angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 what are the rules for wearing clothes on dates? if you arent feeling ready to go far with him is there things to make sure you do not wear to give wrong signals? something happened on my beach date and i did not expect/plan it
EasyHeart Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I generally always wear clothes on dates. At least first dates.
2sure Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 what are the rules for wearing clothes on dates? I dont think there are rules, but I say: Wear em. Seriously though, as long as you are dressed appropriately for the activity, the venue, and yourself...there are no fashion rules. Be clean maybe. If you were wearing a bikini at the beach....appropriate. If you were wearing a thong and that is your habit and it is not a childrens playground type beach...thats not inappropriate. If you go topless (on purpose) and it is not a topless beach...Inappropriate. If your left boob accidentally falls out of your bikini top - its not an invitation. If you lose your bottom while body surfing...its not the same as stripping. If your date did something offensive to you, and then blamed his behavior on how you were dressed....ditch him.
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 I generally always wear clothes on dates. At least first dates. lol i worded it messily. like umm what fashion is too flirty, like "if you wear THIS expect him to do THIS"/ what i wore might have been too extreme cos he went far (not all the way but farish)
Art_Critic Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 what i wore might have been too extreme cos he went far (not all the way but farish) Your clothing has zero to do with how far a man can go or should go.. You decide how far and if he went too far then you yourself should have stopped it.. If you tried to stop it and he didn't stop or didn't heed your "NO" (No means No) then he sexually assaulted you.
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 I dont think there are rules, but I say: Wear em. Seriously though, as long as you are dressed appropriately for the activity, the venue, and yourself...there are no fashion rules. Be clean maybe. If you were wearing a bikini at the beach....appropriate. If you were wearing a thong and that is your habit and it is not a childrens playground type beach...thats not inappropriate. If you go topless (on purpose) and it is not a topless beach...Inappropriate. If your left boob accidentally falls out of your bikini top - its not an invitation. If you lose your bottom while body surfing...its not the same as stripping. If your date did something offensive to you, and then blamed his behavior on how you were dressed....ditch him. thanx! i was taken 'a back' by him but i didnt say anything. but i had this summer dress with no bikini under it and he rubbed my boobs during kissing. i should have had my bikini top on but it was in my bag instead. my dress is i think i messed up in being too open fashion-wize.
Star Gazer Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 There are men who think you "deserve whatever you get" if you wear provocative clothing, which to many such men, also includes wearing a bikini at the beach. Just be cognizant that such men do exist. The good ones don't think that way.
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 Your clothing has zero to do with how far a man can go or should go.. You decide how far and if he went too far then you yourself should have stopped it.. If you tried to stop it and he didn't stop or didn't heed your "NO" (No means No) then he sexually assaulted you. i forgot to say no , its like if i am nervous dont seem to talk. i told my friend and she said its like in tennis when you are nervous your footwork is not as good
O'Malley Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I agree with 2Sure; your apparel has nothing to do with someone who makes the deliberate decision to override boundaries. Such an individual would behave this way, regardless if you were wearing a bikini or a turtleneck and pants. It has nothing to do with how you act, but a disturbing pattern of behavior that the guy in question utilizes. You may not feel comfortable discussing what occurred, but any guy who negates your feelings about his actions is someone that you should never associate with again.
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 There are men who think you "deserve whatever you get" if you wear provocative clothing, which to many such men, also includes wearing a bikini at the beach. Just be cognizant that such men do exist. The good ones don't think that way. yep seems strange when i see boys with speedos it seems normal not 'he wants to make luv' etc
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 I agree with 2Sure; your apparel has nothing to do with someone who makes the deliberate decision to override boundaries. Such an individual would behave this way, regardless if you were wearing a bikini or a turtleneck and pants. It has nothing to do with how you act, but a disturbing pattern of behavior that the guy in question utilizes. You may not feel comfortable discussing what occurred, but any guy who negates your feelings about his actions is someone that you should never associate with again. i hope hes polite/safe on the next date. i like kissing with him
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 All that has been said before is true, but if you do wear a dress like the one linked, try not to "forget" your bikini top under it, as it is extremely revealing and even the nicest guy would have troubles not letting his hands go there while kissing. i wear at home with no underwear/bikini so i totally forgot. coolz at least if its my fault then i know he is a good guy!
