guitarxkid Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Hey guys, If you read any of my past threads you can see I've come off of a pretty heart breaking breakup, and its been about 8 months since the breakup. After NC with my ex I can say I'm almost over her. But that's not what I'm making this thread for. I've started talking to this girl who's been in a seemingly unhealthy relationship on and off for about 3 years. She says shes not with her ex anymore so we've hung out a couple times and talk every day. She's said this before and usually ends up back with him. She also mentioned that her ex has punched holes in her walls and other things like that, and I've heard worse stories. He's also cheated on her. A few months ago I was at the same point with this same girl while she was a on a break with her ex and her ex called me and was furious and wanted to meet up to fight. He calmed down and eventually me and this girl drifted apart and they ended up back together until now. Today, I got a call from her ex but let it go to voicemail just because I didn't want to deal with that and I honestly didn't know what I would say. My question is, should I keep talking and hanging out with this girl who I like a lot and who is helping me get over MY ex so much and realize my ex wasn't perfect or leave it alone so I don't get into a bunch of **** with HER ex. I'm supposed to hang out with her tomorrow so some advice would be great! Thanks
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Ok - so it seems that neither one of you is over your ex's and are probably using each other as the band-aides. On top of everything else you've got this guy calling you and giving you crap. Way too much drama. Deal with the breakup solo - feel the pain - even if it's now going on 8 months. Sort yourself out. Never get involved with someone that still talks to their ex - especially when that ex is crazy, has a crappy past with the girl and is now calling you to threaten you. Don't meet up with this girl tomorrow.
Author guitarxkid Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Ok - so it seems that neither one of you is over your ex's and are probably using each other as the band-aides. On top of everything else you've got this guy calling you and giving you crap. Way too much drama. Deal with the breakup solo - feel the pain - even if it's now going on 8 months. Sort yourself out. Never get involved with someone that still talks to their ex - especially when that ex is crazy, has a crappy past with the girl and is now calling you to threaten you. Don't meet up with this girl tomorrow. The thing is I really don't think she is using me to get over him but more trying to get away from him... Its like she has been stuck in a bad relationship for a while but always gets dragged back into it
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 The thing is I really don't think she is using me to get over him but more trying to get away from him... Its like she has been stuck in a bad relationship for a while but always gets dragged back into it Reality check: nobody is stuck in a bad relationship and nobody is in anything they don't want to be. True - situations can be complex but nobody is forcing her to do anything. Don't start making excuses for her or for yourself. It might feel good to be the knight in shining armor right now - but it will only lead to a headache.
Lucky_One Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) Break it off. And chase happiness with someone else. She can't possibly be the "happiness" that you seem to want. How can she be, when she is preferring to spend her romantic/sexual time with someone who appears to be abusive and controlling? Go find real happiness. But you won't find it while you are embroiled in this unhealthy dynamic. Edited June 3, 2011 by Lucky_One hit enter too soon
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