xlovehurts Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Ok so here is my situation: I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half, (pretty good relationship) we went on a break 3 weeks ago because of my exams (I instigated the break and he agreed), we both promised each other we wouldn't date anyone else... So basically to cut a long story short, he called me up last week saying that he started liking this girl he met at work, he thought she was stunning and had a great personality, he said he hugged her and that she added him on facebook and then they started talking. I actually didn't know how to react and just said to him something along the lines of, "I can believe after a year and a half of being with me, you saying your totally in love with me and then just because we stopped talking for a couple a weeks you start liking someone else, that makes no sense to me".... He didn't know what to say back to that. But i think i had a point, now honestly i am heartbroken, i don't even know what he wants, because we haven't spoken in a week now and i am SO sure that the more we don't speak the more he's going to start talking to her and developing feelings for her but i have 3 exams next week that are SO important and its just the worst time for me to get into this. My head is such a mess, do you think i am making a big deal out of it? Surely if he starts liking someone only after 3 weeks of us being on a break that says something no?
Davey McG Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I don't think he's done anything wrong. For a lot of people, a "break" is a nice way of dumping someone. Rather than drag it out, he has used those 3 weeks to work on himself, think about things and move on. In his eyes, you dumped him because of exams. Thats a pretty harsh blow for anyone to take - that they mean less to their significant other than some exams. I am not surprised that he's looking to move on. You've shown yourself to be unreliable and he will feel unloved, especially as you pulled something like this after 1 and a half years. I think you should let him move on and look at your own role in this. I bet he'd still be with you if you hadn't asked for a "break"
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Why did you ask him for a break? Is it not possible for you to be in a relationship while you have exams? Yes he saw this as you being unreliable and not wanting him, so he has moved on.
Flgirl44 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I don't think he's done anything wrong. For a lot of people, a "break" is a nice way of dumping someone. Rather than drag it out, he has used those 3 weeks to work on himself, think about things and move on. In his eyes, you dumped him because of exams. Thats a pretty harsh blow for anyone to take - that they mean less to their significant other than some exams. I am not surprised that he's looking to move on. You've shown yourself to be unreliable and he will feel unloved, especially as you pulled something like this after 1 and a half years. I think you should let him move on and look at your own role in this. I bet he'd still be with you if you hadn't asked for a "break" I agree it is up to him about how he moves on once dumped. The second paragraph about him meaning less than some exams she is taking.....that happens in relationships. You are not always going to be the number one priority in someones life, and if you take it personally every time you are going to get resentful and act out probably(similar to OP's bf). I would question why he is telling you this around your exam time. He sounds really passive aggressive by doing that. He knew your exams were stressing you and that was the reason for the break, if he had any care in his heart for you he would've respected your work and made this known at another time/held off for another week. Sounds a little suspect to me.
PegNosePete Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I would question why he is telling you this around your exam time. He sounds really passive aggressive by doing that. He knew your exams were stressing you and that was the reason for the break, if he had any care in his heart for you he would've respected your work and made this known at another time/held off for another week. Sounds a little suspect to me. Well if he had not said anything and OP had found out through other sources then what would have happened? It would be even worse. I think by being honest he made the right choice.
Flgirl44 Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 It had been going on 3 weeks though. Why not disclose the first week, second week? I just find it highly unlikely the timing of things. Not that he technically owes her anything, but I just find it a little hard to believe he just happened to meet someone three weeks after they break up and have strong enough feelings for her to justify dumping bad news on the ex during exams.....without perhaps trying a little bit.
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