intransit Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) it's been 3 months since my 7 year BF broke up with me (i'm 24, he's 29). we were best friends, and each others ONLY support. There was lots of bad stuff/stress in both our lives just before the break up and it seemed the breakup happened out of confusion/hurt since both of us still love each other very much! He said i will forever be the most important person in his life (and i know he MEANS it) and cried. After breakup he seems to be going through hell, decided to drop out of school, and move to cross country. He's been posting on FB daily (he NEVER used FB while we dated), while I don't post ANYTHING but a few new photos of myself being calm/carrying on. I don't feel like we are through! I can't help myself from checking his FB and i know he checks mine. I feel this is the only connection we'll have for now and if I break it, it would be ALOT worse , it almost makes me feel better knowing how his life is going! is this messed up? should i delete him? will this hurt me and him even more?? this has been bugging the life out of me!! please help! Edited June 1, 2011 by intransit
wilsonx Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I am curious about this... my ex girlfriend checks my facebook page like 3 times a day now... Does that mean you still care for him and miss him?
sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Or move on herself as competition to your progress...but 3 times A DAY..she's close to obsessed. Don't know how you're able to find that out. For the OP...how does he break up with you, downward spiral, after calling you "the most important thing in his life"..was this during or after the b/u..or was it really him that ended it or you think that dumpees can't sympathize with a dumper. How did it end?
Author intransit Posted June 2, 2011 Author Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) How did it end? .i was going though some rough stuff, i got distant, pulled away, and took my problems out on him. He was very distressed. Then a few days before we were going to move to a new place together , he said 'i just need to get myself together, I can't handle being hurt by you any more". I was begging and pleading, and he was swaying back and forth and then said " you are and forever will be the most important person in life, it's so sad but I need to go" He is a very honest guy, not one to play games. i've been NC since then, and did a A LOT of growing up and work on self. All while he used FB to flirt with girls, attend every single party, etc.. I could not force myself to stop looking at his FB! He contacted me a few days ago saying he is leaving the country and may not come back alive (!!)... so confused and sad..what to do?? Edited June 2, 2011 by intransit
sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 .i was going though some rough stuff, i got distant, pulled away, and took my problems out on him. He was very distressed. Then a few days before we were going to move to a new place together , he said 'i just need to get myself together, I can't handle being hurt by you any more". I was begging and pleading, and he was swaying back and forth and then said " you are and forever will be the most important person in life, it's so sad but I need to go" He is a very honest guy, not one to play games. i've been NC since then, and did a A LOT of growing up and work on self. All while he used FB to flirt with girls, attend every single party, etc.. I could not force myself to stop looking at his FB! He contacted me a few days ago saying he is leaving the country and may not come back alive (!!)... so confused and sad..what to do?? Yeah, he's in "self destruct" mode. If you have grown, give him guidance. I mean, if he was honest then, he is now. If you want to pursue a r/s...then say so, in this case. It's not advisable as he needs to grow back a bit first, but people say only get with healthy people. The NC probably killed him and he was faking moving on from you and never did. I would suggest keep talking through email to see what his mental state was. You have no obligation, but a good person would see a good companion through their crisis...not just looking ulterior with it...but just being a friend with the feelings you obviously still have for him. Breakups don't end everything unless one party wants/needs it. I think he needs you right now and scared to ask...he did..but in a frantic way. Be there n see what happens. Don't meet unless you know it's safe.
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