friends I had.

 

So this guy threw a lot of hints that he liked me, including putting down other guys who commented they liked my profile pic. (He is the silent type, who plays violent computer games and broods on the inside, by the way, so these weren't joking insults.)

 

One day, I got mad at him because he bashed one of my pictures (I was 14 at the time, so I was naive). Afterwards, he wrote a long message saying how he "loved me and knew I loved him, so he'd forgive me". I was angry and politely told him I never liked him as more than a friend, and that his rude comments on my photos were the reason I was mad.

He continued to deny it, claiming I led him on. He sent a few more long messages pitying himself. My friends showed me his FanFiction stories online, which were all love stories about a guy forgiving a girl who moved away. (One of them quoted, "the girl warrior had tears in her eyes, he knew she loved him on the inside.")

 

Well, to avoid any more complications, I deleted him on Facebook, only to have him send a request 2 years later with the message, "I am over it, I hope you are too." I guess out of politeness, I added him again. We never talked afterwards. Then a few days ago, I saw him post several songs he always mentioned back in his love messages to me. His captions:

 

"Reminder of the sad past between me and the song." and "Wish it didn't remind me of her, but it does."

 

Then his friends posted, "oooh, is this THAT girl, is this HER..."

 

So apparently, he hasn't gotten over me yet, plus he has been telling his friends the story. A story that is completely distorted by his view, because he claims I was madly in love with him back.

 

I don't know what to do. This guy is not the average guy: I mentioned before, he's the silent, brooding type; when I knew him, he always kept to himself playing computer games. Any advice? Should I lose all contact with him so he'd move on? Maybe I'm being over-cautious, but you've heard of the psychology stories where the guy was so convinced a girl liked him, it didn't end well for the girl...

[spiderowl]

If he says anything to you again, to suggest you were in a relationship with him, then it's best to make it absolutely clear. Like "I was never in love with you or in a relationship with you and I don't want to be - sorry". At least then you will have made it clear and he can't claim that you haven't told him.

 

But, I can see why you are concerned. It would be best to cut off all contact with him after you've made it clear. As long as he is allowed a route to you, whether it be Facebook or whatever, he can convince himself you like him and that you are both involved in this meaningful but sad situation together. I wish I could say he would give up then but he may not. If he doesn't, that's the time to seriously start thinking about talking to the police (once you have told him to go away and leave you alone). Let close friends know you have some concerns and ask them to watch your back. Hopefully, he just needs a firm 'no' from you to wake him up from this fantasy of you both loving each other really.

[Eve]

What Spiderowl said.

 

Hopefully he is just 'quietly psycho' and won't do anything in real life but make up stories.

 

I would just unfriend him and block him on FB after being clear that you have no idea what he is talking about. Don't even acknowledge or argue with him. Shut him down.

 

Some people are very nutty indeed.

 

Take care,

Eve x