Back Burner Gal Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I know no one can really answer this but I'd love to hear comments. I'm just shaking my head. A long time ago, maybe six months, I wrote about a guy at work who found out his current girlfriend is an exhooker (about 7 arrests), and that she is currently on probation for several arrests for credit card/ financial fraud between $20K-$100K. I'm in human resources and there are only 4 of us in the company who know about this: me, him, my boss and my boss's boss. When I first told him this he was, "But people change, right?" Then it was "It can't be her, she had ID fraud a few years back and records got mixed up". However, fingerprints proved this false (we work in the casino industry and are all fingerprinted), there was no mix up. Then it was, "She already told me all this, I knew it already, and I don't want to hear more." Well, the 'more' I was about to tell him was that the drug arrests she'd had actually were not hers, just the credit fraud and the hooking. Instead of letting me explain that he'd been right about the drug arrests, he interrupted me and got very, very angry and said he already 'knew all that', she'd told him 'long ago' about her drug, hooking, and fraud theft. He specifically said she had told him about her former drug use and the arrests--I just stared at him. He was lying, because she'd never been arrested for drugs (just the other stuff), but he made a big show that she'd told him. He also had no interest in further discussion of the issue. He did NOT want to know the details, altho as her boss, he needed to know. My boss's boss was the one who decided whether she could keep her job (since she had nothing to do with money or computers, she could). We found out about a week before her records came in that HE'd had someone try to use his identity to commit credit fraud. We didn't know about it at the time her federal background check came back with the hits on her arrest record. Apparently the credit card rejection letters came to her house. I'm not sure. All I know is it didn't work, she told him that 'for some reason' she got these letters about his credit and they both went to the police and filed reports. But before that happened, or maybe the same day, he got two calls from the credit bureaus saying there was something suspicious and warning him that someone at her address was doing this. He believes that since she brought him the credit letter/letters this proves she didn't try to fleece him--even tho the bank investigator/credit bureau guys told him it was her IP address that used. He got very angry and accused another employee of stealing his ID and trying to defraud him, so we got the police involved too and had a big investigation. He was livid at this other (innocent) employee and insisted the innocent employee be fired and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and all that person's files be reviewed, from time records, expense accounts, etc and all infractions and mistakes be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law too. This guy was absolutely malicious against the other employee. Turns out absolutely it was the ex-hooker girlfriend who tried to open those accounts. I spoke recently with the police dept detective who subpoenaed ISP and all sorts of records, and absolutely the girlfriend did it and when she asked him if he wanted to press charges against the girlfriend, he laughed and said 'no'. He said he'd already discussed it with a different investigator and the file could be closed out. The police detective said nobody had ever revealed to him it was the girlfriend beyond any doubt until she did. He alluded that he'd talked to one of the bank investigators, but she knew that wasn't true. I am just shaking my head. What's going on with this guy? You'd think knowing your girlfriend was a common streetwalker with seven arrests (some of them with public intoxication and fighting the officers) over the course of fifteen years (the last one was in 2004) would be enough to dump a gal. But he lied and said she'd confessed to him when she didn't (it was something the police asked her about, did she tell him, did he ask her? Nope, the discussion had never come up between them and she was upset that he knew. To the day the complaint was closed they never discussed it. Then you would think knowing that she has been arrested as late as 2009 for financial fraud AND that she had tried to get his money within the last few months would be a turn off. But no, this famous tightwad doesn't believe it or doesn't care (I don't know which). He was determined to prosecute the innocent employee, but when it was her, he laughed it off. What the heck is going on with him. What is he thinking? She's no hottie either. About 50, okay looking but not great, talks about her church a lot (he's NOT a church goer), is very motherly, does gardening and brings in cookies and quiche to work, has 2 or 3 grown sons. What is going on here?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 You'd think knowing your girlfriend was a common streetwalker with seven arrests (some of them with public intoxication and fighting the officers) over the course of fifteen years (the last one was in 2004) would be enough to dump a gal. This is as stupid a position as is blaming only those 14yo's who are pregnant for having sex so young. As what you know is absolutely insignificant to the morality standards of two different people. And by just how great a percentage would today's population be reduced if all "common streetwalkers" of the past were eradicated from the human race or rendered ineligible to enter into relationships? And why limit yourself to streetwalkers? Why don't we include those who have plied that trade on the internet? (once again, why blame only the pregnant 14yo's, when clearly SOMEbody impregnated them, AND other 14yo girls are having sex too) Not only that, but the fact that you yourself are unwilling to express your opinion as your own, and instead trying to present it as if it belongs to everybody else, pretty much shows that you understand that your thought process is not very logical or sensible.
gaius Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) Whatever his needs are they are being met by this woman and he doesn't want to hear anything that might force him into ending the relationship. He's probably convinced himself that none of this is true, or at least totally downplayed it. Everyone is like this in one way or another, it's why Fox News is #1 in the ratings. They are good at presenting information in the way it's audience wants to hear, not the way it actually is. That and the endless supply of attractive blondes. Edited June 2, 2011 by gaius
thatone Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Yep, CNN was a great teacher in that respect. not really.
Eve Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I think that people can be very different one to one than when in a social situation. So, this person believes what he sees when alone with this woman is truly her. Same happens to many victims of manipulative characters. Look at incest and rape victims.. often they don't know until too late who a person really is until alone with them. I think this is also why the normalcy of perpetrators is often hard to take in when they are viewed in a social arena. Obviously also he is not very smart; his willingness to pursue others for his own false vindication... with all the evidence right in front of him. All in all, I would go with the idea that he may carry similar traits. Personally, I prefer to see such matchings rather than more innocent characters being caught within deceit. Oh well, leave them to it. Take care, Eve x
ascendotum Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Whatever his needs are they are being met by this woman and he doesn't want to hear anything that might force him into ending the relationship. He's probably convinced himself that none of this is true, or at least totally downplayed it. Everyone is like this in one way or another, it's why Fox News is #1 in the ratings. They are good at presenting information in the way it's audience wants to hear, not the way it actually is. That and the endless supply of attractive blondes. Agree. Maybe his last couple of gfs were not all that impressive in the sack and ex hooker gf is a champ at getting him off. I don't necessarliy agree that just because she had an arrest record years ago or had been a hooker years ago that it has to be an automatic 'dump their ass' situation for every guy, though I personally would seriously review my options if I found out my gf had that history. The aspect that can make it harder is when a person finds out negative aspects about their SO's history well into the relationship. I have absolutely no sympathy for him though. The guy's a c***, tyring to pin the fraud on another employee, getting him/her fired and likely ruining their reputation in town. Hope deadbeat gf screws him over again and gets away with it later on.
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