irc333 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 There was this one woman I knew....mid 40's, single, never married, no children either. One of those rare women that wound up with that kind of outcome in life. She did, however, had come close to getting married (engaged), however, it came to a situation where she had a problem with men, wanting to spend MORE time with her. How horrible, right? LOL. Yes, that was a problem with her when it came to the men she dates. From HER point of view, they were needy, from THEIR (her men's) point of view, the desire to be around her outweighed their desire to be around their friends on social night. Apparently, "girls night out" for her, was more important than "guys night out" for him. Often times, you here women say in their profiles, "Looking for a man that's not intimidated by an independent woman." Maybe this is what they're referring to, when it comes time when the relationship starts gettings serious, adjustments are desired, and well, one person who has been single for so long, aren't willing to compromise their hobbies and social life for that? Yes, this woman actually had a rather active hobby, very passionate hobby, also she had a lot of friends she liked to hang out with, too. That's fine and dandy, but every single friend had had in a large circle of friends: 1. The majority of the group consisted of single people. 2. Once someone coupled up, you'd see them once a couple or few months, as opposed to almost a weekly or daily basis. The shift takes place when relationshps evolve, but I think this is how people wind up being single into their 40's and beyond. They were willing to never compromise FOR a TYPICAL relationship. (one where some people just are normally just desiring to spend more time with one another). Some people grow SO accustomed to living single, they cannot even partake in a normal, loving relationship.....sure, they exist, but only last short term. Is this an incompatiblity issue OR is this a person that needs to work on themselves if they want to make a relationship work?
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I'm in my late twenties and I have a lot of female friends that are single and in their early to mid-forties. I have two friends who would say that when they were younger (~35 and younger) they were focused on fun with girlfriends and careers - they were not looking for relationships and when they had them they did not make them a priority. Now 1 of the friends is upset and feels like she has lost her chance at finding someone/having kids (she's 43) and the other one is still just happy being single - she thinks it would be nice to have a guy but she's not too bent out of shape over it. 2 other women are just flat out choose to work on themselves and plan on staying single due to their beliefs about men and relationships.
P&R Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) There was this one woman I knew....mid 40's, single, never married, no children either. One of those rare women that wound up with that kind of outcome in life. She did, however, had come close to getting married (engaged), however, it came to a situation where she had a problem with men, wanting to spend MORE time with her. How horrible, right? LOL. Yes, that was a problem with her when it came to the men she dates. From HER point of view, they were needy, from THEIR (her men's) point of view, the desire to be around her outweighed their desire to be around their friends on social night. Apparently, "girls night out" for her, was more important than "guys night out" for him. Often times, you here women say in their profiles, "Looking for a man that's not intimidated by an independent woman." Maybe this is what they're referring to, when it comes time when the relationship starts gettings serious, adjustments are desired, and well, one person who has been single for so long, aren't willing to compromise their hobbies and social life for that? Yes, this woman actually had a rather active hobby, very passionate hobby, also she had a lot of friends she liked to hang out with, too. That's fine and dandy, but every single friend had had in a large circle of friends: 1. The majority of the group consisted of single people. 2. Once someone coupled up, you'd see them once a couple or few months, as opposed to almost a weekly or daily basis. The shift takes place when relationshps evolve, but I think this is how people wind up being single into their 40's and beyond. They were willing to never compromise FOR a TYPICAL relationship. (one where some people just are normally just desiring to spend more time with one another). Some people grow SO accustomed to living single, they cannot even partake in a normal, loving relationship.....sure, they exist, but only last short term. Is this an incompatiblity issue OR is this a person that needs to work on themselves if they want to make a relationship work? How long were these people spending with their SO? I can totally understand the men in your story OP. My girlfriend was like this at the beggining of our relationship. She was 23 years old and never been in a relationship, she had been single her whole life. Her idea of spending time with me was 1 day a week for 3-4 hours. To me that kind of behavior would not fly in most relationships. To me 2 days a week is good, that is not being needy... if the person in your story could not even handle that then she probably shouldn't be doing the relationship thing. Most men would feel bad about the situation that I described. In a relationship you want to feel like a priority... not like somebody in the backseat. Edited June 3, 2011 by P&R
Author irc333 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 Right...and personally, I don't have any friends that I hang out with routinely anymore....why? Because THOSE friends coupled up with a sig. other. LOL So if THEY are doing it, then there's no reason another woman I go out with can, too. lol I don't have any real close friends I hang out with, I have a game night group that I play some games with a few hours a week, but after that we go out seperate ways. (back home to spouses, or whatever or whomever) If you're into your hobby and your friends or hobby more so than a boyfriend/girlfriend, perhaps the single life (and when I say single, I mean totally boyfriend or girlfriendless) is not for you. How long were these people spending with their SO? I can totally understand the men in your story OP. My girlfriend was like this at the beggining of our relationship. She was 23 years old and never been in a relationship, she had been single her whole life. Her idea of spending time with me was 1 day a week for 3-4 hours. To me that kind of behavior would not fly in most relationships. To me 2 days a week is good, that is not being needy... if the person in your story could not even handle that then she probably shouldn't be doing the relationship thing. Most men would feel bad about the situation that I described. In a relationship you want to feel like a priority... not like somebody in the backseat.
Woggle Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I would stay away from women who go around shouting about how independent they are. If they met somebody that got their juices flowing they would be as obsessive as anybody else.
Disillusioned Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 The woman in the OP's description sounds like the ideal customer for buying a male Realdoll. If she really is the well-off corporate type, $8K shouldn't be a problem.
denise_xo Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Is this an incompatiblity issue OR is this a person that needs to work on themselves if they want to make a relationship work? Depends on what your goals are. In a hypothetical situation where I was single again, I'd probably opt to stay single partially for some of the reasons you mention. I am a loner, restless, like to move around, have a lot of friendships that are important for me to maintain, and a workaholic, and the lifestyle I now feel comfortable with is not particularly compatible with a standard idea of how relationships work. So, yes, if I wanted to be in a relationship again I'd probably have to work on myself, but I'd probably rather say that I'd choose to remain single, with a slight possibility of exploring more open ended terms of engagement.
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