CNovem Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Well mine's the typical military deployed to iraq for the 3rd time, fiance cheated story. We were together almost 4 years, engaged for a year. 2 years ago i made my second deployment over here and we came on low times, but i was told one of her classy (sarcastic) friends tried to hook her up with a guy while i was away. She confessed that nothing ever became of it, and besides her own admission nothing pointed to the fact. We got engaged a year after that and i did everything i could to support her as she finished up her schooling (masters degree). So this deployment came about us and things seemed great. we talked every night i didn't have to work (we only work at night to visit bad people). well halfway into the deployment she made a trip to a conference and we spoke on the phone one night as she was going out to dinner and karaoke with a bunch of people from the conference. I was busy for a couple nights after that so it wasn't until she returned home from the conference that we got to talk again. Well at first she said everything was fine and the conference went well, but after a few minutes she came out with she had made out with a married guy at the conference. They had a lot in common and she went back and spent the rest of the weekend with him while they were at the conference. no sex though she says (ha like i believe that, not that it really matters) so she broke it off with me (obviously going to happen either way) and admitted to hooking up with a guy the second time i was over here too. So the way i look at it is someone so disgusting didn't deserve any of the support (especially financially) that i had provided from the second deployment. But all she willingly returned (i had to arranged everything (fedex came to her, charged to my account) was the ring (i am thankful for that at least) but it drives me insane that she believes she deserves to keep everything else, jewelry, a nice laptop for school, expensive camera for her hobby, etc that was given to her under false pretenses because of her lying from the second deployment. oh and she didn't tell me then because i would leave her (no sh*t) Hopefully karma is real because i'm sure a 'classy' woman like her and a married professor will turn out well (oh and she continues to cyber date him on the laptop i bought her) and i speculate the rest of my stuff will be sold off so she can buy and apartment so he can visit her where she does school. So the jist is: everyone always says don't stoop to their level, be a good person blah blah. But really, that piece of s**t man is a cowardly f**k back in Pennsylvania and needs to be taken down a notch (though he did show me how worthless my ex is, guess i should be thankful for that) and she's truthfully better off now then before we got together (her life wasn't going anywhere to put vaguely). Is it really that bad for me to lash out and call her out for what she is? use all the derogatory words, call her the w***e she acted like, etc! I have no doubt that i'm better off without such trash, and i will do fine finding a good woman, but it feels like losing the short term battle. (we don't like to lose, or we wouldn't be in our specialties) thanks for letting me vent (we don't exactly cry on each others shoulders in the group i'm in)
Bryanp Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 First, let me say thank you for all you do for the service of our country. Second, she is a real piece of work. She is such a user and you are right just a piece of trash. You deserve so much more. You are lucky you got your ring back. Actually you are so lucky that you did not marry her. If it makes you feel better do everything you can to get your things back. Contact a lawyer in your hometown and make her life miserable. You have paid enough and try to get your things back. Good luck.
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Unfortunately you're unlikely to be able to get "gifts" back. They were given as gifts and are therefore her property now, to do with as she pleases. Your property on the other hand, if she still has any, you can get back. Whether it is economical to do so (ie. is the value of your possessions worth more than the legal costs you would accrue) is another matter. Do you have contact details for the OM's wife? If so then you could tell her what is going on. She deserves to know what kind of man she is married to. But beyond that you are best off rising above petty revenge. It doesn't do any good in the end.
Chi townD Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Yeah, I was in the military as well and I've seen so many relationships end due to long deployments. I don't know what the hell is going through girls (and guys) heads when we're gone fighting a war for our country. How they can lay in bed with someone else while at that very second we were literally fighting for our lives. That they have sooo much disregard for us and what we may be going through... I agree with the other poster, find out who the OM wife is and tell her. She has a right to know. I would go no contact with her. No point in calling or writing an e-mail telling her that she's a cheat. She already knows and doesn't care. However, I'm sure she spinning it to people that you two have "grown apart", or "we're just too different people now." or "we both want different things out of life." OR blaming you. " He turned into someone I don't like. He's not the same man I met." Crap like that...... If people ask were to ask me why we're not together anymore, I would be honest with them. " We're no longer going to get married because she cheated on me on my second deployment and then she cheated on me during my third with a married professor." All you would have to do is just tell ONE PERSON and that information travels like wild fire! She would then be BLOWING up your phone, but ignore it. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!!!
whammy Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 honestly, if your engaged... the things you buy for her DO have strings attached. those of for your wife (essentially). I would never spend money on a woman unless she is (or is on the path to being) my wife. so once she did this to you, those things are no longer hers. I would take her to small claims court and try to get it all back. Honestly, its not about revenge and its about whats right...you work hard for your money.
Darren Steez Posted June 5, 2011 Posted June 5, 2011 That my friend is one kick to the gut. No one likes to be used in such a manner but my guess is she's enjoying life right now, everything is well but once things settle down and she knows what she lost she'll start putting out tentative messages to you because she knows she will have lost a good man. You now know what kind of a cruel and using woman she is, she has shown no concern for you, probably in her warped mind thinks you being deployed is you not giving enough attention to her. Let her go, there are thousands of women who would die to snag a man like you. Leave this bird in the dust and start a new. You dodged a bullet there mate! Life is now good!!!! Good luck.
thatone Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 call her a whore every chance you get. she deserves to hear it and that's what she is. let the other stuff go, it's not worth having to associate with her to get a laptop back and other such things.
thatone Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 Normally the best revenge is living well, but in cases like this, have at her, him, any way you can IMO. Have been hearing lots of truly disgusting stories about what wives do while their husband is deployed in Iraq. Thank goodness you hadn't married her or had kids with her yet. this is an awesome situation for a parent's often unused facebook page. if her mother had one i'd post on it in a second, leaving a message to the effect of "well i enjoyed meeting you guys but your daughter decided to cheat on me while i was in iraq, have a nice life".
Memphis Raines Posted June 6, 2011 Posted June 6, 2011 So the jist is: everyone always says don't stoop to their level, be a good person blah blah. But really, that piece of s**t man is a cowardly f**k back in Pennsylvania and needs to be taken down a notch nah, leave him alone. he did you a HUGE favor. He helped you see that your x-fiance is a worthless piece of s***. and better now then after you would have been married to her. He saved your life. Let her be his problem now though. Your revenge will be best served up cold. a man like you who is serving his country deserves a much better woman. Is it really that bad for me to lash out and call her out for what she is? use all the derogatory words, call her the w***e she acted like, etc! absolutely not. I believe in calling a duck a duck. don't worry about those that would put you down for calling her what she is. Your words pale in comparison to what she did to you, and what she is. If it makes you feel good to call her those things, do it. But call her what she is, then leave it alone and move on.
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