RuinedLife Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Recently I've been trying a new technique to try and help me move on, stop living in despair and regain some of my old self esteem and old interests. That is... Trying to pretend that my failed relationship was nothing but a dream, and now that I'm awake again I try to "rewind" my mindset back to a time before my failed relationship and try to return to my old way of life and the interests I had before the relationship. Obviously it is impossible to completely convince yourself of this, but trying to think of it in that way has helped me a little in the last couple of days. Whether it will in the long run I don't know. I'm still having despairing episodes but it has helped me return to some of my old interests at least. I was just wondering if anyone else has ever tried this? Or tried to reset their mind in a similar way? Its like restarting a video game at some previously saved, but comfortingly familiar level I guess and trying to play the game in a different way. Don't get me wrong, I still think about my ex pretty much constantly, but I try hard to think of him more like some figment from a dream I had, and not to think of him as someone who is actually out there somewhere in the real world not loving me anymore, moving on with his life, being happy without me and possibly dating new people.
PelicanPete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I did something like this, I rewrote the events of my relationship in every way I can think of so it loses it's emotional novelty and just feels like a memory. For me it was a good way of moving on, and it took me 5 months to get over my ~4 year relationship. It was a lot of work, but it was well worth regaining my happiness and the knowledge that came with it. The main ingredient for moving on is time. The longer life goes on for, and the more you grow as a person, the more your relationship turns into a memory rather than a reality. If the self that was in the relationship refuses to grow and change, then you'll never move on. Thought determines action.
EgoJoe Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Don't live in denial man. It hurts more to be real but denial is for the birds.
Sugarkane Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 i don't think pretending it was a dream is a good idea. You don't want to live in denial forever.
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