2sure Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 No!! Its not your Fault. Never go with that line of thinking regarding your personal boundaries. I mean sure, people can react to what we have on. Whether it is a sheer top, a statement T-Shirt, a minidress or a power suit. And you have to be ready for positive and negative reactions when you dress in anything not traditional or risky. Thats your responsibility. At the same time: What we wear or dont wear, while it may get attention, is not ever a reason for someone else to assume an invitation.
2sure Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 That doesnt mean he isnt a good guy. What I mean to say is: If you wear a sheer shirt or a provocative outfit - you might get attention. Fine. At the same time you have to be able to enforce your boundaries: "Hey, I dont mind if you look but dont touch" or " You are making me uncomfortable"
TaraMaiden Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) I'm sorry, I get the impression that either the OP is dreadfully innocent naive, (somehow I don't think so) or is playing it for all it's worth. Which I'm more inclined to consider.... Let's see... She goes on a beach date. She "Forgets" to wear a bikini under the dress. On a beach? where everybody wears swimwear? she wears the dress at home with nothing under it....and totally forgot...? She forgot?? Gimme a break....! I get the impression she's a bit of a cussy hussy who's now 'protesting' - but not really..... Edited June 2, 2011 by TaraMaiden
2sure Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Well, I have been known to take off my wet bikini top and toss on a light T-Shirt at the beach...just to be comfortable. But then, I am kind of a cussy hussy. If someone groped my boob I would consider it assult. But if I were kissing him and he didnt - that would bug me.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 The most important rule is to never wear a low cut shirt/dress that exposes your cleavage on a first date. I know that you're trying to show off "the goods", but it's actually very inconsiderate to your date (it's very distracting and you have to make a constant conscious effort not to stare "inappropriately").
ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I actually agree with that somewhat. Good guys don't WANT to stare at your chest. But, if your boobs are popping out - it's kind of hard not to notice. And then you're going to say "geez, all he does is look at my boobs" when really he may be thinking "omg, what the hell can i look at? the ceiling?"
oaks Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I think we need a better photo. It'll convince me that it's not just an elaborate way to generate more hits for the store selling the dress, anyway.
zengirl Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 "No cleavage" is a strict boundary. I don't show tons of cleavage ever, really (well, maybe if I'm in a relationship, going out with my fella, and going somewhere very nightlife-y, but rarely). However, I'm only between a B and C cup, and I'd have to keep pretty high cut to get away from even a HINT of cleavage when wearing a bra, so I guess it depends on what you consider "cleavage." But nothing terribly low cut (tits) or terribly short (legs/bum) or ridiculously tight is a good bet if you're looking for basic boundaries. Everyone has their own. Another rule I have is similar to my rule with makeup (eyes or lips): Play up one asset at a time. First or 100th date, you'll pretty much never see me in something that is short, tight, AND has cleavage. To me, that's overkill. Legs, bum, or tits---I generally pick just one to play up. But these are just personal guidelines that I go by. I also tend towards the "tame" side, I suppose. In terms of whether it's appropriate to touch your breasts when kissing. . . eh, I think it's more about the whole culmination of events rather than simply the dress worn. I've never had someone try to cop a feel when kissing that it wasn't invited, but I have pretty good creep-dar and also am pretty good at asserting boundaries that remain consistent. I think some gals have inner-dissonance, and their boundaries are ever-moving, and that might be hard for a good fella who wants to respect boundaries but has no idea where they might be, if they're always changing on him. Clothes are one very small piece of that puzzle. Now, if a guy when for a straight up grab of the breasts under that top during kissing, I'd probably think, "Eh. . . a little aggressive, dude" but most guys would sort of edge in, giving you a moment to stop them before they got too crazy if you were an assertive gal minding your own boundaries (as gals should do---it's not the man's job to assert your boundaries, only to respect them).
