wilsonx Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 So I dated my best friend for a year and a half. The biggest problem of our relationship was communication and she would never tell me the truth OR SO I THOUGHT. I have been reading the forums EXCESSIVELY and talking to friends the past few days trying to find out what is wrong with my girlfriend. For a while I thought it was GIGS. I was like yes that describes everything. Boy was I wrong. Her and I still live together but shes looking to move out by Friday. Its really hard for us to split but we HAVE TO for both of our sakes. We can get into an argument like last night and I call her a B_ _ _ _ (First time Ive ever called her a name EVER) because I was angry being the dumpee and not seeing it coming. After the fight we were right back to being friends its really weird. I talked to a LOT of friends and I mean a lot and started piecing everything together. I started working out and I use to be a long distance swimmer so I hit the pool this morning and half way through my mile freestyle, ALL THE PIECES FELL TOGETHER. I blamed her for all of our fights and for me being difficult but I WAS THE ONE BROKEN she had been telling me for over a year and I had not been listening. Not at all. I had settled in a crappy job and complained about it all the time and did nothing about it. I put all my eggs in her basket and none in mine. I put my life on hold so that she could finish school this coming Dec and it was starting to make me unhappy. I did not see it. She did but in bits and pieces and i was the one that always tried to prove myself right in every argument. Boy did I realize I was so wrong today over the past 1.5 years. I came straight home after the workout and apologized for everything, I told her she was right the entire time. We use to work together and she quit that job because she loved me and we would fight a lot because of work. I would get so mad at the smallest thing that she did and pick a fight over it. So I was taking my frustration of the thing that made me unhappy on the thing that made me happy.... UGH! She knows Im really sorry but I told her we still need a break, shes angry with me, I need to make myself a better person. If I do not love myself how can I ever love someone else and she agreed. So when she moves its going to be NC for both of us. I told her the day she forgives me for all my wrong doings come over to the apartment and we will talk. If you never come you never come. We are going to really miss each other. She told me last night that she can't stand the thought of not seeing me or talking to me and that I would break the NC because I have every other time we tried but this time, I HAVE TO. I have to make myself into a better happier person first before we can talk again Im sad =(
sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 But don't be sad...it's a huge weight off your mind and back. You know what to do..there r people that CHOOSE to keep their heads up their asses n never know or change for the better. Great insight. Be happy you know what to do know and where the energy, blame, pain should be focused. When those r fixed, you can get anything you want. When it gets stressful next time...see someone..the worst part of r/s's is the projection b/c they're so close, n it feels like they're in our heads n we're too scared to ask for space or think we need space..n that compression brings out our worse. Know how important the SO is to you from here out and look inward first.
Author wilsonx Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 these forums helped me out tremendously... you just have to stick to the information here... and I will be the first to admit, ITS REALLY HARD
Recommended Posts