Killingmesoftly Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Hi, on my iPhone so bear with me. Would appreciate input into my issue. I've been dating y girlfriend for 9 months now. I care deeply for her, you could say I've had issues with trust due to previous problems. I recently found out that my girlfriends flatmate is actually her ex. its affected the relationship - I trust her not to cheat on me with him, but I'm still slightly paranoid. Due to this my girlfriend has said I've been acting differently. In turn, she has been off with me. I told her I don't know if I could deal with it. I feel as if "what else isn't she telling me" at times. After I told her, she said she doesn't know what she wants, but I can't help feel as if I have made a mistake. Am I thinking about it too much? Can it be fixed / what should I do? Appreciate any help. Thanks
usabup Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Really sorry to hear you are going through this mate. I know its hard. I will try and be honest with you, even if it is hard to hear. This girl is still living with her ex. That says it all. If I was you, I would get out now and begin your healing process. If you have been together for 9 months and she has only just told you, she cannot be trusted. Period. If she didn't have feelings for her ex and they were just friends, she would have told you straight away. I'm really sorry to say this, but I would be amazed if she hasn't cheated on you with him. I mean think about it. Of course she has.
Author Killingmesoftly Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 Thanks for your post. Appreciate it. What you said is basically what you have been thinking.
Author Killingmesoftly Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 Thanks for your post. Appreciate it. What you said is basically what I have been thinking. Does anyone else have any advice? Thanks again.
Kodo Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) Really sorry to hear you are going through this mate. I know its hard. I will try and be honest with you, even if it is hard to hear. This girl is still living with her ex. That says it all. If I was you, I would get out now and begin your healing process. If you have been together for 9 months and she has only just told you, she cannot be trusted. Period. If she didn't have feelings for her ex and they were just friends, she would have told you straight away. I'm really sorry to say this, but I would be amazed if she hasn't cheated on you with him. I mean think about it. Of course she has. I'm sorry man I pretty much agree with this, BUT she may not have cheated. But I'd be less likely to believe that if she had of come to you first and spoke about the whole damn thing BEFORE letting anyone move in etc. That's beside the point though. She may have, she may have not. You need to work with what you know. You KNOW the ex is there and what the hell for?! That is NOT appropriate what so ever. Get out of it now. If she is doing no wrong she'll follow you and leave the ex behind. Edited June 2, 2011 by Kodo
usabup Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I'm sorry man I pretty much agree with this, BUT she may not have cheated. But I'd be less likely to believe that if she had of come to you first and spoke about the whole damn thing BEFORE letting anyone move in etc. That's beside the point though. She may have, she may have not. You need to work with what you know. You KNOW the ex is there and what the hell for?! That is NOT appropriate what so ever. Get out of it now. If she is doing no wrong she'll follow you and leave the ex behind. Kodo is right, sorry it was wrong of me to say of course she has cheated. I mean, she may not have. I don't know the girl. But if I'm being honest, if I was in your situation I would have to assume she has. Like Kodo says, however hard it is, walk away and if she wants you she will follow you. If she dosnt, she won't. But walking away will give your your answer and save any loss of dignity.
Author Killingmesoftly Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 It's fine. I was thinking the same. The only problem is, that she rents for 150. A month each - lives in London, as well. Only problem is that I know she can't afford to pay more earns 200 a week or so. That's why she can't move out. I'm confused, and after sharing my problem, I've realised it's logical and in my best interest to leave her. Thanks for your time.
Recommended Posts