Mme. Chaucer Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 As much as Kelemvor might be offending some people on here, I give him lots of kudos for being HONEST. Not only on here, but within himself. Really? I'm not getting that at all. I'm getting a pretty intense "fiction" vibe, but I've been wrong before.
PinkInTheLimo Posted June 21, 2011 Posted June 21, 2011 "Marriage" means different things to different people, so remember that before you judge me so harshly. No, I didn't marry for this profound and deep love relationship, I married for a family because I thought that's what you're supposed to do. I thought that was a key to happiness and fulfillment, raising kids and teaching them, experiencing a family, "loving" the other person in your own way, providing for your wife and family, etc.. Some people need an enormous amount of emotional investment in the relationship to be happy, but not all men and women feel this way and are perfectly happy when they don't have to give all of that, nor do they require it. It doesn't make the relationship any less "satisfying" because after all, that's subjective isn't it? That's what I mean in that I've had much happier relationships in the past, and these were women that really wanted to get married for many of the same reasons that I did but were more in line with my life philosophy than diametrically opposed to it. Kelemvor, you are entitled to have your idea of what a marriage is. Only, are you honest about this with your wife? You say that you want to try a bit longer before you give up but if your wife does not know that this is your agenda, then you are dishonest and not honest. Also, if you have had affairs, your wife should know this as she should know all parameters which concern your marriage. My question remains why of all people you married your wife and not your more independent girlfriends who seemed better suited for your rational (and cold) approach to life. Could it be that your wife who I guess indeed wants that profound and deep love, gave you more than these other women a glimpse of how it is to love someone in such a way that it does matter whether that person is there or not? Only to now reject her when she feels depressed because of living with a cold person like you. The only decent thing you can do is be totally open with your wife and tell her that you cannot return her deep love for you. I am normally all in favour for working on things but it seems to me that it is inhuman to stay longer in your marriage since you will only create more agony for your wife (expressing more contempt, having maybe another affair, making her feel even less accepted,...). Agony which has nothing to do with her flaws but with yours. I also want to tell you that I find your posts incredibly conceited. A bit of modesty and humility would not harm you.
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