youaretheone Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Her father lives in London and she went to visit him for his birthday this morning. Now it turns out that the father did some nasty stuff in business and police is looking for him. He is planning to flee to another country and he will go to long term prison if he gets caught. Since my gf is with him right now, she has to follow him. Consequently, she is experiencing the fear of getting caught by the police. She called me over Skype and told me this. I had no idea what to say other than to stay calm and I'm here for her to do whatever I can. I also recommended her not to call anyone because they might be tracking phones. I have never been in a situation like this. What would be the best thing to do? Just wait and see if they succeed escaping to another country?
Kamille Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Her father lives in London and she went to visit him for his birthday this morning. Now it turns out that the father did some nasty stuff in business and police is looking for him. He is planning to flee to another country and he will go to long term prison if he gets caught. Since my gf is with him right now, she has to follow him. Consequently, she is experiencing the fear of getting caught by the police. She called me over Skype and told me this. I had no idea what to say other than to stay calm and I'm here for her to do whatever I can. I also recommended her not to call anyone because they might be tracking phones. I have never been in a situation like this. What would be the best thing to do? Just wait and see if they succeed escaping to another country? What? Why would she need to go with him to another country? That hardly makes sense. She's not the one with a warrant for her arrest. He is. I understand wanting to be supportive and loyal to one's family, but I really don't see what her escaping with him would accomplish. Her dad should really go it alone and not put her in that position, IMO. It's extremely selfish of him to put her under this much stress. Or, in other words, if my partner was helping someone escape from the law, I would strongly recommend he remove himself from the situation.
Author youaretheone Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 To be honest, her father is an *******. He treats her like his secretary, not a daughter. If she resists, she has no place and no one to go to and she is not a resident of UK. She will come back anyway but he does not allow her to tell him what she wants to do. It is a two sided trouble for her.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Is she an adult? Why can't she just stay where she is, or return to wherever you are? I know it's very difficult to stand up to one's parents even if you are legally grown up, but the time for her to do so is NOW. I hope you will encourage her NOT to flee with her father. The mess he got himself into is not her mess. Or, is it? She's been treated more like a secretary ... could she be in trouble herself from participating in his business dealings?
Author youaretheone Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Yes, she is an adult. I wanted to tell her to come back tonight but she said she has to go with him. I don't know why. I am afraid of becoming the one who encourages her to leave his family alone in this. She has nothing related. She has to face the stress and consequences of it and that is what's worrying me.
Star Gazer Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 She is aiding and abetting an alleged criminal, thus potentially making herself one as well. And similiarly, anything YOU do could also be considered aiding and abetting. As much as it sucks, to save your own arse, I'd cease contact immediately.
iJester Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Sounds to me, like she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she came up with a bull****, off the wall story to never talk to you again instead of breaking up with you.
Author youaretheone Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Sounds to me, like she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so she came up with a bull****, off the wall story to never talk to you again instead of breaking up with you. Yeah yeah, that's probably why she was crying to me on Skype, saying that she loves me and wants to be next to me. What a nice way to break up. Before replying, I would really appreciate if you accept the situation as real and then give some advice regarding the situation. It doesn't help me at all searching for meanings behind her story.
iJester Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 If she really wanted to be next to you, she would be. For your sake, I will pretend that this situation is real. I'm curious, what do you see as your most viable options right now?
spiderowl Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Could your girlfriend stay with you if she doesn't leave the country with her father? Why does she have to go with him - it is because she will have no home or means of support if he goes? Has she got a mother she could talk to? Perhaps she should do that and see if her mother has any ideas? If your girlfriend is afraid of being left without home and family, why not ask her to stay with you? At least she will have somewhere to go other than with her father. It is not her fault her father got into trouble and it is unfair of him to expect her to go with him. All this aside (which is assuming the situation is true), have you considered the possibility that she is a scammer? Scammers constantly appear to be 'on the move because they are looking for an opportunity to extract money or marriage out of the victim. If you do not know her well, or anything about her background, and she tries to extract money from you, please think again. Whatever the situation, I hope this gets resolved. It must be very worrying for you and scary for your girlfriend if she is genuine.
JungleLover Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 All this aside (which is assuming the situation is true), have you considered the possibility that she is a scammer? Scammers constantly appear to be 'on the move because they are looking for an opportunity to extract money or marriage out of the victim. If you do not know her well, or anything about her background, and she tries to extract money from you, please think again. . You have to consider this possibility. Don't go about this without firing on all cylinders. The story sounds suspicious. Why does she "have to go with him?" How long have you known this woman? I would be very careful. If she asks you for money during this URGENT situation then be even more careful.
Star Gazer Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Great point, OP take note. The above makes a lot of sense. If you start getting urgent requests for money, don't bite. Yeah, I can't believe I missed that! But I think it's more common for men to get suckered into the "send me money, emergency!" scam...
Lucky_One Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Assuming this is real.... If she just went to London this morning, then obviously she came FROM somewhere - some sort of home or place to live. She didn't just emerge from the womb and catch the tube, and she didn't live on the streets before she went to her father. She obviously had money to travel and a home to return to, and if she is an adult, then she should have had some sort of plan of how and when she would return to her home. She doesn't HAVE to go with him. She can just go home (wherever home is).
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