ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Yeah so me and this girl have exchanged a few emails and called each other a couple days ago. Good convo. I'm sort of away for a few weeks (trying to visit on weekends). So at the end of the convo she says: (as an fyi - i asked her if she'd like to come up and visit me for a weekend, half-jokingly - to which she says) "Well, I like talking to you. You seem like a cool guy. But, I don't think I should go up there. I mean, you could be an axe murderer and all. But yeah, it would be weird if it didn't go well and you know. So, maybe we should just wait until you're back and go from there. But I do like talking to you, and we can talk anytime" ----------------------- On a side note - I don't know how she is, and it's definitely not something I would ask someone this early - But, for me, if I'm interested in someone, I can only talk to that one person. I can't chase multiple women, it feels like I'm betraying someone's trust and it's just not me. I even feel like taking down my match profile for the time being lol. It's just foreign to my personality. I mean I get it, understand, etc. It probably doesn't help that I'm a hopeless romantic. My mind/logical thinking knows what to do, but then my heart races, etc. LOL It's silly I guess (plus I'm 27, almost 28! lol)
NoReallyThatHappened Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 It sounds like she's interested from what you have written here. Have you asked her how she feels about dating multiple people? You don't necessarily have to ask her but you could ask her opinion about meeting and dating multiple people or ask her if she thinks it's common in online dating and what kind of person she tends to be. I wouldn't take down your profile yet, you haven't even met the girl. However, I think you can subtly let her know that you only get to know one girl at a time. She might be flattered. (Or think you're an axe murderer.)
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 It sounds like she's interested from what you have written here. Have you asked her how she feels about dating multiple people? You don't necessarily have to ask her but you could ask her opinion about meeting and dating multiple people or ask her if she thinks it's common in online dating and what kind of person she tends to be. I wouldn't take down your profile yet, you haven't even met the girl. However, I think you can subtly let her know that you only get to know one girl at a time. She might be flattered. (Or think you're an axe murderer.) lol. So what could I say "subtly"? Haven't really talked about the whole dating other people thing, since we haven't met. I felt that was more a "after 2 dates" kind of a question, and I didn't want to come off "desperate" or something like that. So I was going to try and visit a couple weekends in a row (if the first visit goes well) and then maybe bring that up? I've dated a couple "Charlie Sheen Winners" in the past - and this girl is definitely not that type, I can tell that right off the bat. She's the kind of a girl a guy would get great pleasure of putting a smile on her face any which way possible (and I don't mean that sexually, lol)
thatone Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 don't look too much into it, it's a rational concern on her part. be accommodating but keep the initiative going. suggest that you meet somewhere she's familiar with. whether she says yes or no at that point, you have your answer. if she says yes then problem solved, if she still resists simply tell her you're not looking for people to trade emails and phone calls with and let it go.
Mike B. Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 don't look too much into it, it's a rational concern on her part. be accommodating but keep the initiative going. suggest that you meet somewhere she's familiar with. whether she says yes or no at that point, you have your answer. if she says yes then problem solved, if she still resists simply tell her you're not looking for people to trade emails and phone calls with and let it go. I agree with this. I would respect her approach to being careful rather than someone who is impulsive and run up to you and visit so soon.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 I agree with this. I would respect her approach to being careful rather than someone who is impulsive and run up to you and visit so soon. LOL - sorry, i think i created some confusion. Thus, my screen name lol. Yeah after she told me that I said "yeah I totally agree. I know exactly how you feel, etc" that part I'm not worried about, more just for completion sake. ---------- anyways - I don't text this girl often (maybe once or twice during the day) - I messaged her around 2 or 3pm and said very casually (not an exact quote) "hey so if ur free tonight I'd really enjoy talking to you again. even if its about finance" (her job - semi-funny comment on something we talked about last night) And - its 10pm and no response. I had messaged her good morning and hoped she had a good day...she wrote back in the afternoon, said thanks and wished the same to me. then i sent that message. So, I dunno. I'm kind of sleepy so I'll probably start watching flight of the conchords (sis told me I'd like it) - but if I don't hear from her by tomorrow - probably not going to work out I'd imagine? (which is cool - I thought we had a nice talk though)
thatone Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 you basically invited her to ignore you. that's a variance in online dating you have to overcome. she doesn't know anything about you and you don't know anything about her, so there's apprehension about giving out personal info, but you've gotta be persistent to get her past that. as soon as she made the axe murderer joke you should've responded right then and there with something to ease her mind about that. even if you can't work out your schedules for a meeting somewhere right at that point, at least offer to trade facebook info, for example, so that she can see your family/friends and discern that you're a reasonably normal person, and tell her when you're going to call back to arrange something in person. once you get past the initial meeting it's just like traditional dating but you gotta keep insisting on meeting in person in some way that's comfortable to her.
Author ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 LOL - This thread has taken a weird spin - I wish I could edit my OP lol --------------- Thanks for the advice about being persistent everyone - but there isn't an issue with us meeting up. We are meeting up, lol. The first half of my post I was just posting like a brief convo and I forgot to add some additional info before the "------" The main gist was me and my thing of pursuing one person at a time. I should have made that clearer....I'm just kind of excited about this girl, I get a little fuzzy in my thoughts sometimes --------------- Anyways - so right after I post that...she calls me. Apologizes for not getting back to me, explained the whole thing, etc - and we talked for about an hour. Great convo, again. I love hearing her talk, about anything. It's awesome. Just the energy she brings and...ahhh I'm getting ahead of myself So - I told her midway thru the convo that I instead was going to be coming up next weekend. And she was like "okay, cool....I think I'll be in town that weekend " (she's a little sarcastic, but i get it, which makes her cuter). And if that goes well, then I'll probably come back every weekend. I'm such a nerd about her. I showed my sis and her husband some pics I had of her and told them about her - and they were both like "yo, don't be a moron. better do whatever you can to hold on to this one! :)" Ok - end of thread. I'm going to bed! :D
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