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 (edited) The most important rule is to never wear a low cut shirt/dress that exposes your cleavage on a first date. I know that you're trying to show off "the goods", but it's actually very inconsiderate to your date (it's very distracting and you have to make a constant conscious effort not to stare "inappropriately"). we had a tennis date before, i for sure am not offended if he looks at my me theere. That doesnt mean he isnt a good guy. What I mean to say is: If you wear a sheer shirt or a provocative outfit - you might get attention. Fine. At the same time you have to be able to enforce your boundaries: "Hey, I dont mind if you look but dont touch" or " You are making me uncomfortable" i guess im not good at communicating, really shy to be honest (talking-wize) I'm sorry, I get the impression that either the OP is dreadfully innocent naive, (somehow I don't think so) or is playing it for all it's worth. Which I'm more inclined to consider.... Let's see... She goes on a beach date. She "Forgets" to wear a bikini under the dress. On a beach? where everybody wears swimwear? she wears the dress at home with nothing under it....and totally forgot...? She forgot?? Gimme a break....! I get the impression she's a bit of a cussy hussy who's now 'protesting' - but not really..... we live really minutes from the beach i do forget a lot , i relaxa lot and forget things. when i walk dogs on the beachi wear my dresses so on the date i did too. at home i wear no clothes under my dress and when i left home i forgot to put things under it. my mom yells all the time about this Edited June 3, 2011 by angel_tenniser
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 "No cleavage" is a strict boundary. I don't show tons of cleavage ever, really (well, maybe if I'm in a relationship, going out with my fella, and going somewhere very nightlife-y, but rarely). However, I'm only between a B and C cup, and I'd have to keep pretty high cut to get away from even a HINT of cleavage when wearing a bra, so I guess it depends on what you consider "cleavage." But nothing terribly low cut (tits) or terribly short (legs/bum) or ridiculously tight is a good bet if you're looking for basic boundaries. Everyone has their own. Another rule I have is similar to my rule with makeup (eyes or lips): Play up one asset at a time. First or 100th date, you'll pretty much never see me in something that is short, tight, AND has cleavage. To me, that's overkill. Legs, bum, or tits---I generally pick just one to play up. But these are just personal guidelines that I go by. I also tend towards the "tame" side, I suppose. In terms of whether it's appropriate to touch your breasts when kissing. . . eh, I think it's more about the whole culmination of events rather than simply the dress worn. I've never had someone try to cop a feel when kissing that it wasn't invited, but I have pretty good creep-dar and also am pretty good at asserting boundaries that remain consistent. I think some gals have inner-dissonance, and their boundaries are ever-moving, and that might be hard for a good fella who wants to respect boundaries but has no idea where they might be, if they're always changing on him. Clothes are one very small piece of that puzzle. Now, if a guy when for a straight up grab of the breasts under that top during kissing, I'd probably think, "Eh. . . a little aggressive, dude" but most guys would sort of edge in, giving you a moment to stop them before they got too crazy if you were an assertive gal minding your own boundaries (as gals should do---it's not the man's job to assert your boundaries, only to respect them). my mistake is for sure not saying boundaries guess lucky he did not touch under the low half of my dress, that is pretty scary to replay in my head if that happened!
Author angel_tenniser Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 If that's you in your avatar, are you quite sure he reached out and fondled -them-? or did -they- reach out and fondle -him-? yep is me , i wear that bikini mostly. i like white bikinis but they look too seethru.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 Let me get this straight. Your tits are huge. Knockers more than tits really. You wear that dress you linked, you know, the one with the breast area being see-through...and you "forget" to wear a top under it...so therefore, your huge knockers were visible...and you're upset that he grabbed them while kissing you? Lmao. Maybe I'm just a ****ing psycho or I think that maybe, just MAYBE, if you don't want people to be inappropriate about your physique...perhaps, cover up? When I go to the beach and my shirt is off, women grab me when I'm not looking. It's expected. And these are women. Guys are alot more horny than women. So you should've saw this coming a mile away, or at least, when you realized you could see your tits through your dress. I bet you wear revealing **** all of the time, which is why he thinks he can just grab your tits like that. When you dress like a sexually loose woman, men will treat you like a sexually loose woman. Men 101.
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