whiplash2004 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I have been with the same man for 4 years and we are engaged. He has been working on the road for over a year now and is only home on the weekends. When he is home all he wants to do is play Play Station or watch TV. When I ask him to do stuff he huffs and puffs. I work full time and during the week I allot times to see my girl friends and spend time with family. I have never really had close girl friends and I am very excited that I have some now. My best friend is recently single and likes going out every weekend and every weekend she asks me to go out. I did at the start but realized that I am too old to be going out every weekend. Plus only having my fiance home on the weekends I really would rather spend my time with him. But now my fiance is saying that he doesn't like her and that her life is just a bunch of drama and he does not want me to hang out with her. I understand that I only see him on the weekends and that my time should be spent with him, but I am very upset/frustrated that he does not want me hanging out with her at all. I have not spoken to her in a couple of weeks and don't know how to go about telling her what is going on with my fiance. I know that I can tell her that I can't go out on the weekends because I want to spend time with him, but how do I tell her about all the anxiety her drama causes me? How do I tell him that she is one of the best friends I've ever had and that he is being jealous/possessive? I just wish he would want to do stuff on the weekend and not just sit around the house. I am on the go ALL week and never really have time for myself so on the weekends I'm still in GO mode and want to do stuff but I don't want him to get mad at me if I want to go out and do stuff, whether it be by myself or with friends. So confused and frustrated! Please help shed light on the situation.
cybersister Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Your fiance is threatened by you spending time with a singleton... That is normal to worry-if she goes out he will assume it is a hunting expedition and you might hook someone also. But being worried does not make it OK for him to dictate your friends It is also fine for you to tell your friend that when he is home he comes first for you. I would reassure him you are not hunting, but when he is away you will spend time with your friends- after all it is our friends we turn to when we are down and right and proper that we support them when they are down. This is what friendship is. But why does he not want to do stuff with you at weekends- that is what he needs to be pressed on- is he overworking/ worried about something- he needs to tell you. Hope this helps
Author whiplash2004 Posted June 6, 2011 Author Posted June 6, 2011 Thanks Cyber sister. He is just lazy on the weekends. He works all week building buildings and the job is getting down to the last few weeks and is very hectic at work, but I am also in the same field and don't have problems wanting to do stuff on the weekend. He is very much an introvert like his father, he wasn't like this when we first got together, but overtime he just got lazier and lazier. He is in a comfort zone at home and does not want to get out of it. But it makes me sad and I already have talked to him about this and it's not getting better. Now I'm worried that when we have kids he will be the same way. I don't want to live the rest of my life like that, but I do want to spend it with him.
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