start-fresh Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I don't have much dating or sexual experience at the age of 24 and my only relationship has been 3 months. That girl didn't care at all but we had kind of a unique situation. So for most dating situations, how should I handle this? I'm not really excited about lying because she'll most likely eventually figure it out anyway. If it helps, the main reason I didn't date was probably deep down I was insecure about it. I still am but have no idea how to get over it without just trying. I always justified it to myself by saying I didn't need anyone in my life or finding reasons the girl wasn't right for me, when really, I should have just went with things a little more.
Mr. Savage Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Ok, this is right up my ally. I'm 28 and was a virgin until 3 months ago. Just like you my teenage years went by and then my early 20's and nothing significant was happening due to me being so shy. I was always telling myself by this point I am gonna be humilated when it comes to sex cause I will more than likely be with someone who lost theirs as a teenager like almost everyone! The longer you wait the worse it will get, trust me. Just get out there and start dating and don't let your inexperience be a factor. Don't even focus on that. Focuse on finding someone special and worry about that bridge down the road. And most nice girls are completely understanding of your situation and alot of them like that they can "teach" you things! When it does come time to do it you really just gotta go for it. It probably wont be pretty but be sure to communicate to her that you dont have alot of experience. If she dumps you for that then she aint worthy of being a girlfriend anyway.
Author start-fresh Posted June 3, 2011 Author Posted June 3, 2011 How do you deflect something like that though? Just saw aw, I've dated a couple people in the past? They will eventually find out when you can't relate to things they're saying. I don't necessarily have a problem maintaining friendships, but I put dating on the back burner way too much.
vsmini Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 If it helps, the main reason I didn't date was probably deep down I was insecure about it. I still am but have no idea how to get over it without just trying. I always justified it to myself by saying I didn't need anyone in my life or finding reasons the girl wasn't right for me, when really, I should have just went with things a little more. Honestly - If a guy I was dating told me what you just said I wouldn't mind at all. I would completely respect his honesty and it wouldn't send any red flags at all. Saying "no - I've never dated." and leaving it like that would seem kind of weird and I would wonder why... be honest - your answer shows nothing to be ashamed of.
carhill Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 I never talked with any women about my 'experience' and was a virgin until 35. The lady who 'took it' never knew and we were together for about six months. As far as I was concerned, it was a non-issue. If anyone ever asked, I merely answered that I had dated but had not yet found the 'right' lady for myself, which was the truth. I'm still looking
ConfusedGuy28 Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Just be honest. I find that people are always afraid to truly express their thoughts and feelings. When you're first starting out in a relationship - I really don't think anyone needs to be concerned with past relationships, experiences, etc. That's more of a talk for down the road (for one thing). But definitely just be honest and explain your reasoning. That's all you can do, and if someone doesn't respect that - then they were never worth YOUR time to begin wtih.
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