xomotoxgirlxo Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Me and my boyfriend still live with our parents and next month we will be dating for 2 years. We always hang out at his house and because of that I am always driving over there (it is only about 10 mins away). There is just nothing really do at my house and my mom is always home. I am getting sick of driving over there all the time to see him and yesterday I drove over there 4 times throughout the day. He refuses to come and pick me up and thinks it just makes more sense to have me come to him. He gets mad at me when I ask him to pick me up and sometimes I will even suggest having someone drop me off and he can just take me home later and he refuses to that as well! Am I making a big deal about driving over there? Or is he being selfish?
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Even though it is only a ten minute drive - tell him to start pulling his weight. If he refuses then start taking care of yourself and hang out with your girlfrieds. If he can't pick his ass up off the couch to come and visit you then someone else can.
Author xomotoxgirlxo Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 You know, I think he has said in the past if we were to go somewhere he would pick me up. I think we are just a boring couple now. All he likes to do is watch TV and I miss the walks and bike rides we use to go on. This is just one problem among MANY that I have posted on here. Last Friday, I was invited by several friends to hang out and I couldn't get a hold of him to let him know. Finally he woke up and told me he didn't want to go out and I told him it wasn't fair to me to stay in just because he wanted to. He finally agreed to go out, but MADE me come and pick him up and drive us to the local bars. He is very good at manipulating me to do what he wants and I think I just need to put my foot down more instead of giving in. You should work together in relationships, but he constantly has to butt heads with me and deny he ever does anything wrong.
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I was invited by several friends to hang out and I couldn't get a hold of him to let him know. Finally he woke up and told me he didn't want to go out and I told him it wasn't fair to me to stay in just because he wanted to. He finally agreed to go out, but MADE me come and pick him up Say what? Your friends invite you out and you call him...then you wait for him to get back to you....he says No and then you complain that it's not fair that you have to stay in because he didn't want to go? Who runs your life honey? Your friends invite you out....you want to go out...you go. Problem solved. You don't call your boyfriend for permission and then get pissed when he doesn't want to go out. He didn't make you do anything. You aren't a victim.
vsmini Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 He is very good at manipulating me to do what he wants and I think I just need to put my foot down more instead of giving in. Well exactly - a manipulator can only be as good as the person who is being manipulated lets them be.
carhill Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 What's the worst possible thing he could do if you enacted the boundary you outlined regarding him coming to pick you up? Dump you? Well, that wasn't hard was it? Now go have some good times with your friends and worry not about gas miser boy. That's an order
Sanman Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Say what? Your friends invite you out and you call him...then you wait for him to get back to you....he says No and then you complain that it's not fair that you have to stay in because he didn't want to go? Who runs your life honey? Your friends invite you out....you want to go out...you go. Problem solved. You don't call your boyfriend for permission and then get pissed when he doesn't want to go out. He didn't make you do anything. You aren't a victim. Quoted for truth! If you are going to spend time at his house then it does not make sense for him to pick you up. If you are out and a friend is dropping you off...get dropped off. If you do not want to drive to see him and he does not want to come over to see you...don't see each other. If you want to go out...go out.
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